Life With Derek: The Secret
by BigDaddyThaddy
Summary: There is something about Casey that only Derek knows. They had met previously back before they became siblings. They shared things things that nobody knew they had together. Things that explain how they are together. Dasey
1. o1o

**Life With Derek:** _The Secret_

**Genre:** Romance/Angst/Drama  
**Rating:** T, may go up later  
**Relationship:** Dasey  
**Summary:** There is something about Casey that only Derek knows. Something about her past before they became step siblings. Something that explains how they are together.  
**Disclaimer:** I do not own Life With Derek. I only own my ideas and the few people you don't recognize.

o1o

Derek knew her better than any of them thought; they all believed they hated each other, but they didn't know the truth. None of them knew about their past together; by past, he doesn't mean years ago, but really just before their parents got together. You must be wondering, how is it that Derek Venturi could have any past with a girl who attended a private school while he was reigning over his high school. That's a long story, one that's going to be shared with you.

He sat, perched on the end of the counter, a cold bowl of cereal held in his hand. His spoon dangled out of his mouth haphazardly, as the _family _unit did their usual morning routine. While his dad and Nora conversed over who could pick Marti up from her ballerina class, Lizzie and Edwin were in deep conversation over the last muffin on the table. Derek's feet dangled over the side of the counter, every once in a while they'd knock into the cupboards. Any second now, he was sure he'd hear his lovely step sister ask him to quit making such a racket. By asking, he really meant screech at him about how annoying he was being.

He could admit that he lived to torture her; that when she fumed over the little irritating things he did just for her, he got some sick pleasure out of seeing it. However, that was no the case. In actuality, the two of them had a very torrid and confusing past together. Though neither of them had discussed this part with each other after becoming step siblings, they both felt it hanging over them constantly. For Casey, it was a very bad time in her life, at least the ending was, which she'd prefer to forget. For Derek, it happened to be one of the best times of his life, dashed by his father and trampled over by his now step sibling.

Derek Venturi is the coolest guy at his school. This isn't an embellishment either; there is no one at his school that could possibly be any cooler than he. Why was this? Well, in all honesty, he's incredibly good looking, funny, and happens to be the captain of his hockey team. The girls fawn over him as if he's a Greek God, and the guys all want to be his friend. Was this a problem for Derek? Not at all. He relishes in the attention.

So you're now wondering what this has to do with little Miss Perfect, Casey MacDonald, right? Well, here's the thing; Derek happened to meet Casey before her mother married his father. A few weeks before the anointed joining of the Venturi and MacDonald family, Derek threw a party at his best friend Sam's house. Why was little private school girl Casey there? You see, Sam has many sisters, a few of which that happened to attend Casey's school. One of which, was Casey's very close friend and invited her along to the exciting bash.

"Derek," Casey half-shouted. "Do you have to be so loud? Could you please sit with the rest of the family, at a table, where manners are being used?"

Frowning, he rolled his eyes. "Casey, Casey, Casey; why would I want to sit at the table where I'll be forced to stare at you while you eat? It's really quite stomach turning." Hopping off the counter, he dropped his dishes in the sink; he had some manners. Walking towards the door, he ruffled her hair. "Later, sis." Hearing her snort in revulsion, he smirked to himself.

Loping outside, he was met with Sam's old, beat up, blue Mustang. He felt his mouth twitch; he was sixteen and has his license, but nobody was willing to buy him a car. He knew for a fact, that they were already planning to get Casey a nice jeep for her birthday next month. All because little Miss Perfect happened to get grades a tiny bit higher than Derek's; alright, a little more than a tiny bit, but still. How unfair is that?

Pulling open the creaking door, Derek slid inside his best friends car. "Hey man," he greeted.

"Hey," Sam said back. "Is Casey coming?"

"Why?" Derek wondered, scowling.

Sam's eyes darted between the door of the house and the steering wheel. "Well, I thought maybe we could give her a ride," he said, shrugging slightly.

"Why?" Derek asked, again.

Sighing, he shrugged again. "Come on, Der. She is your sister."

"_Step_-sister," he emphasized. "Don't tell me you still have a thing for her," he said, snorting.

"What? No," Sam replied with more emphasis than need.

"Then let's get to school," Derek said, leaning back into the seat. "I need to talk to the Coach."

"What about?" Sam asked, before revving the engine.

Shaking his head, Derek stared out the window, ignoring Sam's question. His grades weren't so great and he was slightly worried he was going to lose his place on the team soon. Although his reputation might be able to withstand even without his coveted position as captain, he didn't want to take the chance.

Hearing Sam voice his poor attempt at hiding his crush on Casey just put Derek in a foul mood. The day was not going as planned; he was hoping to get through it unscathed. So far though, his shower had been cold, he'd woken up an hour too early and couldn't get back to sleep, he'd already fought with Case, heard some unnerving news, and now he'd have to face his Coach; who no doubt would be angry with him for not taking his position on the team more seriously.

Half slamming the car door behind him, he made his way to the Phys. Ed department. Knocking on the office door, he waited for the okay to enter. He may not be polite enough to do so for Casey, but he had respect for the man who made him captain of his team.

"Sir," he said, politely.

"Derek," the older man said, happily. A smile warmly sat over his creased face. "Sit down, son."

Taking the cracked chair in front of him, Derek rested his arms on his knees.

"I've been informed by many of your teachers that your grades are falling pretty low," he started, staring at him.

He sighed. "I know Coach and-"

"Now listen, Derek," he was interrupted. "I know that things have been hectic lately. Look, kid, you've got a lot of heart. When it comes to this game, you're king. If I could keep you here for ever, I damn well would."

"What're you saying?" Derek asked, his face darkening.

"I'm saying you've got a month to get your grades up, or you're cut," he told him bluntly.

"Cut?" Derek laughed, angrily. "You've got to be kidding me. I'm the captain; I drive that team!"

"I know you do, son. But the school board set down these rules and I can't change them just for you. You've got to get these D's up to a C." Sighing, he ran his hand over his grey, balding head. "I know you can do this, Derek; you're a smart kid. Hell, you come up with most of our plays." He laughed, good naturedly.

Grinding his teeth, Derek nodded.

Leaning back in his chair, the aging man shook his head. "Don't let me down, son."

"I won't Coach," he said, standing up.

"Go on, now. Get to class." He waved to the door.

Nodding, he left through the locker room. His shoulders slumped and his face was pulled into a worn out grimace. It wasn't enough that he had to hear from his parents that he could take a few pointers from Casey, but now his Coach was telling him to pick it up. There was a lot he had to do besides homework. He had to show his face at all the important events, he had hockey practice, and then he had to go home to the fighting that was sure to ensue.

He seriously wanted it to go back to how it was before. Back when it was just him, Edwin, Marti, and their father. He wanted to go back a few weeks before this whole Venturi-MacDonald fiasco happened. Life was good then; it was the best it could get. Derek had been on cloud nine. He had his group of friends, the best hockey team in all of Ontario, and he had finally found the perfect girlfriend. Of course, by the end of the week, he'd lost the last one. The girlfriend; the perfect girl for Derek. Feisty, beautiful, and just a tad bit better than him. One Casey MacDonald.

oTBCo

**A/N**_ This is my first fic, let alone my first Life With Derek fanfiction. Let me know what you think. There's a lot more to be explained about Casey and Derek's past, some of which will be cleared up next chapter. Thanks for reading_


	2. o2o

**Life With Derek:**_ The Secret_

o2o

Classes were just as completely boring as they were every other day. The only enjoyable part, was when he'd lean back in his chair and catch a small glimpse of Casey. Alright, so maybe that was a tad bit of a sap thing to do. He couldn't help it though; her t-shirt was riding up and showing off her tanned back. When a girl turned around and looked at him funny, he simply gave her his regular flirty smile, causing her to blush and turn away.

He was sitting in his seat at the very back of the classroom; the regular slacker spot. Casey had her coveted teachers pet desk up near the front, in the very center. He may want to bring his grades up, but he wasn't about to risk his reputation by migrating up there. Besides, that would cause Casey to question him and he didn't feel like putting up with her interrogation. At sixteen, Derek couldn't wait for school to end. He wanted to be free of the restraining walls of education and just enjoy life.

While Mr. Patterson droned on about similes and metaphors, Derek's mind wandered back to the fun days of his past. The days that didn't involve a step family. She was happier then; throwing him a smile or two whenever she caught his gaze lingering on her. He couldn't help but think he'd torn that happiness away now. Not only because of his step brother antics; but because of how things had ended between them.

Before he could get to far into his thoughts, he heard the familiar noise of sharp footsteps heading his way. Once again, his lovely English teacher had noticed the lack of attention Derek paid in class. Sighing, he turned his face up to the red, pudgy faced, middle aged man.

"How's it going, Mr. P?" he asked, confidently.

"It's going poorly, Mr. Venturi. Do you care to explain why you choose to ignore my class once again?" he wondered. His large head turned back and forth questioningly.

Shaking his head, he shrugged. "I wasn't ignoring it, I was just enjoying it from afar."

"Your thoughts must have been quite far indeed, considering I've called your name four times and you haven't responded," he told him; his tone sharp.

"Are you sure you pronounced it right?" he asked, tipping his head.

"Mr. Venturi," he said, loudly with emphasis on the mister.

Derek could already see the steam pouring from the man's ears. "Sounds about right, I guess I need to see a doctor about my hearing." Shrugging, he leaned back in his chair. "You know, maybe I should just go see Nurse Kayla. She's always willing to check me out."

A few howls from his classmates caused the teacher to become even more angered.

Ah Nurse Kayla; a tall, leggy blonde who just so happened to be rather young and gorgeous. She'd shown to be rather handy with a few of the older and good looking boys in the school. Though this should be a problem, nobody complained. What teenage boy doesn't want a hot nurse touching him?

"That's it," the man shouted. "You have proven to be more of a nuisance than anything. I hope you enjoy detention for the next two weeks, Mr. Venturi." Stomping away, he stood in front of the class and restarted his lesson.

Sighing, Derek felt like slapping himself. He was supposed to be trying to get better grades, instead he was annoying his teacher. And English just happened to be one of the courses he needed serious help in. Instead of letting his annoyance show, he simply grinned at his peers and slumped into his chair; looking cool and collected.

When school finally ended, and detention let him go, Derek could hardly wait to get home. Sam gave him a ride, asking if he wanted to play basketball or anything. Turning his friend down, he hurried inside, wanting nothing more than a comfortable couch and the remote control. Unfortunately, lady luck was still against him, because all he was given was a don't-even-go-there look from his dad, who was currently sprawled out on the couch, remote in hand.

Stomping upstairs, Derek pushed his door open angrily. Half jumping onto his bed, he sighed at the comfort. Rolling onto his back, he stared at the roof. Blinking a few times, he let his body slowly relax. He was more than tired of what was going on around him. Ever since the two families had merged, his life had been slowly draining downward. Grunting in annoyance, he kicked his shoes off and closed his eyes.

"Smerek," Marti shouted from the doorway.

Pulling himself away from his own irritating thoughts, he sat up. "Hey Smarti," he called to her, a sincere smile breaking out on his face.

Running across the room, she jumped into his arms. "Will you play dress up with me?" she asked, excitedly.

"Not right now, Smarti. I've got to do homework." The words sounded completely foreign coming from him. "Later though, alright?"

"Alright, Smerek." Climbing down, she ran out of the room happily.

Sighing, he fell back on his bed. Lifting his hands, he ran them over his tired face. He really should do his homework, or he'd end up losing yet another prized possession. Rolling over, he grabbed his backpack and dragged it over. Pulling out his books, he threw them all out on his bed. Staring at each of them, he tried to decide which would be easiest.

"Go with Social Studies," came a female voice from the door.

Looking up, Derek was greeted with Casey's amused face. "What do you want?" he asked, annoyed.

Rolling her eyes, she crossed her arms. "I came to ask you for Sam's phone number." Walking into his room, she picked up a textbook. "This one says Socials 11," she explained to him in her your-an-idiot voice.

Snorting, he snatched it from her hands. "I can read, thanks." Scowling, he glared at her. "What do you want Sam's number for?"

"None of your business," she said simply. Frowning, she looked around. "Are you actually planning on doing all of your homework?"

"None of your business," he reiterated. His shoulders slumped; he wished they could go back to how they used to talk. For those few days when she didn't hate every fibre of his being. Clenching his jaw, he forced thoughts of the past out of his head.

Sighing, she shrugged. "Well, I was only asking because there's no way you'll be able to do it."

Turning sharp eyes on her, he was about to shout an insult but she lifted her hand cutting him off.

"I'm not calling you stupid," she told him, cocking her eyebrow. "But if you had been paying attention in English, you'd know that there's a three page report due on Friday. It's Wednesday, if you didn't know, meaning that will take up all of your time."

"Three pages on what?" he asked.

Laughing, she shook her head. "Anything you want. Three pages on something that means something to you."

"Anything?" Frowning, he glared at the books. "I've already got enough homework, isn't a three page report a little much?"

Kneeling by his bed, she grabbed his books. "Smart move, would be to go with Socials, Math, and Biology tonight. That way you have all of tomorrow off to do your report." Grimacing, she shook her head. "The Biology is rather confusing." Standing up, she placed her hands on her hips. "Even though the questions are for Chapter 13, a lot of the answers are in 15," she told him.

His brow fused at her generosity, but she simply smiled.

"It's good to see you trying a little harder in school," she told him.

Watching her walk to the door, he called out to her. "Don't you need Sam's number?"

Turning back, she shook her head. "I think I remember where I put it."

After she left, Derek exhaled loudly. Part of him was rather happy that she was starting to treat him slightly better; but another part knew it wouldn't last. He'd done the unthinkable; the one thing that would forever keep him stuck in her mind as the jerk she saw him as. It wasn't his fault really, but he never got the chance to tell her that. Everything had been going so smoothly, so perfectly, and then it all got completely screwed up.

"Hey Derek," Edwin said from the door. He stopped short, staring at the books in front of him. "Are you doing homework?" he asked, shocked.

"Shut up," he told him, scowling.

"Whatever man, I just came to tell you some babe was on the phone. I think she said her name was Felicity." Shaking his head, he blinked a few times at the laid out homework, almost as if he believed it would disappear.

"Get outta here," Derek told him, grabbing the phone on his bedside table. He hadn't even heard it ring.

Felicity was one of the most popular girls at the school; more so because of her easy ways with the guys on the hockey team. With long black hair and glittering blue eyes, she could make any boy drool. Except Derek, who was completely not interested. In fact, though he turned his attention on many girls, he wasn't interested in any but one. The one he couldn't have; the girlfriend that got away.

"Hey," he said, lazily.

"Hi Der," she said, elongating the nickname she pinned on him. "I'm going to Sam's party this Friday and I happen to be free."

"Really?" he said, not at all interested, but knowing he had to ask her out now. Nobody said no to Felicity Taylor. It just plain wasn't done. If it happened, which was incredibly rare, that person was never considered popular again. In fact, they'd likely switch schools from the burn their reputation would take. "It just so happens that I'm free and interested in taking you," he told her.

"Good, I like the sound of that. Pick me up at ten," she said, easily. "Oh and Derek, bring that klutzy step-sister of yours. I happen to have a brother that needs a distraction just like her."

"What?" he asked, trying not to sound worried.

"Yeah, he's a year older than us and just like her. Honor student, teachers pet, complete spaz, blah blah blah." She giggled, nauseatingly. "They'll be perfect. As long as he's distracted, I don't have to worry about him making me look bad. My pathetic parents have decided I need a chaperone." She scoffed with disgust. "Please, that is complete bull. You can convince Tracy to come, right?" she purred.

"Casey," he corrected, wincing at the realization of what he'd done. "Anything you want. She'll be there."

"Great. See you then," she said, before hanging up.

Hitting the end button, Derek half threw the phone at the wall. What had he done? There was no way that Casey would agree to this. Especially at a party her beloved Sam was hosting. She would assume that he wouldn't like her if he thought he was dating someone. Of course, she'd never hit it off with Felicity's brother, even though he sounded just like Casey. She doesn't go for guys just like her does she? Well her past boyfriends certainly said different. Alright, so as far as he knew, he was the only one and he wasn't even sure if she considered him that.

Grunting, he rolled off his bed. Walking down the hall, he held his hand up against her door, actually knocking. The door opened quickly, Casey's face was directed downward, obviously she was expecting one of the younger siblings. Realizing it was him, she looked up at him, confused.

"I need a favor," he said, half smiling.

Staring at him suspiciously, she backed up to let him in. Sitting down on the bed, she curled one leg beneath her. "I'm not doing your homework for you," she said. "I gave you a couple tips, that doesn't mean I'm going to-"

"That's not it," he said, sighing. "Although it would be great if you'd change your mind and do that." Noting her unhappy facial expression, he shook his head. "I actually need your help with something else. You see, I'm going out with Felicity Taylor this Friday-"

She scoffed, rolling her eyes.

"And I need you to go out with her brother," he said in a very big rush, jumbling the words together.

However, with Casey's high intelligence she managed to catch the sentence. "What?" she screeched. "No!"

"Come on, Case," he begged. "You know I wouldn't ask if it weren't important."

"I'm not going out with some bimbo's brother so you can get off," she told him, angrily.

"Believe me, that's not why I'm asking you to go," he told her. Backtracking, he realized what he'd said. Noticing the confused look on Casey's face, he sighed. "Can you just do me this favor, I don't ask you for anything."

"Why should I?" she asked, crossing her arms.

"Alright, alright. If you do this, you can do my homework for a week," he said, rolling his eyes as if he was giving something up.

"Derek!" she said, exasperated.

Laughing, he shrugged. "Can't blame a guy for trying." His smile slipped away. "Look, I really need you to do this. Just hang around for a few hours, you don't have to do anything with him." Grimacing, he gritted his teeth. "Please," he gritted out.

Casey's mouth slowly turned up in a smile. "Say that again."

Rolling his eyes, Derek huffed. "Please Casey. Will you do this?"

Sighing, she shrugged. "I guess, but this is your one and only favor. I'm never doing another one for you." She stared at him seriously. "Ever."

"Good," he said, slapping his hands together. "Now, let's find something revealing for you to wear."

"Derek," she shouted, throwing a pillow at him.

"I was joking," he said, laughing. Walking to the door, he pulled it closed behind him.

Leaning against the wall, he sighed. That was the second time today that Casey had made him feel remotely welcome around her. There was a small spark of hope inside him that maybe she didn't hate him as much as he thought. Still though, there was no going back. He couldn't change the past; he couldn't make her care about him again.

oTBCo


	3. o3o

**Life With Derek:** _The Secret_

o3o

Derek managed to finish his homework some time near midnight. There were so many interruptions, he was about ready to just throw it all out the window. Marti had come in four times, asking to play dress up; then she made her upset face because he had promised. His dad was too surprised to see him doing homework that he forgot what he dropped by to say, so he ended up coming back three more times when he thought he had remembered but didn't. Edwin stopped by to stare in awe; but found it bugged him, so he stopped when he became scared Derek would beat him up. Lizzie gave him weird looks when ever she passed his door; which he closed, just to get away from the looks. Sam had called twice for him and three times for Casey; putting Derek into an even worse mood. Lastly, Nora had come to see him four times, offering snacks. She seemed so pleased that he was working, that she had to give him sustenance. The only person who left him completely alone was Casey; oddly enough, he kind of wanted her to come in and see him.

When he finally put all his work into his backpack, he leaned back and stared up at the ceiling. He hadn't realized just how uncomfortable it had been sitting with his back hunched. He could now feel the surge of relaxation making its way through his body; it was slightly painful at first. Sighing, he really didn't want to get up and turn the light off. He decided to go the easy root first. Yanking his shirt off, without sitting up, he tossed it somewhere. Pushing his pants down, he kicked them onto the floor. Now, all he had to do was find the energy to roll over and walk the two steps to the light switch. As he gathered the energy, the room fell into darkness.

"Night Derek," he heard her incredibly sweet voice call out. Silently, he thanked Casey for knowing exactly what he needed at just the right time. With that, he fell into a deep and more comfortable sleep than he had in weeks.

The next morning, he woke up late but completely refreshed. He was more than sure that the day would be much less cruel to him than the last. Running out the door, a chocolate granola bar for breakfast in hand, he hopped into Sam's car.

"Could you cut it any closer?" Sam wondered.

"I could've, but I didn't want to give you a chance to invite Casey along," he told him, smirking.

It bothered him still, to think that maybe Sam and Casey would get together, but he couldn't let that show. Sam didn't seem to remember her from the party; then again, he had been pretty preoccupied by another private school girl. One that had hiked that hot little pleaded skirt up her thighs.

"Shut up," Sam mumbled, pulling out of the driveway.

They managed to make it to school on time, at least with the running Derek had to do to get to class, seconds before the bell rang. He discreetly dropped his homework into the bin at the front, careful to make sure nobody saw him. Walking to his seat at the back, he leaned back and yawned.

"Bored already Mr. Venturi?" the upbeat voice of his Social Studies teacher asked.

"In this class? Never, Miss Clark," he said, smiling. "I stayed up all night; eager to get here."

"Yes, I'm sure you did," she said, raising her eyebrows. Turning back to her desk, she opened the textbook. "If you'd all turn to page 156."

Deciding to do something productive, Derek actually opened to where she said and pulled some paper out too. Class actually went by even quicker when he did work. He found it a lot easier to get things done, when he really listened to her drone on about the most boring subject possible.

Leaving the classroom, he bumped right into Felicity. His eyes flashed for a second before he composed himself.

"Watch where you're going, you little-" Noticing it was him, her tone and demeanor changed. Her face became bright and a smile beamed out to him. "Der," she said, flirtily. "You were able to convince Klutzilla to go out with my brother, like I asked, weren't you?" she wondered. Running her finger down his chest, she winked at him. "I know I can make it worth your while."

"She'll be there," he told her, smiling. "And I will see you Friday," he whispered into her ear, noticing the shiver that ran down her.

Realizing what he had made her do, she straightened herself out and gave him a pointed stare. Leaning up, she pressed her lips against his neck in a seductive manner. "Not if I see you first," she said, her breath running over his skin.

Derek swallowed, his mind running back to a different girl. His eyes fell closed for a moment, relishing in the memory. A moment later, he realized what he was doing. Opening his eyes quickly, he noticed a stiff figure walking down the hall, one that looked a whole lot like the girl he'd been imagining.

Turning his face down, he grinned at the sexy girl in front of him. "Looking forward to it," he said, before leaving for class.

For the rest of the day, he was careful to slip his homework into the In boxes of each of his teachers. His last class was English, something he was not looking forward to. Loping into the class, he glanced at Casey, who after noticing him, turned away quickly. Sighing, he realized she had been the one in the hall who had seen him with Felicity. For a moment, he wondered if it really bothered her, then decided it was impossible. She hated him too much to care who he was with.

English dragged on, with Derek taking messy notes as Mr. Patterson droned on. Every once in a while he'd catch the teacher glancing back at him with interest, but luckily the older man didn't make any comments. He also found out more about the homework he'd have to do tonight. Three pages, double spaced, his choice of subject as long as it was something he really cared about.

When class let out, Derek tried to catch up to Casey. He spotted her at Emily's locker and walked over with his regular arrogant stride. He had no idea what he was going to say, or why he was even looking for her, but his feet weren't stopping. Her face turned to him and for a moment, he was at a loss for words. Casey had always been beautiful, in fact when he first saw her, he was blown away by how naturally stunning she was. At that moment, it all rushed back to him. The night he saw her, the movement of her lips turning into a smile. The first words she spoke.

The party was in full swing; loud music, empty beer cans, and drunk people doing the macarena occasionally. While Derek wasn't drunk at all, he was nursing a large white cup of beer and carrying on a meaningless conversation with a girl whose chest size was much larger than her IQ. He nodded while she went on and on about nothing of importance, all he wanted was to get his hands up her shirt. From the way she was smiling at him, he was pretty sure that wouldn't be long from now.

Just then, he heard some shouting in the kitchen. Turning his head, he noticed Sam fighting with his older sister Chelsea. Beside them was a tall brunette, smiling at them innocently. Derek wasn't sure what happened, but he found himself drawn to the beauty across the room from him. When her head turned, he caught her eyes. Smiling his regular sly smile, he was surprised to see her look completely unaffected.

He felt a finger on his chest. Moving his head back, he stared at the blonde. Tracy? Lacy? Jennifer? He wasn't sure what her name was.

"Why don't we take a look around Sam's room," she suggested. "I bet he has a very comfortable bed."

Smiling lazily, he realized his interest in her has completely depleted. Reaching out as a boy from the hockey team walked past, he pulled him over. "This is Brett, I bet he'd love to show you Sam's room."

Shrugging, she grinned up at the handsome guy beside Derek.

"Thanks man," he said, clapping Derek's shoulder.

"Don't worry about it," Derek said, before making his way towards the kitchen. She was sitting on the counter when he saw her last, but now she seemed to have ventured off somewhere. Looking around the area for a moment, he sighed. Sam happened to have a fairly large house, so when he turned around and saw it crowded with faces that seemed to be blurring together, he became annoyed.

"Looking for me?" a sweet and melodic voice asked from behind him.

Turning around, he stared into dazzling blue eyes. "Why would you say that?" he asked, taking in the rest of her face. She had soft features and he had to resist the urge to run his hand over her face. Her dark hair held a radiant shine; it hung down, long and straight. Thin curved eyebrows sat above her becoming eyes. Her mouth turned up in a smile; succulent, perfect pink lips staring out at him.

"Wild guess," she said, shrugging slightly.

His eyes fell down to her body; her perfect, curvy, and lovely body. The curve of her neck called out to his hands, his mouth. Down to her chest, over her petite stomach, and warming at the sight of her long, tanned legs. He felt a finger under his chin, lifting his face to look her in the eye.

"Up here," she told him, half-smiling.

"You must be Chelsea's friend, from her private school," he said, smiling.

"And you must be the boy she's warned me about; Sam's best friend. Derk right?" she asked, cocking her eyebrow.

He knew the moment she said it that not only had his reputation made it her way, but that she knew exactly what his name was. "Close enough," he said. "You have me at a disadvantage. You know my name, for the most part, but I have no idea what yours is."

"That does sound like a disadvantage," she replied, nodding. "So what are you going to do about it?"

He was really starting to like this girl. Not only was she incredibly gorgeous, but she happened to be feisty. Walking around her slowly, he raked his eyes over her once more. "I have a great ability to know people's names, without being told," he lied, but sounded sincere.

Her eyebrows rose. "Really?" she asked, tipping her head. "Then do tell me, what's my name?"

"Lets see," he said slowly. Reaching out, he pushed her hair back, over her shoulder, letting his finger run over her neck. "Dark, silky hair," he mumbled. Staring into her face, he nodded. "Soft, blue eyes," he half-whispered. His skilled hands ran down her side, resting on her warm hip. "Sensual, curved body." Standing behind her, his hands still cupped her sides. Pulling her hair back, he placed his head beside hers. She turned her face, give him full view of her mouth. Lifting his hand, he ran a finger over it. "Pink, luscious lips." Sighing, he felt her shiver. "Your name must be-"

"Casey," Sam's sister Chelsea called out.

Chuckling lightly in her ear, he rested his chin on her shoulder. "Casey," he told her. "How'd I do?"

Turning around, she grinned at him. "Well done, Derek," she replied, before turning and walking to meet her friend.

Sighing, he leaned back into the counter. Of all the girls he'd ever hit on, he'd never felt more attracted than he had with her. Deciding he wasn't going to let it just pass, he went looking for her again. The party was starting to wind down and he became worried that he lost his chance.

"Looking for me again?" her soft voice asked, a hint of laughter lacing it.

Turning around, he grinned at her. "What can I say? 'Casey's' do something to me."

Chuckling, she crossed her arms. "I've heard a lot about you, Derek," she said. Walking around him, she raked her eyes over his body. Though he had always been very pleased with his physique, for a fleeting moment he wondered if he was up to her standards.

"All of it's true," he admitted. He could've slapped himself, usually he said that people were just jealous or cruel and that's why he was stuck with such a horrible reputation; one that he secretly relished in. Or not so secretly, if you're his friend.

She cocked an eyebrow. "I'm not sure you'd be saying that if you heard half the things I've heard about you."

"You see, now I'm at a disadvantage once again. You know about me but I know nothing about you," he said, stepping closer to her.

Shaking her head, she smiled. "That's not true. You went through the very hard task of finding out my name."

Grinning, he nodded. "You've got me there."

"I've got you alright," she said, quietly.

Any more of this and Derek was likely to marry this girl. Playing cat and mouse was something he hadn't done in a long time. The girls he dated were more inclined to just let him have them. He hated that at times; he wanted to have the hard task of changing their mind.

"Casey, let's go. I'll give you a ride home," Chelsea's impatient and warning voice called out.

"See you around," she told him, before turning around.

"Wait," he called out. Reaching out, he grabbed her wrist. "I'd like to see you again," he said, feeling like a dope for the words that came out.

Smiling, she nodded. Producing a pen from her purse, she turned his hand over and wrote down her number. For a moment, he was shocked. Usually, he gave out his number and they called him. Then he'd keep their number for later use, if he felt like it. "Call me tomorrow," she told him. "We can do something."

Nodding, he was at a loss for words for a moment.

Leaning in, she pressed her lips against the side of his mouth. "It was nice meeting you, Derek," she said. Turning around, she walked away with ease and a sway in her hips.

Feeling like he was swallowing a boulder, Derek just watched her leave in a daze. He wasn't sure what this was; but it wasn't just lust. Something told him, he was definitely going to call her tomorrow. Bright and early; well as early as he could possibly wake up. There was no way that he wasn't going to take a chance with Casey.

"Derek?" Casey's voice asked, breaking into his thoughts. She stared at him, slightly concerned. "Are you alright? Do I need to take you to see the nurse?"

Chuckling slightly, mostly out of nervousness that was well hidden, he shook his head. "I'm fine. I just wanted to...uh see if you wanted a ride home with me and Sam." Why did he always say stupid things? He didn't want her anywhere near Sam. In fact, he wanted Sam to switch schools, change his phone number, and never even think of the name Casey.

Staring at him, confused for a moment, she shook her head. "No thanks, I think I'll walk home with Emily.

The pretty girl that was Casey's best friend, stared up at him with a gleam of awe. He knew she liked him and usually he might say something to give her hope, but he just wasn't feeling up to it. He missed the old Casey; the sexy and confident Casey that would take him and kiss him right now. Oh how he wished for the days of the past. Realizing he was staring at her again, he shook his head. "Right. Uh, I'll see you at home."

Turning around, he hurried away from her. He had completely lost his cool which was so entirely not good. He was starting to think it was becoming obvious; he had tried incredibly hard to keep his feelings for her hidden. He wanted to tell her what had happened that night. The night he had screwed everything up with her. The night he had made the biggest mistake possible and never explained his reasoning behind it. The last night he saw her; because she had left him behind, not waiting for him to give her some bullshit excuse. The night he ruined himself, her and the relationship that meant more to him than he wanted to admit.

oTBCo


	4. o4o

**Warning:** _Strong language has been used in this chapter._

**Life With Derek:** _The Secret_

o4o

Derek knew her far better than Casey cared to admit. They had met during a time in Casey's life when she yearned for change. She wanted to experience life to the fullest. To fall in love, enjoy a day without homework or school burdens, and to just enjoy herself in a carefree environment. Running into him at that party had turned out to be just what she had needed. His reputation with women had been recited to her more times than she could count; Chelsea was taking every precaution to try and keep her away from Derek. Turns out, that was all a waste of time, because the moment he set eyes on her, Casey was sure they weren't going anywhere else.

Now, she could feed you a line about love at first sight, but let's not kid ourselves. In fact, when she first saw him, her thoughts were nothing involving love. It was more of, "Does that guy realize that the bimbo behind him has less IQ than her bra size? How pitiful is that?" So she wasn't entirely head over heels for him upon first seeing him. He had made quite the introduction though. Most guys weren't as forward or calm like he was. She was surprised how easily he kept up with her in their small battle of wits. He wasn't her first choice for the start of her new life; but he was just the right person to bring her out for some fun.

As Casey sat at her computer, carefully re-typing her English essay, she had to remind herself to stay on task. She had been acting a little more polite to Derek lately. It was unusual for her to feel like she could drop her angry and vicious tirade against him. He had hurt her more than she cared to think of, and she felt justified in treating him how she did. He seemed just as happy to return her angry attitude; throwing insults right back in her face. She couldn't help but regret ever meeting Derek; not then and not after their parents married. After the fiasco that was their 'relationship' she had felt somewhat better in knowing that she'd never have to see him again. That reassurance was shot to hell though when she found out he was her new step brother. You can imagine it didn't go well.

Before Derek, it wasn't as if she lived a completely meaningless existence. Far from it really; at her school, she was popular. Not for the same reasons Derek was; she didn't instill fear in those younger or less cool. Casey was sweet, nice, and helpful, causing kids to like her and feel inclined to be her friend. She had a good, large, comfortable group of friends around her. As usual, her grades were absolutely spotless; she didn't get any less than she deserved. As for her love life, well aside from a few very disappointing dates, she really only had Derek to look back on, which was a very bad mark on her reputation as far as she was concerned.

There were days when she truly felt like Derek was a great guy; when he wasn't holding up the cool facade like a shield. Moments where she got to see the real him. The day he called her, she knew he was using his 'every-girl-wants-me' voice, but she had a feeling she could bring something better out of him. She remembered their first date, with a sense of happiness. In fact, most of their relationship had been perfect; all except the ending. Oh how she despised him for that last day. She hated herself for falling for his antics; for falling for him. Pulling away from the end, she remembered the beginning.

Derek had called a half hour earlier, inviting her to watch him play a game of hockey with a couple friends of his. It was mid-November and the air was rather bitter. Pulling on a warm jacket and some gloves, she waited for him to pull up in her driveway. She would've asked her mom to drop her off, but she had gone out on a date with someone. Luckily, Derek had been able to borrow his friend Sam's car. She never asked if he had his licence, but decided not to nit pick as long as he got her there and back in one piece.

Casey heard the rumble of the car pull up and hurried to the driveway. He was halfway towards her door when she stepped out. Locking the door behind her, she walked over to him. He looked pretty cute with his hair fashioned in a mess, and his cheeks a little rosy from the cold air. Running his hands together, he grinned at her. "Ready?"

"Always," she said, walking to the car.

Their destination was a large ice rink in the middle of the city, where he and all his hockey buddies met. He turned some music on, but when he noticed her wrinkled nose, he switched it off. Leaning back into the car seat, he glanced at her occasionally.

"So," she said, smiling lightly. "How often do you invite girls to watch you practice?"

"If I say you're the only one, you're going to call me out on lying," he said, smirking.

"You're right, I am," she said, her eyes flashing with amusement.

"So, in all honesty, I invite most girls to the rink," he said, before chuckling.

"Ahhh, so this is like a ritual." Nodding, she smiled. "Well, I'm not one to end tradition."

Glancing at her, he half-smiled.

There was something in the way he looked at her that made her shiver slightly.

Sighing, he ran his hand through his hair. "So, how often do you give you number out at parties?" he asked.

"You were the first," she told him, sincerely. "Must've been your wonderful name knowing ability," she teased.

Chuckling, he shook his head. "What can I say? Some of us have talent, some us don't."

Laughing, she looked out the window at the approaching rink. He pulled in beside a line of other cars. A group of guys were warming up on the ice. Loud rounds of laughter echoed in the air.

"Don't worry," Derek assured her. "They won't bite." Taking her hand as they walked towards the rink, he winked. "That's my job." Showing her the best place to sit, he left to get his skates and gear on. Leaning back in her seat, she wasn't surprised to see a group of girls all scattered around and watching.

A tall, green eyed blonde walked over and sat down beside her. "Hey, I'm Kelsy," she greeted. There was something in her demeanor that was off and Casey immediately knew that this wasn't one of the nice girls. "Are you here with Derek?"

"Derek?' she asked, feigning as if she had no idea who the girl was talking about, hoping she'd take the hint and go away.

Fluttering her eyes, she stared at her with a fixed smile. "Yeah, you know, Derek Venturi. Playboy; cocky, good looking, arrogant, makes out with anything with legs. Cause you better watch out with him," she warned.

"Not ringing a bell," Casey said, shaking her head.

Suddenly, there was a thud against the walls around the seats. Derek stared at the blonde with a little less than hatred. "Kelsy," he said her name, with fake enjoyment. "What are you doing bugging the nice girl?"he asked, his eyes flashing.

"I'm not bugging her Derek," she said, annoyed. "I just thought I'd come by and see which guy she's here for. I assumed it was you, but she said she had no idea who I was talking about."

"Well your description was off," Casey said sweetly. "See, here I thought was with the really funny, nice, interesting hockey player, Derek. Not the one that pissed you off for whatever reason that you have to go around verbally attacking girls you don't know."

Scoffing, the blonde stood up and stomped off.

"I hope you don't cause me to get this kind of attention everywhere we go together," Casey told him, chuckling.

"I make no promises," he said, grinning. "Interesting tactic though," he told her. Nodding, he turned and left to join his team.

After a long while of watching him sweat and knock guys to the ground, Casey found she actually didn't mind hanging around. Derek was an incredible player; getting almost every single shot in the goal. She found herself rooting for him, though not as noticeably or loudly as the other girls hanging around. Every once in a while, he'd stop in to ask her for a good luck kiss. Which she complied to, though nothing too intimate. When asked if it was a tradition, he grinned while skating backwards, away from her. "It'll be one now," he called to her.

When everyone had finished playing, the guys began to leave with whichever girl had come with them. Casey made her way down to find him sitting on a bench, unlacing his skates.

"All done?" she asked. Sitting down beside him, she looked around and found they were the only one's left.

Nodding, he smiled at her. Stopping his unlacing, he looked over at her. "Do you want to go out on the ice with me?"

"I don't have any skates," she said, shrugging.

Reaching around her, he pulled his bag out. "I have an old pair that might fit you," he offered. Pulling them out, he handed them to her.

Lacing them up, she stood up feeling completely off balance. Feeling his hand around hers, she let him guide her out onto the ice. Waiting for herself to relax, she found herself becoming more steady on his skates. It'd been a few years, but she was quick at getting her bearings back. He led them around the rink in a large circle, his hand still holding hers warmly.

Cocking his eyebrow, he smirked at her. "What do you say to a challenge?"

"What kind of challenge?" she asked, her lips turning up in a smile.

"One on one. If I get two goals in, you have to come out with me tomorrow. If you get two goals in, I'll have to go out with you tomorrow," he said.

Rolling her eyes, she chuckled. "That's the same thing. Either way we're going out tomorrow."

"I'm glad you want to," he said, grinning. Moving in front of her, he skated backwards. "So what do you say?"

Tipping her head, she pretended to think it over for a minute. "You have a deal, Mr. Venturi." She held her hand out for him to shake, taking it, he pulled her closer.

"How about a kiss for good luck?" he asked, looking into her eyes, happily.

Leaning up, she pressed her mouth against his in a short but nice kiss. "You'll need all the help you can get," she said, before moving past him and going towards the box for a hockey stick. "You shoot first," she called out to him. Skating towards the goal easily, she positioned herself. Slapping the stick down on the ice heavily, she grinned at him.

"Have you played before?" he asked, moving a puck to the center of the rink.

"This is Canada," she said simply. "What kind of Canadian are you if you haven't played hockey?"

Laughing, he began moving the puck down the rink. "True," he said, nodding. "What position did you play?"

"Center," she said, shrugging.

"That's my position," he told her. Moving to the side, he shot the puck past her into the net. "And there's a good reason why," he said, proudly.

Skating out, she cocked her eyebrow at him. "Lucky shot," she said, shrugging.

Chuckling, he shook his head. "You're not a sore loser, are you?"

"I'm not a loser period," she told him. Positioning herself in the center, she began making her way down the rink. Swerving back and forth, she tried to keep his eyes focused on her, trying to calculate which side she'd shoot from. "Worried?"

"Not really," he said. "Outcome's the same."

"So the great Derek Venturi isn't worried about being beat by a girl," she asked, raising her eyebrow.

"That's not going to happen," he said, confidently.

Letting the puck go, it soared past his leg, just missing his block. Smiling down at him she winked. "We'll see about that, hot shot."

Standing up, he brought the puck down the rink and skated in a circle. "So where do you want to go on our date?" he asked, smiling at her.

"That depends," she said, tipping her head.

Shooting the black piece of hard round rubber, her was surprised to see her block it with her stick.

"I don't know if I can be seen in public with a guy who's had his stick handed to him by a girl," she said, grinning cockily.

"I guess you won't be dating any of my teammates then," he told her, making his way to the goal.

"I guess not," she said, laughing. Standing up straight, she skated down the center and stood in front of him. "How badly are you going to take it when you lose?" she asked him, her voice quiet.

"What's the consolation prize?" he asked, staring down at her with half-lidded eyes.

Leaning up, Casey pressed her lips against his, sucking his top lip gently. Moving her stick slightly, she pushed the puck into the goal. Pulling back, she could see their breath mingling in the air, turning white from the cold wind. "I win," she said.

"I can deal with that," he said. Lifting his hand, he threaded his fingers in her hair, leaning down to her again."

Casey shook her head, pulling away from her thoughts. They may have been great together in the beginning, but he lived up to his reputation in the end. Staring at the computer moodily, she wondered what Derek was writing for his essay. Since all of her homework was now done, she decided to listen to some music.

Rolling her chair away from her desk, Casey looked through her CD collection before deciding on her beloved Alanis Morissette. Pulling her "Jagged Little Pill," disc out, she popped it into her stereo. Stomping over to her bed, she relished in the angry-with-all-men music. Remembering that Derek had a date the next night just made her angrier. Locking her door, she turned the music up louder, letting it envelop her.

"_I want you to know, that I'm happy for you, I wish nothing but the best for you both, An older version of me, Is she perverted like me, Would she go down on you in a theater, Does she speak eloquently, And would she have your baby, I'm sure she'd make a really excellent mother..." _

No doubt Derek would have his fun with little Miss Popularity, Felicity Taylor. Casey not only despised the girl to begin with but now she had to deal with her old jealousy reviving itself. She never wanted to have these feelings for him; she wanted to push him away and never think of him again. She wanted to hate him for the rest of her life.

"Cause the love that you gave, that we made wasn't able, To make it enough for you to be open wide, no, And every time you speak her name, Does she know how you told me you'd hold me, Until you died, till you died, But you're still alive..."

The words matched their horrible relationship almost perfectly. True to her word, Casey had fallen for Derek in just a few short days. It seemed absurd to think it now, to know that she had fallen for his deceptive nature. She had always thought herself a perceptive person. She didn't think she'd ever make a mistake like she did with him.

Her hands curled around the comforter underneath her, as her anger sunk in. Her eyes burned with the tears already milling in her eyes. Her throat became raw and pained. She wished she could just forget him; forget their time together. She didn't want to feel anything for it anymore.

"_And I'm here to remind you, Of the mess you left when you went away, It's not fair to deny me, Of the cross I bear that you gave to me, You, you, you oughta know..._"

Instead of being the forgiving and kind Casey she had always been, she showed him every day they lived together just how much she despised him. Every word he spoke, she turned around on him. Every look he gave her, she threw into his face. Every nice thing he might do, she asked about suspiciously. She made it known just how little she trusted him, with even the smallest tasks. That's how it was with them now; there was no good feelings between them. Only hate and anger lived inside her for him now._  
_  
"_You seem very well, things look peaceful, I'm not quite as well, I thought you should know, Did you forget about me Mr. Duplicity, I hate to bug you in the middle of dinner, It was a slap in the face how quickly I was replaced, Are you thinking of me when you fuck her..._"

When she saw him again, she didn't know what to do. But as if nothing happened, he fell into pretending he'd never known her before. He'd flaunt his many new girlfriends in front of her face, rubbing it in that she wasn't them. Every time she had to see him with some other bimbo, she found herself falling farther and father into her anger. She found the love she had once felt slowly dying away and being replaced, rather easily really, with the cruel and blind anger she threw in his face at every corner.

"_Cause the joke that you laid on the bed that was me, And I'm not gonna fade, As soon as you close your eyes and you know it, And every time I scratch my nails down someone else's back, I hope you feel it...well can you feel it..._"

True, she hadn't dated anyone else since him. In fact, she was considering not dating until school was completely out. That's how much Derek had hurt her; how much he had ripped her heart out and stomped on it. She just couldn't take the thought of going through it again. She couldn't let herself fall for another Derek Venturi. She wouldn't let it happen; not ever again.

"_And I'm here to remind you, Of the mess you left when you went away, It's not fair to deny me, Of the cross I bear that you gave to me, You, you, you oughta know..._"

Despite just how hard she had tried to forget about Derek completely, which was hard given that she lived with him, she had to admit to herself that those times in the past with him had been some of the best moments of her life. The times when she had the real Derek in front of her. The funny and sweet Derek; the one who's kiss made her knees weak. That Derek was the one that she had fallen in love with, not the one she had come to know. Not the one who had hurt her so very deeply. And as selfish as it was, she hoped that he knew just how much pain he caused her. She hoped he had to live with the fact that he had broken her heart, and that it pained him to know he did.

oTBCo

Thank you all to who reviewed! I'm really glad you're enjoying it so far.


	5. o5o

**Life With Derek:**_ The Secret_

o5o

Derek could hear her pounding music reverberating through the walls. The music she played in remembrance of him and his heartless ways, he was sure. Sometimes he'd yell at her to turn it down or bang on the door. Recently though, he'd been thinking a lot about what he had done and felt she was allowed to be angry with him. For now anyway, he couldn't live the rest of his life around her listening to that music.

He stared at his computer blankly; he had to think of something that really mattered to him. Naturally, he wanted to write about hockey, but knew that his English teacher wouldn't find it interested in the least. Leaning back in his chair, he tried to balance his pencil on the tip of his nose. Trying and failing far more times than he cared to count, he sighed and tried to think of something to write.

The blinking cursor sat at the end of his title: "**What Matters Most** - _by Derek Venturi,_" was taunting him. He could write about something that didn't matter; something that would get him a passing grade; just barely. However, Derek really wanted to try and get his grades up quickly and so he had to write about something that really and truly meant the most to him. As he pondered his possessions; his hockey gear, his CD collection, the incredibly hot posters clinging to his walls, he found nothing he couldn't live without.

His mind began to wander again, back to a time when things were much more simple; and a whole lot more fun. A time when he was happy and basically care free. Though he had recently become accustomed to acting as if nothing bothered him, he really used it as a cover for how frustrated and upset he'd become in the weeks since his step family had moved in. In the past he had been living like nothing could possibly go wrong; as if he had everything he could want, and nothing could disrupt it. He was wrong though; very wrong. Everything was interrupted; his entire life was screwed up.

He had one week of happiness; more like five dates, really. Casey had walked into his life and turned it over, but not in a bad way. No, she had made it much, much better. Derek was more than surprised to find himself wanting to spend time with only one girl. One girl and no others that is. He wasn't seeing any other girls on the side. You're probably thinking, well it was only five days, it's not like he had much time. That's the thing, Derek could take three or four girls in five days. He could have one girl a day if he really wanted to. He got offers; he had girls coming up to him constantly, trying to score a date with the most popular guy in the school. He turned them all away; finding comfort only with Casey.

Funny how easily and quickly she had come to change his, some would say, sleazy ways. Within a short time, she had managed to rope him into a relationship. For all of Derek's talk of no commitments and no strings attached, he was breaking his own rule by becoming very attached to Casey. No longer was he only interested in having a physical relationship with her; he actually wanted her to stick around awhile; a long while. In fact, he started considering her for the position of his girlfriend. An odd word on his tongue really. He'd never had a relationship before; for him, it had been any sexy girl who wanted to have a night of fun.

Don't get him wrong; he's not as sleazy as he might seem. Sure, he enjoyed making out with most girls, and he had copped a feel under a number of shirts; but he wasn't reeking with STD's or anything of the sort. In all honesty, Derek Venturi was actually a virgin. That's right; _The Derek Venturi_, had never had sex with any of the girls he'd had his fun with. Now that's not to say that most people knew he hadn't; in fact, most of the school was sure that he had slept with the majority of the girls attending.

This is what came with the reputation of being the most popular guy at school. It was expected of him to be a natural Playboy. He let them think this and had no problem allowing them all to believe it. He never corrected anyone; he didn't even tell Sam that he was a virgin. At least, he was one; no longer was he holding that unknown secret, as he had finally lived up to the label. But that story is still to come; for now, we'll delve deeper into the relationship of Derek and Casey.

Derek leaned back comfortably in the booth of the large, booming burger joint. Casey had gone off to go to the bathroom, leaving him alone to look over the menu. It was her choice as to what they would be doing for their second date and she had decided that a simple dinner out would be nice. She probably hadn't known that she had picked one of the busiest places in the city. Since it was Sunday night, tons of students were all hanging out for their last moments of freedom before the restraints of Monday consumed them. He had already waved so much that his arm was starting to ache.

Casey took his popularity in stride, seemingly unaffected by it. Most of the time, she didn't seem to notice or care; a surprising trait, he thought. The majority of girls he had 'dated' were highly interested in how much of a boost their popularity would get by hanging out with him.

He could see her approaching from the corner of his eye. She was dressed both for comfort and going out in a long red spaghetti strapped top. The V neck reached to an attractive end, revealing nothing but necessary. It was simple, and on her it was nothing short of beautiful. She coupled the shirt with a flirty black skirt that billowed down to the top of her knees; a silky black ribbon wrapped around it and tied in the front. Black strappy, heeled shoes adorned her feet; they were just high enough to bring her eye level with him.

Putting her hand under her skirt to sit down, she smiled at him before looking down at the menu. "Find anything?"

"I was thinking of the deluxe burger with a large milkshake," he told her. Smirking, he tipped his head. "Since this is your date, are you paying?"

Laughing, she shook her head. "Hard up for money right now, Derek?" she asked, cocking her eyebrow. "Maybe I should switch dates with someone." Nodding, she glanced around the room. "That girl looks interested in you," she motioned discreetly.

Glancing back, his eyes widened. "Not her," he said, urgently. "Besides, I'm still liking the idea of a free meal," he kidded.

"Looks like she's spotted you," Casey told him.

Visibly paling, he shrunk down into the seat.

"I'm kidding," she said, chuckling.

Just then, a waiter made his way over. His eyes noticeably raked over Casey's body, causing her to cross her arms uncomfortably. Derek cleared his throat, disliking the attention she was receiving. Telling him what he wanted, he scowled annoyed with the young waiter. The boy attended school with him and seemed to keep his eyes intently on the paper after he realized his mistake.

"Interesting tactic there, Derek," she said, smirking.

"He obviously didn't know what he was doing, or he would've stopped earlier," he replied, leaning back.

"Ah," she said, elongating the word. "No eyes on your property," she said.

"Exact-" Realizing what she was doing, he shook his head. "Not that your property," he replied quickly.

Chuckling, Casey shook her head. "For someone who's supposed to be smooth, you've been slipping up." Sighing, she shrugged her shoulders. "Careful, I might just have to trade you in."

"There's no better model, I guarantee it," he said, winking.

The waiter came back with their milkshakes, one chocolate and one banana. Derek's eyes were drawn to her mouth as it wrapped around the straw. He suddenly wished he were sitting beside her, better access for kissing. Why didn't he think of this before? Clearing his throat, he tried to get a hold of his thoughts. "Monday tomorrow," he said, matter-of-factly.

Smiling, she nodded. "It usually comes after Sunday, yes."

"Does this mean I'll be seeing less of you? Since you'll be going to school," he wondered.

"Do you want to see less of me?" she asked, leaning in slightly.

"No, I'd like to see more of you," he told her, smirking.

Reaching out, she took his hand, turning it over, she ran her finger of his palm. "Well, you have my number," she said, shrugging. "I'm free Tuesday, but only if you plan on taking me to a movie," she said.

"Movie it is," he said, laughing.

Lacing their fingers, Casey stared into his eyes for a moment. Derek couldn't help but he caught by how unbelievably beautiful she looked. Even in the dim lighting of the diner, she was captivating. Sighing, he wished the table was smaller, so he could lean over and kiss her. Music rang out in the background, he was fairly sure it was Alanis Morisette.

Casey's eyes glanced away, her eyebrows rose. "That girl you were worried about has spotted you."

"I'm not falling for that again," he told, chuckling.

He ate his words a moment later, when the strawberry blonde, stick thin girl appeared at their table. Her large brown eyes stared at him with a glimmer of high expectations. Reaching out, she grabbed his freehand. "Derek," she shouted gleefully. "I haven't heard from you in ages," she accused with excitement. "Come and dance with me," she told him.

As she ripped him away from the table, he stared back at the laughing Casey, begging her to save him. While the girl wrapped her arms around his neck tightly, she ground her hips against his almost painfully. What was supposed to be a sexy move, only made him annoyed with her. Letting his hands sit on her hips, simply because he'd look ridiculous with his hands dangling by his sides, he let her sway them around. He was becoming dizzy from the nauseating movement.

Finally, his savior appeared. Her face was still creased with an amused smirk. Tapping on the girl's shoulder, she motioned to Derek. "Hi, you seem to have hijacked my date," she said, chuckling. "Sorry, but he's all mine tonight."

Caught off guard, she pulled away and let Casey have him. Walking away, slightly confused, she didn't even put up a fight.

Shaking her head, Casey wrapped her arms around his shoulders loosely. Raising his hands, Derek placed one on her hip and the other on the small of her back. Holding her closely, he relaxed against the soft movement of her body.

"You've already won me over in spite of me, And don't be alarmed if I fall head over feet, Don't be surprised if I love you for all that you are, I couldn't help it, It's all your fault..."

Running his hand up and down her side, he smiled as her head rested on his shoulder, her breath tickling his neck. Her hand raised slightly; fingers tangling in his hair. Derek felt himself melt against her; he'd never felt so good with someone. He briefly wondered if any of his friends were seeing this and wondering what had happened; then decided he didn't care.

"Your love is thick and it swallowed me whole, You're so much braver than I gave you credit for, That's not lip service...You are the bearer of unconditional things, You held your breath and the door for me, Thanks for your patience..."

Derek realized he was dancing in a diner with a girl he'd only met days earlier and found the idea rather odd. But as she rocked against him, he understood that it was the best thing to ever happen to him. While he had been going through life with girl after girl, he found it nice to think of having just one. As long as was her, anyway. He couldn't imagine himself doing this with any other girl.

"You're the best listener that I've ever met, You're my best friend, Best friend with benefits, What took me so long, I've never felt this healthy before, I've never wanted something rational, I am aware now, I am aware now..."

Lifting her head from his shoulder, she stared into his eyes for a moment. He could see himself in her blue orbs, and for a moment he didn't recognize the guy staring at her. The guy who seemed to be falling and hard, for a girl he hardly knew anything about. All he knew, was that he wanted to know everything there was to know about her. He wanted to know the real Casey, not just the one that flirted with him mercilessly.

You've already won me over in spite of me, And don't be alarmed if I fall head over feet, Don't be surprised if I love you for all that you are, I couldn't help it, It's all your fault..."

Leaning in, Casey pressed her lips against his, causing his eyes to fall closed. Reaching up, he ran his hands through her hair, relishing in the soft feel of it under his fingers. He ran his tongue over her lip, asking for entrance. Opening her mouth willingly, he tangled his tongue with hers. Before long, they had completely stopped dancing, simply cradling one another's mouths. Vaguely, in the background he could hear cheering from a few of his friends.

Breaking back from her for air, his eyes caught sight of the table. "As fun as this is, our food is getting cold," he mumbled.

Laughing, she nodded. "Well if I'm paying, we should make sure it's worth it," she told him.

Grinning, they walked back to the table. As they ate, Derek decided to ask her a few questions, to better get acquainted. She told him about her family; lacking of a father. Her school, which wasn't much to talk about. And in turn, asked about his life. He filled her in on his brother and sister; speaking rather fondly of his younger siblings, especially Smarti. He didn't say much about his dad, except that he was dating someone Derek hadn't met yet. They spent hours at the diner, long past they had finished their meals. Sharing stories about friends, music, fiasco dates, and laughing about life itself.

It was the best time Derek had ever had on a date. He found himself wanting to spend more and more time with her. Just being near her was intoxicating; he didn't want to let her out of his sight. When the manager of the Diner finally kicked them out, he drove her home, far past her curfew. Standing at the front door of her house, she stared at him with a genuine and lasting smile. He didn't want to let go of her hand, but was forced to when she kissed him goodnight and left inside her house.

Feeling like he could skip, Derek made his way back to Sam's car, which he had borrowed once again. Pulling into the driveway, he was able to sneak inside without his dad getting on his case. Making his way upstairs quietly, he fell back on his bed, a grin stuck on his face; one he was sure wouldn't be leaving any time soon.

Backspacing on his computer, Derek retyped the title to his essay. "**What I Lost** - _by Derek Venturi_." For the next few hours, he clicked away; deleting the lines he didn't feel got his point across and adding things that only now occurred to him. Derek had found the perfect subject for his essay. That which mattered most was what he lost a few weeks prior. He didn't have to name names, he didn't have to make it known exactly who he was talking about, but he needed to write it. In the end, he printed off the best essay he'd ever written in his life. Kissing the four, neatly presented pages in front of him, he them away in his backpack. Now that it was all out, he couldn't help but want a sequel; "**What I Got Back** - _by Derek Venturi_."

oTBCo

**A/N** Much later, I'm planning on putting up his essay for all to read. There's still a lot more to come. Casey's POV will be next. I'm going to try and move it back and forth between them, to fully get everything out. I hope you guys are liking what I've written so far. Let me know if you dislike anything or if you'd like to see something happen between them. Please review. Thanks: D


	6. o6o

**Life With Derek: **_The Secret_

o6o

Casey paced the living room, she hadn't dated anyone since Derek and from his description she was expecting the dorkiest looking boy alive. Of course, Derek had never met Felicity's brother; he just told her that the boy was a year older and a bookworm. Sighing, Casey checked her hair for the third time. It was pulled into a half ponytail and hung down in soft curls. She had only applied a little clear lip gloss, some light eye shadow, and mascara to her face.

Deciding she didn't want to wear anything she did when she went on her dates with Derek, she dressed in something less attractive. A simple baby blue shirt, the sleeves reaching to her elbows, that showed off a small sliver of her midriff was paired with low-rise jeans. Silver dangling earrings completed her ensemble.

"It's a party, Case," Derek said. "Obviously they'll be looking at me, not you."

Rolling her eyes, she tried to ignore him.

"Especially with what your date's going to look like," he muttered.

"At least my date hasn't slept with the entire hockey team," she shot back, glaring.

Scoffing, Derek leaned farther into the couch.

The doorbell rang, making Casey's heart beat pick up. She did not want to do this; she hated dating. Why did she ever agree to Derek's stupid proposal? She wasn't even getting anything out of it. She'd be stuck on some nerd's arm as he went off on how great calculus was. Sighing, she waited for Derek to open the door. "Derek?" she asked, annoyed. "Are you going to get it or what?"

"You're closer," he said, waving a hand to her as he switched through the channels.

Snorting, Casey walked over to the door and pulled it over. "Hel-" She lost her breath when she found herself staring into warm, ocean blue eyes. Gulping, her mouth turned up in a smile.

The boy in front of her could not be Felicity's brother; he was gorgeous. With short black spiky hair and piercing eyes, Casey wasn't sure she could form a sentence. She suddenly realized his hand was outstretched for her to shake.

Shaking her head, she chuckled. "Sorry. Hi, I'm Casey," she said, taking his hand.

"Michael," he said, grinning.

"Yeah, isn't that nice," an annoyed and sharp female voice said. Pushing her brother out of the way, Felicity stared at her, tipping her head. "Is your step brother here? Because I like to be fashionably late, not embarrassingly."

Nodding, Casey's eyes were locked on her date. "Yeah, he's somewhere in the house."

Coming up beside her, Derek grabbed his leather jacket. "We all ready to go Case? Hey Feli-" His eyes suddenly flashed as they landed on the boy behind her. "You're her brother?" he asked, shocked.

Sighing, Felicity rolled her eyes. "Yeah, you don't recognize him because he stays locked up in classes, working." Snorting, she twirled her hand in the air.

Casey walked past her, ignoring the popular girls rude comments. Standing beside Michael, she smiled up to him. "Do you go to a lot of these parties?" she asked.

"This is my first," he told her. His voice was deep and kind of scratchy, but it a sexy Vin Diesel way.

"I've been to a few," she said. "Stick with me and I'm sure we can have fun."

Clearing his throat, Derek half slammed the door before he locked it. Walking to Michael's car, he wrapped an arm around Felicity's waist before she told him he was bunching up her very revealing top.

"You're lucky my brother can drive; there was no way I was going to be driven in that Sam kid's car. Have you seen it?" Felicity asked, making a disgusted face.

"It's a 1967 Mustang," Casey interrupted. "It may be a little beat up, but it's a classic beauty."

"Beauty?" Felicity cocked her eyebrow. "I don't think so."

"You like cars?" Michael asked.

Shaking her head, Casey shrugged. "Just Sam's," she told him. "It's a nice car."

In actuality, she loved his car because it held a lot of great memories with Derek in it. When she had commented that it might need a tune up, Derek had said the same thing she said to Felicity. After his little speech on its perfection, she couldn't help but love the beat up car. She noticed Derek look at her, but she ignored his surprised eyes.

Taking the front seat, beside Michael, she tried her best to ignore Derek and Felicity talking in the back. She'd didn't know how Derek put up with all of his little girlfriends useless conversations. If it wasn't something about themselves, it was about celebrities. How dull is that?

"Do you want to listen to some music?" Michael asked her. He stared at her with a somewhat hesitant expression.

Casey got the feeling that he hadn't dated much and didn't really know how to make him feel more at ease. It was the first time she'd dated in weeks and she didn't' like that Derek was slightly part of it. Shrugging, she didn't reply. Usually, when going out for the first time, she liked to talk to them and get to know what they were like.

"She doesn't like music when she's on a date," Derek said. "She prefers to talk."

"Oh," Michael said, shuffling in his seat. "So," he said, uncomfortably.

"Uh, so why don't I ever see you around the school?" Casey asked, trying to put him at ease.

"I take extra classes," he explained. "Plus I'm a year ahead of you, so we wouldn't in the same classes to begin with. I'm trying to get into an Ivy League college," he explained, slightly rambling. "So I want the best possible grades and to try as many courses as I can."

"Wow," she said, nodding. "You must have a lot of homework."

Sighing, he nodded. "Yeah, it's practically all I do."

Snorting in the back, Derek rolled his eyes.

"Derek only plays sports," Casey said. "So he doesn't worry about things like school and getting an education. He relies solely on his looks to get him through life. So you can ignore him; in fact, I suggest ignoring him."

Scowling at her, Derek turned his attention out the window.

"So you two are siblings?" Michael asked.

"Step siblings," they said simultaneously.

"Like Derek could be related to her," Felicity said, checking out her makeup in a mirror. "Klutzilla related to the most popular guy in the school. It's laughable."

"Why do they call you Klutzilla?" Michael asked, his face completely straight.

"That's something Derek came up with. To make my life that much more worse," she said, finding her once good mood falling apart.

"It's not my fault you have trouble staying on your feet," Derek muttered.

"Well, if you fall tonight, I'll catch you," Michael told her, smiling.

Sighing, Casey grinned at him. Before she could respond, he pulled up near the house the party was being held at. He motioned for her to stay in the car and then ran around to open it for her. Blushing slightly, she thanked him. He took her hand as they walked towards the house.

Casey could vaguely hear Derek and Felicity fighting in the background. She didn't want him to mess up her outfit by putting an arm around her and he didn't feel like holding her hand. Rolling her eyes, Casey enjoyed the polite demeanor Michael held.

She could hear the pounding music radiating off of the large two storey white house. They didn't need to knock as the door was wide open and people were running in and out. Michael looked comfortable in his slightly baggy blue jeans and a white t-shirt. A black unzipped thin coat hung over top. He looked around the room with slight apprehension but when his gaze landed on her, he simply smiled.

"Come on," she said, leading him through the living room. "Let's get something to drink."

She wasn't surprised to see a lot of the girls staring at him appreciatively. Much like Derek, he had a long and lean physique. He smiled at people with a friendly grin; he already looked charming to the girls.

Grabbing a couple pops from the ice filled sink, she handed him one. "Unless you like something stronger?" she asked.

Shaking his head, he cracked open the can of root beer. "I don't drink alcohol," he told her.

Casey wasn't one for drinking herself, but she didn't mind a beer or two if she felt like it. Whenever she went to parties with Derek, he had a few, but never got hammered. She liked that he had control enough not to do anything over the top. Usually she just nursed one for the whole party, but since she'd only just met Michael she wanted to be completely sober.

Nodding, she sat on a counter. "So what schools are you planning on applying to?" she asked, sipping her cream soda.

"Harvard, Yale, Brown," he listed. "Only the best."

Smiling, she nodded. "What do you want to be?"

"A lawyer," he stated. "I'd love to fight for the beliefs and rights of people. Standing up for justice and making sure people get what they deserve. I bet it'd be incredible." He spoke with such intense love for his future job, she almost believed he already was a lawyer.

"My mom's a lawyer," she said, proudly. "So is Derek's dad."

"Cool," Michael said, his eyes wandering. "So what do you want to be?"

She shrugged. "I-"

"Something involving women's rights," Derek interrupted as he walked through the kitchen. Opening the fridge door, he pulled a few bottles of beer out. Winking, he half-smiled at them, tightly. "She loves the cause." He said it with a lace of annoyance. Turning around, he left the kitchen, tipping one now opened bottle back and letting it ride down his throat.

Sighing, she glared at his retreating form. "I'd like to be a part of something bigger."

"Position as the first female President hasn't been filled yet," Michael replied.

Grinning, she nodded.

Good answer. Wow, this guy seemed so incredibly perfect. Why hadn't she ever seen him around school? Why couldn't she have met him sooner? Even though he seemed like the perfect guy for her second try at a boyfriend, she just wasn't feeling any chemistry. Instead, she found he seemed like a great candidate for a friend. While she pondered how nice it would be to have a new friend, she found her thoughts wandering from him to a certain guy she had managed to meet at a party just like this.

Turning her attention away from Derek, she tried to focus on Michael again. "So what do you do for fun?" she asked.

"You mean besides taking beautiful girls out to parties?" he queried, smiling.

Laughing, she nodded. "Yes, besides that."

"Honestly, I study almost all the time. Sometimes I wish I could get away from school. I guess this is what it's like, huh?" He waved his hand around at the incredibly crowded house. Numerous students had already bumped into him. She had no idea how many people had already come in to grab a beer.

Girls were grinding themselves against the many excited guys. She could recognize most of the hockey guys in the crowd. Derek had introduced her to them once and she continued to see them at his games when she found herself being dragged by her family. A few of them were still rather nice to her actually, but only when Derek wasn't around.

"It's not always like this. There are lots of other places to go too. The Diner, the movies, the bowling alley. That sounds lame, but they're actually pretty fun places," she said, chuckling.

Laughing with her, he nodded. "Yeah, well maybe you can drag me away from my studies and take me out to those places."

"I'd like that," she said, happily.

"Only if you know how to get there though, I'm terrible at navigating this city. My sister actually made me drive out here before we picked you and Derek up. She said she wouldn't want to be embarrassed by getting lost."

Laughing, Casey shook her head. "Well, I'll be sure to bring a map."

"Smart thinking," he said.

His smile held a hint of laughter in it and Casey couldn't help but notice how very handsome he was, once more. While she found that she wasn't really attracted to him, she felt comfortable talking to him about things. It vaguely reminded her of how she was with Derek in the beginning, sans the thick attraction.

Shaking her head, she tried to forget all about Derek and focus only on Michael. Pulling her mouth into a smile, she tipped her head. "So you're Felicity's brother; what's that like?"

"Torture," he said. His face went from completely serious to a big smile. "The phone never stops ringing, she never stops yelling, and I never stop being told I'm a geek," he admitted with a sigh. "She can be great when she wants to, but mostly she's just mean."

Nodding slowly, Casey kept quiet. She didn't want to insult his sister, even if he seemed to believe she was just as heartless as Casey thought she was. The girl walked around the school like she owned it and made sure that everybody knew it. Of course, she had a rather torrid reputation with the many cool boys at the school, but instead of making her less popular it just upped how she was looked at.

"What's it like being Derek's step sister?" he wondered.

Clearing her throat she shrugged. "He's not so bad," she admitted. "We bug each other, but..." Sighing, she nodded. "You know how it is."

"Yeah," Michael said, before sipping on his pop.

Out of the corner of her eye, Casey noticed her best friend making her way into the kitchen. Waving at her, she hopped down from the counter. "Hey Emily," she said, grinning.

"Hey," she greeted. "I didn't know you'd be here."

"Yeah, I'm here with Michael," she said, holding her hands up to the very handsome boy.

"Hey," he said, holding his hand out for her to shake.

Emily at a loss for words, simply stuttered a hello and held out her hand. Laughing nervously, she smiled. "I'm Emily," she said, sounding rather high pitched.

Grinning, he nodded. "Nice to meet you."

"Yeah," she breathed. "You sure are nice to look at. I mean, nice to meet you too," she said.

Chuckling, Casey couldn't help but notice that Michael looked rather interested in Emily. Shaking her head, Casey knocked back the rest of her pop and decided to take a walk around the party and see if she could find the bathroom.

* * *

Derek sat glumly on a couch while Felicity gossiped with a bunch of girls. Gulping the rest of his beer, he looked around for where he put the third one he had one of his friends grab for him. He finally found it stuck between the cushions of the sofa. Pulling it out, he cracked it open and held it up to his lips. He could hear her laughing in the background with her stupid date. He had been expecting an ugly, smart kid with thick glasses and suspenders; not some male model out of a magazine.

Chugging half the beer, he glared at the bottle, gloomily. He felt Felicity's long nailed fingers thread into his hair. She wasn't paying attention to him, simply staking her claim to the other girls. He could imagine his Casey sitting on the counter, her date reaching out and touching her lightly. He could just see him now, leaning in for a kiss. Closing his eyes, Derek clenched his teeth.

In all the time he had been living with Casey, he had been lucky enough to never have to deal with the jealousy of seeing her with another guy. He wasn't all that surprised, while Casey could have anyone she wanted, he had screwed her over royally. She was probably thinking of becoming a nun after the pain he caused her.

Looks like _Michael_, he even thought his name with disdain, might be the perfect new boyfriend for Casey. She'd forget all about Derek and move on with perfect, tall, smart, good looking _Michael_. And they'd live happily ever after in their perfect house with their perfect children. They'd drive a perfect little van and have a perfect golden retriever. The perfect little family for perfect Casey and _Michael_. Alright, so maybe he was getting a little ahead of himself, but he was half drunk and being impossible.

Downing the rest of his beer, he decided he needed a fourth. He couldn't take the jealousy running through him and if he didn't wash it away, he wasn't sure what he'd do, but it wouldn't be good. Climbing off the couch, he stumbled into the kitchen. Careful to make sure he didn't look stupid, he pulled himself together and rummaged through the fridge for another bottle. Grabbing two, he took them with him back to the couch.

Casey and perfect _Michael_ weren't in the kitchen anymore; Derek didn't want to think of where they might be. He knew that there was no one else to blame but himself and that it wasn't her fault at all. He knew he was the one who had ruined their relationship. It was all his fault that she had left him. It was because of his stupidity that he had broken her heart.

And he had suffered for it. She would never know how much it hurt to know that he had caused her so much pain. He beat himself up over it all the time. After losing her, he became calloused; which is probably why he treated her so badly now. Especially knowing that he could never have her, even if he managed to explain why he made the mistake he made.

It was some time around one in the morning when he realized he was far too drunk to really do anything on his own. He could hear Casey's voice echoing in his mind. When he opened his eyes he saw four of her; he didn't mind though, because she had one beautiful face. She stared at him with a tipped head of half concern and half anger. He had seen this face before; many times actually. He felt her hands on his and then her pulling him up. He could hardly stand, so he wrapped his arms around her limply. Resting his heavy head on her shoulder, he murmured something incoherently.

A male voice joined hers; perfect _Michael _was trying to help. He wanted to show his annoyance with the guy but found he didn't have control over most of his bodily movement. He didn't know where Felicity had run off to, he just remembered her getting off the couch somewhere around his sixth or seventh beer. He didn't really care; he didn't want to come with her in the first place.

He felt Casey's arm around his back and resting on his side, he could smell her sweet hair; vanilla, as always. As they navigated their way out of the house, he felt his feet kick cans and bottles out of the way and step on the fallen chips and cheezies. Nuzzling his head a little more into the crook of her shoulder, he briefly wished he was able to kiss the soft skin of her neck.

Perfect _Michael_ dropped them off at their house, helping them to the door and saying something Derek couldn't hear to Casey. As she fumbled with the keys in the lock, she mumbled under her breath. After locking the door behind them quietly, she was careful bringing him upstairs. She didn't alert their parents or siblings as she half dragged him down the hall to his bedroom. Partly carrying him to his bed, she let him drop down onto the mattress.

After closing the door, she flipped the light on. "Can you undress yourself?" she asked, her hands on her hips.

While he was beginning to get a handle of himself and found he could move his hands again, he still shook his head. Why not let her do it for him? He was lazy to begin with; at least when it came to anything but hockey. Moaning a no, he let his head sloppily shake back and forth.

Sighing, she walked over to him. Reaching out, she took his hands and pulled him up into a sitting position. His head dangled over his knees, staring down at the floor. Her hands curled around the hem of the backs of his two shirts; one long-sleeved white shirt and a dark blue t-shirt. Tugging them up an over his head, she threw them over to the laundry basket. Her fingers ran over his back briefly, making him shiver. Pushing him back, by placing her hand on his forehead, she didn't notice the small smile on his face.

Kneeling by his bed, she pulled his shoes off and wrinkled her nose before quietly putting them by the door. Pulling off his socks, she kept her nose and face far away from them and tossed the pair into the hamper. Reaching up, her hands hovered over the button of his dark blue jeans. Sighing, she undid them and pulled them off quickly. Her fingers had brushed against his stomach, causing him to tense for a moment. He had no doubts that her eyes lingered over his hard stomach. He remembered her running her fingers over his abs in the past; an approving smile riding her lips. Throwing his jeans with the rest of his clothes, she lifted his legs and pushed them onto the bed.

Pulling his dark blanket up and over him, she tucked it in comfortably. "This was fun, huh?" she asked his seemingly asleep face. "Well, I'm glad I could drag you home drunk," she said, shaking her head.

"Yeah, I had fun too Case," he muttered. He could practically see her roll her eyes.

"Night Derek," she said, beginning to pull away.

"Hey Case," he called quietly.

She leaned in to hear him better. "What?"

"I'm sorry," he murmured.

She as surprised at first, but must've thought it was the alcohol talking. "Don't worry about it," she said, shaking her head. "I guess it's been a long week. I mean you actually did homework."

Shaking his head, slowly, he opened his eyes. Leaning up on his shaky arms, he looked at her. "Not for that," he said, staring at her pointedly.

Sighing, she looked away.

"Hey," he asked. Reaching out, he turned her face to him. Running the tip of his thumb over her bottom lip, he looked into her eyes; what was previously eight, had become just two. "I-"

"I don't want to talk about this, Derek," she said, her voice wobbly. "Especially when you're drunk," she said, shaking her head. Her eyes were filling with tears and her lips quivered.

He felt the bed lift as she stood up. Walking to the door, her hand hit the light switch. "Good night," she whispered, before leaving him behind.

"I never got to tell you how sorry I really was," he whispered into the darkness. Leaning back, he fell into his pillows. His inebriated mind was shouting for sleep and he wouldn't deny it any longer. He had let his jealousy get the best of him and now he had to suffer the consequences of drinking it away.

oTBCo


	7. o7o

**Life With Derek:** _The Secret_

o7o

The next morning, Casey made as much noise as naturally possible. She decided to make breakfast for everyone; so while moving around and getting pans out, she clanged them together as much as she could. It was her retribution towards Derek for not only having to take him home after he got completely plastered, but because he suddenly threw their past at her again.

Part of her kind of wanted him to forget about what they had; it would give her more reason to hate him forever. If he hadn't apologized then maybe she could one day move on and look back and know that it was all his fault. Last night, she couldn't take the way he looked at her though; the way his thumb so easily sent shivers down her back as it traced her mouth.

It one short minute, Derek had brought up those old feelings that she had tried so hard to push down and demolish. She wanted to hate him; to hate everything he epitomized. His smug smile, his warm eyes, his delectable body. His easy personality, his calming embrace, his tantalizing kiss. If she could just forget all these things and never have to look at them then maybe all of the left over emotion she still felt for him would die away.

Casey needed him to get angry with her; to yell at her. At least then she could be vicious towards him; to scream at him for being an idiot with just cause. She wouldn't have to worry about her parents wondering why they were fighting or why she was crying. They would know that he had upset her for being his stupid, careless self and that gave her justified reason to rant and yell at him. They didn't know about their past; they didn't know that she had loved him.

After everyone sat down to eat, she heard Derek shuffle into the dining room, his hand lifted, running over his face. He hadn't bothered getting dressed; still wearing just his boxers."What is with all the noise?" he grumbled.

Smiling sweetly, Casey just stared up at him innocently. "What's a matter Derek? Not feeling well?"

Part of her truly enjoyed seeing him look like he was in pain. His head must be throbbing with a morning after hangover. From what she could see, he had downed enough alcohol to keep him buzzing for the entire weekend. However, there was another part of Casey -the forgiving part- that pitied him and his turning stomach.

Glaring at her, Derek slid into a chair and stared down at the food with a sour face. Casey plopped a pile of scrambled eggs down on his plate. Staring down at it, he visibly gulped. Soon after, he was running upstairs to the bathroom.

"What's wrong with Smerek?" Marti asked, her face worried.

Sighing, Casey rolled her eyes. "I'll check on him."

As angry as she was, she couldn't very well let him smother in his own vomit. She wanted to hurt him; she wanted to let him feel this without an ounce of leniency. A small voice in her head told her to rat on him to George and her mom. But she didn't know his reasons for doing what he did; and she knew he must have a reason. Derek didn't get drunk often; it usually took something big to make him drink too much. And it must've been something catastrophic this time, because he'd never had that much beer before.

Surprised at her volunteering to go, George and Nora simply stared at her with wide, shocked eyes. Lizzie glanced at Edwin, her eyebrow raised. He nodded at her before turning back to his food. And Marti, being Marti, simply went back to eating her breakfast.

Taking the stairs slowly, Casey's fist hovered in the air by the door before she knocked. She could hear Derek moaning for whoever it was to go away. Exhaling lowly, she pushed the door open. Walking inside, she found him with his face against the cold tile of the floor. His hands were clutching at the porcelain toilet.

Closing the door behind her, Casey sat down beside him.

"Come to kick me when I'm down?" he asked, his eyes closed.

"No, that's your job," she said.

Reaching out, she pushed his hair off of his clammy forehead. He looked horrible and she couldn't help but wince at her previous actions. His face was pale and drawn and his breathing was heavy and short. He was sweating rather profusely and his legs were brought up near his stomach, signaling that he was not feeling good at all.

Scrambling off the floor, he leaned over the toilet, letting out a round of discoloured chunks. He continued to do so for a rather long time and she became worried about his air supply. She had no idea he'd be going through this much; although, with how much he knocked back, it was necessary to get it all out. He fell back to the floor with a deep groan of agony.

Standing up, she walked to the cabinet behind the mirror. Pulling out a bottle of Tylenol, she poured a couple into her hand. Holding a glass beneath the tap, she filled it with cold water. Kneeling beside him, she wrapped her arm underneath him, sitting him up.

Derek's mouth dropped open, so she placed the pills on his tongue and lifted the cup to his mouth. After a couple gulps, he sighed.

"Are you done puking?" she asked, softly.

"Man, I hope so," he mumbled. His head lolled to the side, pressing against her arm.

Nodding, she helped him up from the floor. Wrapping an arm around his back, she walked him to his bedroom. "Sorry I made so much noise this morning," she said, quietly.

Shaking his head for a moment, he stopped. Lifting a hand to his face, he winced at the pain. "I deserved it," he gritted out.

Helping him into his bed, she lifted the blanket around him. Grabbing the small garbage pale, she pulled the bag out and put the empty bin beside his bed. "I'll check on you later," she said. "If you're feeling better, I'll make you some soup."

Walking out of the room, she came back with a thick throw blanket. Lifting it up to the window, she pinned it to the wall; throwing the room into darkness. Sighing, she made her way towards the door. "I'll tell mom and George that your sick. I won't mention anything about the party."

Before she closed the door, she heard him call out her name. His voice was deep and scratchy from the strain of throwing up. Turning back to him, she waited for him to say something.

"Thank you," he mumbled before turning over and pressing his face into his pillow.

The two words meant more than they might from most people; Derek wasn't one for pleasantries. Closing the door behind her gently, she made her way back downstairs. Sitting down at the table, she looked over at her mom and step dad. "He's really sick," she told them, shaking her head. "There's a flu that's going around. Sam had it last week, so I think he caught it," she lied; for the first time, she didn't feel guilty about it.

"Oh no," Nora said, sighing. "Maybe I should check on him."

Casey held up her hand to stop her mom from leaving. "No, he's laying down. I put his garbage can by him just in case he can't make it to the bathroom. I think he needs to sleep for now."

Pushing her fork into her eggs, she tried to act like nothing was odd about what had happened.

"So Casey," George said. "I didn't hear you and Derek get in last night. Around what time did you make it back from your dates?"

"I'm not sure," she said, honestly. "We went out for dinner and then we caught a late movie." She shrugged through the lie.

Nodding, George seemed to accept her answer.

"What movie?" Nora asked, interested.

"What- uh movie..." she stuttered, trying to think of what was on.

"I think Derek said you guys were going to that new action movie," Edwin spoke up.

"Yeah, no wonder you don't remember it," Lizzie said, rolling her eyes for added effect.

Smiling, Casey went along with it. "Yeah, I seem to remember a lot of... explosions."

"Oh, well that's... nice, I guess." Nora said; not really one for violence. "Did Derek seem alright last night?"

"I think so," Casey said, shrugging. "He seemed to like the movie. We didn't sit together. He was off in some other part of the theater. I only saw him on the way home. You know how the flu is though; it creeps up on you when you least expect it." Deciding to fill her mouth so she wouldn't have to answer any more questions, Casey looked away from them.

Nora and George didn't really suspect anything and continued to eat. Lizzie and Edwin, however, shared a secret look and nod once more. And Marti played with her scrambled eggs, trying to build a picture with them and her hashbrowns.

That afternoon, George and Nora decided to take the kids out to a movie at the mall. Casey offered to stay back and keep an eye on Derek, which they were surprised at but made no comment. Sitting down on the couch, Casey flipped through the channels, looking for anything worth watching. Being a Saturday, there wasn't much but cartoons playing.

Sighing, she sprawled out on the sofa and used the controller to turn the radio on; she kept the volume low, so Derek wouldn't be disturbed. She remembered the way his house used to look, with the lumpy old brown couch that used to occupy the living room. She had been to his house on a couple occasions when they were dating. Obviously his brother, sister, and father had been absent, otherwise they may have remembered seeing her there before. Or not, given just how many girls Derek had brought back to his house to enjoy the old couch.

Part of her mind, remembered their times at his house fondly; and another part truly wanted to hate them. One of the reasons she wanted to revamp the house when she had moved in with her family was because it brought up too many memories for her. She didn't want to walk through the house every day and remember their past together.

"You know, we can still make it to the 7 o'clock show for The Notebook," Casey suggested, smiling.

Snorting, Derek shook his head. "After I shelled out six bucks for this movie, I think we're set for a night at home." He pushed his key into the lock and turned it. "Besides, my family is out at my crazy aunt's for dinner. I'm lucky if this happens once a week." He stared at her pointedly. "One day with just us and the T.V. is not going to kill us." He smirked.

Rolling her eyes playfully, she followed him inside. Seeing as their was no real motherly figure to keep the kids from destroying the place, it was pretty messy and unkempt. Chuckling, she just shook her head. Typical Derek not to have a spotless house; but she didn't really mind.

Closing the door behind them, he led her around the house, showing her where everything is. "This is the kitchen," he said, throwing his arms around as they entered the cute area, even with it's disorderly counters. Smiling, he shrugged. "I could've cleaned before you came over, but I figured that'd be like hiding what my family is really like."

Laughing, she nodded. "Right," she said, drawing out the word. "I bet you were just dying to break out the mop and garbage bags."

Chuckling, he shrugged. "Come on," he said, signaling her to follow. He brought her upstairs, showing her his sister Marti's room first.

Smiling, she stepped inside. "It's very colourful," she said, nodding.

"She's got quite the personality," he explained.

"Well, with a brother like you, how couldn't she?" Her eyes wandered the little girls adorable room. Crossing to her dresser, she found a picture of Derek in a dress holding his sister up over his head. "Care to explain?" she asked, holding the frame up with a grin. "I had no idea what your extra curricular activities entailed."

Laughing nervously, he shook his head. "That's not me," he said. "That's my twin brother who no longer lives here." He tried to snatch the frame from her but she held it out of reach.

"Hmm," she said, nodding. "Yeah, I can see the difference. There's no way you could look that good in pink."

"Fuschia," he corrected, cocking his eyebrow. "And I'll have you know, it went great with my, or his, eyes."

Chuckling, she grinned at him.

Grabbing the picture, he put it back down on his sisters dresser and took her hand. Leading her out, he pointed at Edwin's room. "I'd show you his room, but I don't want you to get lost." Walking to the end, he opened his door. "Now, this room is mine. Don't get any ideas though, I'm not that kind of guy." He smiled.

Laughing, she looked around. "Nice posters," she commented, pointing at the many half naked women adorning his walls.

"Those are also my twin brother's. I should really take them down... and mail them to wherever he is." Derek nodded, trying to suppress a smile. "He's really a troubled kid."

"Oh I can tell," Casey said, with over exaggerated wide eyes. Walking over, she sat down on his bed. Bouncing a little bit, she let her eyes travel around the room again. "Is this your brothers bed too?" she asked.

Sitting down beside her, he shook his head. "No, it's all mine," he said, staring at her mouth.

Turning, she leaned over him. Placing one hand on the other side of his lap, resting on the bed, she let her face hover near his. "Derek," she said in a low voice. Her hair fell over her shoulder, brushing over his cheek.

"Y-ye-" He cleared his throat. "Yes?"

"Is the TV in the living room his? Because I'd like to watch the movie," she said, chuckling. Pulling back, she hopped off the bed and started for downstairs.

Laughing, Derek chased after her. Finding her already at the DVD player, he kneeled down beside her. "Do you know what you're doing?" he asked, amused at her confused expression.

"No, but I'll figure it out," she said, staring at the many different controllers in her hand.

Shaking his head, he grabbed the DVD remote and pressed open. Directing another controller at the TV he turned it to Video. Putting the DVD in, he smirked at her, he enjoying the look of amusement that pulled at her lips. Hopping off the floor, he laid out on the couch.

"Planning on sharing?" she asked, smiling.

Patting the space in front of him, he motioned for her to lay down with him.

Sighing, she complied with his wishes. Lying in front of him, she found herself relaxing against his chest, as their bodies molded together. Derek draped his arm over her stomach; after hitting the Play button, he laced his fingers with hers. His cheek leaned against her head as he watched the movie over her.

Whenever he laughed, she could feel the rumble of his chest against her back. His hand left hers to unconsciously draw circles on her hip. Their legs tangled together at the end of the couch. She felt completely comfortable with him even though they'd only been together for a collective four days and three dates; if she didn't include the night they met.

Reaching to the table, he pulled out a couple of pieces of red licorice. Holding one in front of her face, he motioned for her to eat it. She shook her head but he persisted until she laughed and gave in. While he ate popcorn, he refused to sit up so she constantly found some on her shoulder or cheek. Picking it up, she'd throw it back at him. Chuckling, he'd simply eat it and snuggle in closer to her.

After the movie ended, she rolled over, staring up into his dark brown eyes. His hand moved to rest on her flat stomach. Reaching up, she ran her fingers into his hair. Leaning down, Derek pressed his lips against hers. Running his hand down her lifted arm, he wrapped it around her shoulder. He ran his tongue over her lip, causing her to open her mouth. Sucking on her bottom lip, he grazed his teeth over it teasingly.

The phone ringing caused them to break apart. Derek sighed, resting his forehead against hers. Kissing her quickly once more, he reached over the arm of the couch and picked up the phone. "Hello?" Nuzzling against her shoulder, he pressed his lips against her neck. "Yeah dad," he mumbled. Nibbling at the crevice between her neck and shoulder, he ran his free hand through her hair. "Right, fifteen minutes," he muttered. Moving his mouth up, Derek placed small kisses over her cheek and against the side of her eye. "I'll see you then." He hung up the phone, dropping it on the floor.

Giggling slightly at his warm mouth, Casey tipped her chin down, catching his lips. Her eyes fluttered closed before she realized what time it was. Moaning against his mouth, she pulled back. "I've got to go," she said, sadly. "My mom says I'm not spending enough time with her."

Nodding, he pressed his lips against her shoulder. "Okay," he mumbled. "You go then," he said, moving his mouth over her neck.

Laughing, she caught his face. "Which means you have to stop doing that," she said, smiling.

Leaning in, he caught her mouth swiftly. "Stop what?" he murmured after a moment.

Rolling them over so he was underneath her, she chuckled. "I have to go," she said, trying to sound serious. "Besides, I really only said I'd come out with you because you promised you'd take me to a movie. Here we are, sitting at your house." She sighed as if it was a problem.

"Your sitting," he said. "I'm laying." Leaning up, he wrapped his arms around her waist. Attaching his mouth to her neck again, he laughed against her, sending a shiver down her back. "I happen to think this was much more fun than going out."

Sighing, she nodded. "Yeah," she breathed. Putting her hands down on his shoulders, she pushed him back slightly. "But I still have to go." Climbing off of him, she looked around for where her shoes were. Slipping them on, she stared at him as he fell back down onto the couch. "Come on, Romeo. I can't drive Sam's car to my place alone," she urged.

Rolling off the couch, he slipped his feet into his doc martens. Locking the door behind him, he took her hand and walked to the beat up mustang he had yet to return to his best friend. "What're you doing tomorrow night?" he asked as he backed out of the driveway.

"Hanging out with you," she said simply.

Grinning, he laced their fingers together for the drive out to her place.

Lost in her thoughts, Casey hadn't realized that Derek had plopped down on the couch beside her, his comforter draped around his shoulders. Shaking her head, she looked over at him. He still looked pretty sick and uncomfortable, but his colour had returned. "Uh, hey," she mumbled. She tried to hide her blush as the thoughts of them on the old couch were still fresh in her mind. "Are you hungry?"

Derek shrugged, slightly. "Kind of," he mumbled.

Standing up from the couch, she walked towards the kitchen. "I'll make you some chicken noodle soup," she told him. Turning around, she crossed her arms. "With or without crackers?"

Smiling slightly, he fell over onto the couch, curling into himself. "You know I like lots of crackers," he mumbled.

Nodding, she shrugged. "Just making sure your stomach can handle it."

Sighing, he gave her a small thumbs up. Settling farther into the couch, he pulled his blanket around him tighter.

Walking into the kitchen, she searched around for a pot. Sitting on the counter while the soup heated up, she leaned her head back on the cupboards. As much as she wanted to be her regular mean self to him, he was making it incredibly hard.

In fact, she was making it had on herself too. She just couldn't get him out of her head lately; all she could think about was the past. Memories of them together kept running through her mind. She just worried that their last memories were approaching and she didn't want to live that out again; not even in her head.

Noticing the soup was almost done, she pulled out a pack of soda crackers and crumbled them into the bottom. Getting all of the noodles into the bowl first, she then poured the broth in. Carrying the hot bowl into the living room, she set it down on the table beside him. Usually, she'd make him eat at the table, but she figured she could let it go just this once. Reaching out, she ran her hand over his face, brushing his hair off his eyes, to wake him up.

"Remember the first time you came over?" he asked. His eyes were still closed and his voice hadn't lost it's scratchy sound.

Sometimes, it felt like he could read her mind. Clearing her throat, she shook her head. "Can we please not talk about that?" she asked.

Sighing, his eyes opened slightly. Rolling onto his side, he stared at her. "Are we ever going to talk about it?"

"Eat your soup, Derek," she said, avoiding the question. She began to rise from the floor but his hand wrapped around her wrist.

"Come on, Case," he said, almost pleadingly. Except it was Derek and he never really pleaded. "We can't pretend it never happened."

"That's not true," she said, shrugging her shoulders. "I think we've both done a good job since we moved in together."

"I don't want to keep pretending," he muttered.

"Well, we don't always get what we want," she said quietly.

Pulling away from him, she left the room. Going back to the kitchen, she leaned her head back against the wall. Slipping down, she wrapped her arms around her legs and bit her lip to stop the oncoming tears. Shaking her head and closing her eyes, she begged the emotions to stop pulling her in. She begged Derek, silently, to stop being his old self.

oTBCo


	8. o8o

**Life With Derek:** _The Secret_

o8o

Derek rolled himself off of the couch; staring at the bowl of soup in front of him, he felt even worse. He shouldn't do this to her; he knew how much it hurt for her to remember. He was being selfish in one way; wanting her to forgive him for his mistakes. It was his own fault and she shouldn't forgive him. He couldn't forgive himself for what had happened; so what right did he have to ask her to? He only wanted her to say it was alright so he wouldn't have to carry around the pain that had consumed him for so long.

He could hear her muffled sobs in the kitchen; he'd try and make her feel better, but it would just make things worse. Casey had full reason to shoot him down any time he asked her to understand; to listen to him. She had all right to slap him, scream at him, and sob her heart out. The heart that he had broken into the tiniest of pieces. They weren't always like this; with their unhappiness and anger towards each other. They had a beautiful and perfect relationship; it seemed nothing could bring them down.

Derek, as sap as it sounded, actually thought that Casey was the one girl who was made for him. There was nobody else who compared to her; not her feistiness, her beauty, her intelligence, her humor, her understanding nature, or her love for him. Yes, that's right. He knew that Casey MacDonald had loved him; in fact, she had said those very words to him once and he had said them right back. In all honesty; he had truly meant it. In just a week, he had fallen head over hockey skates in love with her.

It seemed utterly absurd to fall in love so quickly; but it all felt so right between them. When it ended, he couldn't comprehend that it had only been a week. It felt like so much longer; the knew each other so well that it felt like they must've been together for so long. A week was hardly any time at all and yet it had been the best time of his entire life.

After she was gone, he tried to make himself believe that he had never loved her. He tried to make himself think that it was all about lust and getting what he wanted. He had pushed himself as hard as he could to believe that what they had was nothing but a week long fling. Then he broke; he couldn't take his own lie. He fell apart; beating himself up for being the idiot he was and is. He loved her then and he loves her now. There was no way to make it stop; he was stuck with knowing that what he felt for her wasn't going to die away anytime soon.

Derek's stomach growled but he was too tired to lift his arm out to the spoon. He kind of wished Marti was there; she'd feed him, rather messily, but he'd manage to get at least half of it in his mouth. Sighing, he stared at the bowl, willing it to rise off the table and pour into his mouth. Of course, he knew he didn't have telekinetic abilities; it was just incredibly wishful thinking. He considered just letting his head fall forward and letting his mouth suck up what it could; however, not only would his neck not comply, but he had a feeling he might drown in the broth.

Casey's footsteps could be heard in the background. She stood on the other side of the table; her arms were crossed as she stared down at the steaming bowl of soup. "Why haven't you eaten any?"

"Can't move," he mumbled.

Chuckling, she shook her head. Kneeling beside him, she slipped the spoon in and scooped some out. Holding it out to him, she cocked an amused eyebrow.

Shaking his head in a strained manner, he tried not to blush. "I don't want you to feed me," he said, feeling like he was a child.

"How else are you going to get anything into your stomach?" she asked.

He could still see the redness around her beautiful blue eyes from her crying but he knew how hard it was for her to pull herself together. If he had any use of his body, he'd reach out and hug her. Now, he hasn't one for hugging really, but he always loved having her in his arms.

Pushing it closer to his mouth, she let it linger near his nose. The scent was completely making him salivate and his mouth dropped open. She pushed it inside quickly, scooping up the brother the had dripped down his chin.

"It's hot," he said, tipping his head back and talking through his food.

Rolling her eyes, she shook her head. "Baby," she muttered. Scooping up more soup, she made a show of blowing on it just for him. She held it out to his mouth once more and this time he decided not to fight.

He could make hundreds of little comments to irk her, like he would any other day. But in recent times, he'd been thinking so much of their past, that it was getting hard for him to treat her badly any more. Every time she looked at him, her eyes held their familiar twinkle. The side of her mouth curled into a small smile when ever she pushed the spoon into his mouth.

"At least you're not as messy as Marti," she joked, as a cracker slipped and stuck to his chin.

Laughing, he smiled. "I could be," he said, giving her a pointed look.

Shaking her head, she smiled. "No, I think I'd prefer not to do laundry today."

He could feel his stomach warming up with the delicious soup. His mood was starting to rise and he couldn't help but feel a lot more comfortable in his own skin. He'd gone through one incredibly gruesome morning. Though he had fallen into a calming sleep, he had to go through a lot of pain until he was finally visited by the sandman. When he had woken up, he was actually feeling rather better.

Walking down the stairs, he was surprised at how quickly memories seemed to swarm him. All Casey was doing was sitting on the couch and he was bombarded by the first time she had come over. Their third date, really. He had promised to take her out to a movie, but he was more interested in just cuddling with her at home. If any of the guys asked though, he wasn't into cuddling at all. That would really mess up his reputation; Derek Venturi, the cuddler. It just doesn't work.

He had more fun with her that night than he had with any other girl. He never slipped his hands up her shirt and he didn't invite her over solely for the purpose of making out. He wanted to watch a movie and just hold her, which is what he got. On the old couch; the couch he fought to keep a few weeks ago. Derek knew why she wanted to get rid of it; to get rid of the past. But he didn't want to let go yet; he didn't want to give the couch up. It was small piece of their relationship that he wanted to hold on to; tightly.

It still amazed him how helpful she could be; even after all the things he'd done to her, she continued to make sure he was alright. He broke her heart, he got drunk while she out on her perfect date, he was the reason she was stuck home and taking care of him. He'd made a careless mistake and once again, she was paying for it. It was all he seemed to do to her; make mistakes that she would have to clean up. What surprised him was that she continued to do so for him. He'd fall and she'd pick him up. He's make a mess and she'd clean up after him. Why? He could ask but she wouldn't answer, or she'd make something up. He didn't deserve to know and he didn't deserve her.

Someone like _Michael_, even sober he thought his name with disdain, deserved her. Someone who was smart and striving to be something. A guy who worked hard at everything he did and still managed to be charming and gallant. Opening her door for her and offering her what she needed. Stability, honesty, love. _Michael_ could give those to her; he could make her happy. Maybe it was time for Derek to let her move on. To stop trying so hard to revive their past and get back what he'd lost.

"Has Michael called?" Derek asked, suddenly.

Casey stopped her hand, mid air. The soup hovered half way to his mouth. "No. Why would you ask that?"

Derek shrugged. "I just thought, since you guys hit it off so well, you might make plans for the weekend."

She shook her head, moving the spoon into his mouth. "No, I'm hanging out with Sam tonight."

For a moment, he was actually very happy that she wasn't going out with Michael. That happiness was dashed, however, because when the name Sam came out of her mouth, he choked on his soup. Her brow furrowed, and her hands swept up to help him somehow.

"Are you okay?" she asked, concerned.

He nodded, managing to swallow the soup and cough out any discomfort. "Sam?" he asked. "My best friend Sam?"

Casey nodded, slowly. "He wanted me to go to a movie with him," she explained, shrugging. "I didn't see any problem with it."

Derek tried not to scowl; he saw a huge problem with it. Maybe he could handle perfect _Michael_, but he wouldn't be able to get away from the relationship if it were between her and Sam. Maybe the real reason he didn't want her seeing Sam was because he was actually worried that the two of them would work out. That maybe she'd really fall for him. He didn't know Michael, but he had a feeling that anything that happened between them would just be friendship. So in reality, he was just hoping she'd go out with him and find no chemistry. But Sam; he was sure that something might work out there.

"You and Sammy, huh?" he mumbled, trying not to sound sad.

Casey didn't reply, instead she dipped the spoon into the bowl and scooped up the last of the soup. Lifting it to his mouth, she poured it in. Derek stared into her eyes, unaware of just how much hurt radiated off his brown orbs. She was so beautiful; so perfect; so Casey. He couldn't help but hate himself for losing her.

She smiled lightly at the broth that sat on his lip. Reaching out without really thinking she wiped her thumb over his bottom lip. Her hand stilled when she understood what she was doing. Derek saw the reality of her actions dawning in her eyes. Instead of acting like it was nothing and brushing it off, he kissed her thumb. Her eyes flitted up towards his, but instead of waiting for her to comment, he gathered his strength and pulled himself up from the floor.

Taking the steps two at a time, he made his way to his bedroom. Shutting the door behind him roughly, he wished the weekend would end and he could get back to school. At least then he'd have a distraction and wouldn't have to think about her all the time. Casey was in every crevice of his mind; he couldn't stop thinking of her. Of their past; of their present.

Their second to last date had been his favorite. Friday was an inservice day at school and the Carnival had come for the cities enjoyment. They agreed to spend the entire day together; even though their parents wanted them to go as a family. In fact, George was meeting up with his girlfriends family and they were going to spend the day at the fair together. Obviously, this would've been when Derek and Casey found out about each other but they had managed to get out of going with their families.

Derek pulled the blanket around him tightly as he stared up at the roof. That was the last day he had with Casey that had been all about them; that had been incredible. Their last date was to come on Saturday and it had been one huge disaster; ending their relationship swiftly. He didn't want to think of that now; he wanted to think of their best date. He smiled to himself as it all rushed back.

The winter snow had melted away, giving in to the warm spring days. The carnival had come on just the right weekend. The noise and lights all over were an intoxicating happiness; Derek and Casey walked in through the gates with already high spirits. He had paid for them to get bracelets, letting them on any ride they wanted for the entire day. Casey tried to offer to pay for half of everything, but he refused to let her.

Their entwined hands hung comfortably between them. Though he'd never really been one for showing off couplehood and tended to make fun of the small act, he actually enjoyed holding Casey's hand. She pointed out her favorite rides, a huge grin beamed out at him. The laughter and excited voices of people all around them was loud but just made the experience more fun.

Derek hoped he wouldn't run into his dad or his brother at all while they were there. He didn't want to meet his new girlfriend or her two daughters. And he wasn't sure he wanted to introduce Casey to his dad or siblings yet either. Edwin always looked up to him as if he was the best dude ever. Meaning girlfriends were non-existent; playing the field was a must. Plus, he had no idea how to explain the weird nature of his little sister Marti; who, last time he checked, thought she was a cat.

Casey turned to him, her body close to his and her hand holding his side. "We have to go on the Ring of Fire," she said excitedly.

Laughing, he ran with her as she hurried towards the line that was quickly shortening as everyone climbed on. Being a guy, and very brave outwardly, he tried not to show his apprehension as they took their seats and strapped themselves in. The cage clamped down above their heads. He looked to his side at a very confident and happy Casey and tried to smile. She took his hand, holding it tightly.

The ride was fast; making its way upside down and looping backwards and forwards. He could hear the people around him screaming and Casey shouting joyfully. At first, he felt his stomach drop out, but after a moment, he found he really loved the ride. It was scary but that was the great thing about it.

After the hopped off, he grinned wildly at her. His feet were rather shaky beneath him, but he managed to walk just fine. They walked around the park for a moment, talking about how much fun Derek had on the first ride; seeing as he'd never tried it before. He loved seeing how happy she was as they walked around together.

Excited that he had enjoyed the first ride, she excitedly pointed at 1001 Nachts. He watched as the massive car began to swing back and forth gaining height each pass. With every swing, the car got higher and higher. When it reached the top, it paused for a moment. And then, without warning, it would come flying down one side and twist round and round until it stopped again and went back the other way. He could hear the many passengers screaming, both out of fear and excitement.

Deciding he wasn't going to back down, no matter what the ride, he joined her in the line. Like the last one, he was fairly worried in the beginning. But seeing her sitting beside him, made him feel at ease. To his left, a girl was sitting with her two friends. One of them, a short brunette, already looked sick.

"I'm going to piss myself," the red headed friend said.

Laughing, the blonde girl shook her head. "You'll be fine. As long as you avoid wherever it is I puke."

"Aim away!" The red head shouted.

"I don't want to do this," the brunette called out. "I want to get off."

"It's a little late," the red head said, as they began to swing.

Laughing, Derek looked back at Casey.

Her eyes scanned the crowd around them before coming back to him. "Scared?" she asked.

"Not at all," he lied, smiling.

"Liar," she said, chuckling.

"Well, you're not sitting beside the puking, peeing, terrified trio," he whispered conspiratorially.

Laughing, she clutched his hand as the ride gained speed. "You'll be fine," she said. Her eyes gave her away though, she was slightly scared too.

"Let's take a break and get something to eat after this," he offered.

Nodding her head, she screamed as they began to descending down one side. As they reached the bottom her scream turned into a loud laugh. Joining her, Derek couldn't remember having so much fun at the carnival ever before.

As they ran off the platform, Derek took her hand and guided her towards the concession stands. Buying her a corn dog and himself a large cheese burger, a couple of Pepsi's, and fries to share, they sat down at a picnic table. They sat across from each other, the fries in the middle.

Her eyes wandered around excitedly. Derek threw a fry at her to get her attention.

Laughing, she turned back to him. "Sorry, I haven't been to the carnival in ages."

"Really?" he asked. "I come every year."

Shrugging, she sighed. "The last time I was here, my dad took me. I was nine. After he and my mom broke up, neither of them really had time to take us to things like this."

"That sucks," he said, nodding.

"Yeah," she said. "I always hated it, because all these kids would show up at school the following week. They'd brag about how much fun they had and the girls would bring all the stuffies they won at the games area."

Nodding, Derek tried to swallow a particularly large bite of his burger. He offered it to her, but she shook her head. Lifting his eyebrow, he wouldn't let her go until she took a bite.

Shaking her head with a smile, she leaned in and nibbled off a small chunk.

"What was that?" he asked, cocking an eyebrow. "My six year old sister takes bigger bites than that."

Laughing, she wrapped a hand over his as she brought the burger closer to her mouth. Taking a large bite, she laughed and tipped her head back at her actions.

Derek's shoulders shook with laughter as he brought the burger back to his own mouth and matched her large bite. Picking up a fry, she tossed it at him. They started a fry war, wasting the entire container. Grabbing her hand, he pulled her away before someone could get angry about the large mess. Their free hands were wrapped around their colas as they looked around.

Walking to the games area, he stopped at a balloon dart game. "Five bucks, three darts," a guy shouted.

"It's a rip off," Casey warned.

"Hey you there," the game guy shouted to Derek. "Why don't you come and win a prize for the lovely lady. If you pop three balloons with all three darts, then you win this small one here." He held out a little, pink duck. "Now, if you buy six darts for eight bucks, and hit all six balloons, you'll get this stuffie." He held out a large, yellow bear. "And if you buy ten darts, for twelve bucks, then all you have to do, is pop seven and I'll give you this monster." He held out a gigantic orange giraffe.

Turning to Casey, he grinned. "Which one do you want?"

Smiling, she looked around. "Whatever you can win," she said, simply.

Shaking his head, Derek handed over twelve dollars and took the ten darts. Holding one back steadily, he let it go. Pop. Taking the next few, he aimed them specifically. Pop. Pop. Pop. Pop. The next four missed though, because Casey caught his attention and he lost track of where he was aiming.

Holding up the last dart, he shook his head. "Stop doing that," he told her, smiling.

"Doing what?" she asked, innocently.

"That!" he said, laughing.

Currently, she was tugging at her top, lifting it to reveal her stomach and pulling it to show off her chest slightly. There was no real cleavage, but the bare skin was making him lose concentration.

Chuckling, she smiled. "Right. Sorry. Go ahead," she said.

Pulling back, he let the last dart go. Pop. He was able to win her the medium sized yellow teddy bear, which she was very happy with. As they walked through the bustling area of the carnival, Derek's brow furrowed. He could swear he just saw his little sister running around unattended to. Pulling Casey with him, he chased after a small brunette as she wove through the crowd towards a popular kids' ride.

Grabbing her around the waist, just before she made it inside to play, he lifted her up to his face.

"Smerek," she shouted, gleefully. She wrapped her arms around his neck happily.

"Smarti," he said, confused. "Why aren't you with dad and Ed?"

"I wanted to play with the horsies," she said as she pointed up at the Merry Go Round.

"You should've asked Ed to bring you," he told her. Tickling her stomach, he grinned at her. Unable to stay the least big angry with his little sister, he hoisted her up in the air.

Casey just watched them amused, her eyes fell on the classic ride. "Why don't we go on it?" she asked.

"You want to?" Derek asked.

"Smerek?" Marti asked.

"Yeah, Smarti?" he wondered as they walked over to stand in line.

"Who's she?" the little girl asked, pointing to Casey.

Laughing, he realized he hadn't introduced them. "Sorry. Smarti, this is my girlfriend Casey." Turning to her, he nodded. "This is my little sister Marti."

Smiling, she held her hand out for Marti to shake. Taking it, the small girl shook it vigorously. "I'm a kitty cat," she told her, happily.

"Really?" Casey asked, her brows raised. "What's it like to have fur?"

"Itchy," Marti replied, scratching her head.

Laughing, the three of them climbed on the ride. Marti wanted to ride a horse, so Derek put her on one and stood in the center, while Casey rode the one beside them. Holding his sister upright, he watched with amusement as Marti meowed. Turning to Casey, she told her she had to neigh for the horses.

Derek decided she had to be the most understanding girlfriend because she actually complied and neighed whenever Marti looked at her. Laughing, Derek enjoyed the ride more than he would had his sister not shown up. After it ended, he spotted his dad over by the Ferris Wheel. Casey had run into a friend as they walked over, so he told her he'd be right back while he returned the six year old.

"Bye Derek's girlfriend," Marti shouted, waving happily.

"Bye Marti the kitty," Casey called back, smiling.

Derek approached his dad and Edwin as they looked around in front of them frantically. "Lose someone?" Derek asked.

Turning around, George sighed. "Oh god, Marti," he said, taking her. "Where'd you go?" he asked, worried.

"I went to the horsies with Derek and his girlfriend," she said, simply.

"Derek and his what?" Edwin asked, cocking an eyebrow.

"Uh yeah, I gotta go," he said, turning around. "I'll see you guys later."

"Wait," George called out. "I wanted to introduce you to Nora and her daughter."

"I've really gotta go, dad," Derek said, walking backwards. "I'll see you at home tonight."

"We're going to watch a movie at Nora's," his father shouted. "We'll be here late though, so we won't be home until much later."

Nodding, Derek waved his understanding. Loping back over to near the Merry Go Round, he found Casey as her friend was just leaving.

"Hey," she said. "Everything work out?"

"Yep, Marti the cat is now back with my dad," he informed her.

Taking his hand, she ran towards a line of brightly lit up rides, promising to give anyone a head rush. After trying the Zipper, Twin Flip, Spin-Out, Orbiter, Skymaster, and the Tornado, she asked him if he was still good to go on any more.

Nodding, even though he was beginning to feel a bit nauseous, he couldn't help but be encouraged by her smile.

"Great, because I wanted to give the Inverter a try," she said, pointing upwards.

Gulping slightly, he followed her to the ride. Climbing into the leather-like seats, he grimaced as the shoulder restraints came down. Like the 1001 Nachts, it swung back and forth until it reached the top. The only difference was, after it rode around, it turned upside down. He'd actually heard of a few people falling; in fact, last year a girl had fallen from the ride and just been pulled out of the way in time. Otherwise, she would've gone splat underneath the speed and power of the large ride.

As they flew around, Derek screamed and laughed, enjoying every moment. In past years, he was always with Edwin, so he never rode these rides. But Casey had certainly opened his eyes to the much more fun and scary parts of the carnival. While they hung upside down, he laughed at how she looked with her hair looking like it was sticking straight up.

Climbing off the crazy ride, they held on to each other as they swayed around on wobbly feet. Laughing, they fell on the ground outside of the platform. Sitting for a moment, trying to collect themselves, Casey leaned against his side. Sighing, she smiled contentedly.

"One more ride and then I want some donuts," she said.

"Alright, but nothing else crazy," he said. "I don't think I can take one more; I might just puke."

Chuckling, she nodded. They walked over to the simple and classic Ferris Wheel. Slipping into the seats, he wrapped his arm around her shoulder. Night had fallen, so all that was left was the bright lights of the carnival. Sighing, he enjoyed the slow pace of the ride and having her by his side.

When the ride stopped at the top, Casey tipped her head from it's snuggled position on his shoulder. Pressing her lips against his, she ran the palm of her hand down his cheek and wrapped her hand around his neck. Threading his fingers in her hair, his eyes fell closed. Taking her bottom lip in between his, he sucked on it gently.

Even though the ride ended, the carnie didn't even ask if they wanted off. Given that they had bracelets, he simply moved on to the next cart. They rode the one ride, three times. Simply enjoying a sensational and wonderfully long kiss and holding each other tightly.

When it stopped at the top for their last turn on the ride, he held her against his side. His thumb run over the skin of her shoulder. Kissing the top of her head, he sighed. There was nothing better in his life than her. He'd live the same day over and over for the rest of his life.

After getting off the Ferris Wheel, they picked up her donuts and left the park. Sam wasn't planning on going to the carnival, so luckily Derek had the car once again. Their night wasn't over however, given that George and his younger brother and sister were out, he invited Casey over to his house.

Marti, being six years old and having the attention span of a two year old, must not have remembered Casey because she hadn't mentioned anything yet. When she met Casey for the second time, she didn't look effected at all. Which came in handy, since both Casey and Derek decided on their own that they didn't want their parents to know what had happened between them.

Derek heard the door close downstairs and wondered if Casey had gone out on her date with Sam. Sighing, he rolled over and let his mind drift to the time they spent together after the carnival. The perfect ending to a the best the day of his life. Part of him was smiling, but another part was grimacing. He knew what came afterwards; he knew how it ended the next night. Closing his eyes, he wished the anguish of his actions would go away. He didn't want to feel it any more; he couldn't take how bad he felt. He didn't want to love her anymore; it just caused her pain.

oTBCo

**A/N** WOW. Thank you all for your great reviews. I'm really glad that you're enjoying it so far. This one is really long; I had no idea it would get this big. Anyway, please review! I love knowing what you guys think. Thanks! Oh, and I didn't watch the beginning episodes of LWD, so I don't know if Derek and Casey actually met before the wedding. Or what happened there, so I just kind of made it up that everyone but her and Derek met at the carnival. lol. I hope you liked this chapter. Please review.


	9. o9o

**Life With Derek:** _The Secret_

o9o

After watching Derek ascend the stairs, Casey shook herself for doing something so stupid. The new Derek would've made fun of her. He would've made her so angry that she purposely spilled his chicken soup on him. Instead, she was stuck with the old Derek. The sweet one that talked to her like a normal person. The one whose mouth was allowed to press a small kiss against her thumb.

Pacing the living room, she fought for her rational mind to take over. Why were all of these emotions coming back now? Why couldn't they stay buried and locked away in the farthest reaches of her heart? She didn't want him anymore; she couldn't forgive him for what he did. The phone ringing caught her attention, Sam wanted to meet for an earlier show.

Sam was a good guy; he was a sweet, funny, nice boy. He had his moments where he really reminded her of Derek; the one she had fallen in love with. The only difference was that it was highly unlikely that Sam would ever do what Derek had done. Then again, she never thought Derek could do it to her either. In the end, she really didn't feel anything for Sam but friendship.

She had hoped she would find something with him that she had in the beginning with Derek, but there was no luck. There was no substitution for him and part of her wondered if she would be stuck living a life of passionless nonexistence. To have someone like Derek and the feelings he caused, she'd have to accept the moments that he caused the horrendous pain he'd placed on her. She couldn't be in a relationship like that; she couldn't love someone who did that to her.

Casey walked out the door to meet Sam the exact moment George, her mom, and the kids came back from their movie. She tried to smile at them while walking towards the beat up Mustang. Her mom's voice calling out her name, caused her to turn back to them.

"How's Derek feeling?" Nora wondered.

"I think he's going to be okay," Casey said, nodding. "It'll take a little time, but he'll get over it." Her double meaning went unnoticed as she turned back and climbed into Sam's car.

"Hey," he greeted. "So, I was thinking we could get something to eat before we head to the movie."

"Yeah, sure," she said, nodding.

"How's the Diner sound?" he wondered, as he pulled out of the driveway.

Swallowing her emotions, Casey nodded with a stiff smile. "The Diner is great."

Sam turned the radio on as they drove out to the restaurant favorite of most teenagers in the city. Saturday was usually a party hangover day, so there'd probably be very little customers. From personal experience, Casey knew that Sundays were a very busy night for Mac, the owner. As Sam pulled into the parking lot, Casey looked around at the familiar place. She tried to stop the rush of feelings that enveloped her just from looking at it.

Since her and Derek broke up, she avoided the place like a plague. If anyone asked her to go, she made an excuse. When her mom and George offered to take them all out for dinner there, she suddenly wasn't feeling well. She could barely look at the place where they danced, or the booth they sat in for hours sharing their lives with each other.

Sam happened to pick their booth and sat exactly where Derek sat. For a moment, Casey had to shake her head. She could actually see her ex sitting there, smiling and talking. His arms waved around frantically as he told her a story about hockey. Feeling a tight grip on her throat, she tried to push him out of her mind. With no luck, however, as the same guy who served her and Derek happened to serve her and Sam.

Like he did when she was with Derek, his eyes roamed over her appreciatively. Unlike Derek, however, Sam simply ignored him. After taking their orders, he winked at her and scurried off.

Sam looked over the play list for the jukebox. "Do you like anything on here?" he wondered.

Shaking her head, she cleared her throat. "No, not really."

It'd be the last straw if their song came on; she could feel herself shaking in the booth. She had tried her best to avoid places they had been together. She worked hard to get rid of the things that reminded her of him. She revamped the house to destroy the past, she never went to his games or to the rink, and she avoided the Diner at all costs.

"Casey MacDonald, is that you?" asked a familiar, older voice. Mac the owner made his way over. A cheerful smile graced his lips as he pulled a chair up to their table. He was wearing his usual beige pants and white button up shirt. A long, stained white apron covered him. "Why I haven't seen you here in weeks?" he told her, whistling. Scratching his chin, he shook his head. "More than that, even. I think it's been three months or so."

Tipping her head, she smiled. "I've been busy," she lied. "Everything is booming though, I'm sure."

"Always," he agreed. "I'm thinking of getting a few new servers though." He nodded his head to the guy who was waiting on them. "That kid gets a lot of complaints from girls' boyfriends."

Chuckling, Casey nodded. "I can understand why."

"Where's that, uh, boyfriend of yours?" he asked. "He usually comes in here on Sundays, but he missed it the last two weeks."

Running her hand through her hair, she swallowed. "Well- We- I-" She sighed. "He and I broke up," she explained, quietly.

"Oh," Mac said, drawing out the word sadly. "Really? Wow," he said, in disbelief. "I really thought you two were going to last. Silly of me, I guess. I mean, after all, you two are only sixteen." Shaking his head, he sighed. "He talks about you all the time, I just figured you two were still together."

"He does?" she asked, surprised. Her heart swelled for a moment, before she reminded herself not to feel anything. She didn't want to get her hopes up; she wanted to let go of all of this. To let go of him for good.

"Yeah," he said, nodding. "Hangs out at this booth every Sunday. Deluxe burger, large chocolate milkshake. Plays your song and chats with me till closing."

Overwhelmed, Casey didn't know what to say. "I had no idea..."

Standing up, Mac returned the chair to its regular place. "Must say, kid really loved you. I thought for sure you two were going to be this years couple!"

"This years couple?" Casey asked, raising her brows.

Lifting his hand, he pointed to the back. "Every year, I get one couple that makes it. The couple I just know is going to get married and have their happy ending. I thought for sure you and he were it. I carve their names in, along with the year I meet them. Then year they get married, they come back and put it under their names."

"Wow," she said, smiling lightly. "That sounds beautiful."

Sighing, he nodded. "Well, I guess there's still time to find another couple." He began walking away, but she called out to him.

"Have you ever been wrong?" she asked, tipping her head.

Smiling, he shook his head. "Not in thirty years," he told her, smiling.

A buzzing resounded through her body, tingling her every limb. Turning back to Sam, she swallowed. She had completely forgot that he was there. His eyes were staring pointedly at the table and his hands were playing with the music list.

"Sorry about that," she said, shrugging. "I met Mac a few months ago. He's a really nice guy."

"Yeah," Sam said. "It's not a problem." He squirmed uncomfortably.

Their meals were put down in front of them and they ate quietly. Casey's mind had wandered from her again, replaying Derek and the conversation they had until Mac kicked them out. Instead of Sam, she again saw him sitting there. His handsome face and charming smile staring at her perfectly.

That night was filled with laughter and fun. They shared intimate moments of their life; explaining their home lives and what it was like living with only one parent. Derek had gone into detail about his love for hockey and one of his favorite games that he had played. She could still see him beaming at her, the laughter and excitement radiating off his voice. Never before had she ever felt so calm and comfortable with someone. He was the best date she'd ever been with; he was incredible.

Even after all the patrons that loved the Diner had long left, they sat in the booth all alone. Only one light was still lit, right near their table. Mac was in the back going over the books while they chatted it up. He came out and took breaks with them; conversing about the new hockey season and asking them about school and such. Instead of feeling like he was intruding, they invited him into the conversation comfortably.

Casey had felt like they'd been together months instead of days. She got to know everything there was to know about Derek that night and in turn he had learned the same about her. She left nothing unturned, she truly wanted him to know her. It was unusual for her to be so comfortable sharing her life with someone. She reserved that for councillors or her mother, never someone she had just met. Even some of her friends didn't know her as well as Derek did.

When they were finally kicked out, late into the night, Casey didn't even mind that she had school in just a few short hours. She managed to sneak into her condo without her mom noticing and relished in the wonderful night she had. It was one of her favorite dates with him. In reality, she couldn't say any of them, except the last, was bad. She started dating when she was thirteen, which hadn't turned out well. For three years, she went on the most boring, worst dates possible. Then, she met Derek and it was as if a bad date wasn't possible in any way.

Noticing Sam's hand waving in front of her hands, Casey blinked. "I'm sorry what?" she asked, furrowing her brow.

Chuckling, he shrugged. "I was just asking if you were alright, you look kind of dazed."

Nodding, she closed her eyes for a moment. "I'm really sorry Sam. I keep getting caught up in my mind," she explained.

"That's alright," he said, smiling. "I was thinking we should see the new action movie," he said, nodding. "I know it's really not a date movie, but..." His eyes widened as he realized what he'd said; it was obvious he wasn't sure what this was.

"That's fine," she said, deciding not to correct him. She was sure that later, it would become obvious that they were just friends for him. And if it didn't, then she'd have to explain it to him. He was a sweet guy, but he just wasn't... Derek. As much as she wanted to let go of him and move on, she hadn't yet.

After they ate, Sam drove them to the mall to watch "V for Vendetta." The movie was full of raw action and incredible effects. Sam had a blast while Casey couldn't keep her mind or eyes on the movie at all. She felt his arm around her and didn't know what to do; she didn't want to embarrass him by making him move it. He didn't seem to be leaning in for a kiss, which she was very thankful for. She didn't know how she would break it to him if that had happened.

Hours later, she didn't even know the movie had ended until Sam stood up and stretched. Getting out of her seat, she walked out of the theater with him close behind. "Do you want to hang around here for awhile?" he asked. "I wanted to pick up a new CD."

"Sure," she said, smiling.

She didn't really want to spend any more time with him at the mall or anywhere really. She couldn't focus and she was beginning to feel like she was acting rudely towards him. As she roamed the aisles of the music store, she could hear The Used playing on the radio overhead.

_So deep that it didn't even bleed and catch me, Off guard, red handed, Now I'm far from lonely, Asleep I still see you lying next to me, So deep that it didn't even bleed and catch me I..._

Derek owned the CD, so every once in awhile, she'd sneak in and borrow it without him knowing. The song playing happened to be her favorite; relating rather well to her life's state lately. As her hands played over the many CD's in their proper places, she listened intently to the truthful words.

There were moments where she actually felt like she was reliving the past. Sometimes, she swore she could feel his arms around her. At night, she sometimes thought she saw him right there with her. The moon light playing over the plains of his face. Of course, she knew those days were gone; she just couldn't stop herself from remembering and feeling them.

_I need something else, Would someone please just give me, Hit me, knock me out, And let me go back to sleep, I can laugh, All I want inside I still am empty, So deep that it didn't even bleed and catch me I..._

When their relationship ended, she tried to be strong. She pulled out all the stops to try and be the feminist who didn't need a man to be happy. She wanted to be strong enough that she didn't have to cry. She didn't have to feel the overwhelming pain that strained her throat and tugged at her heart. She had given him all of her and he trampled all over it. In one night, it had all fallen apart.

_I'll be just fine, Pretending I'm not, I'm far from lonely, And it's all that I've got, I'll be just fine, Pretending I'm not, I'm far from lonely, And it's all that I've got..._

When she moved into the Venturi house, she kept her head high and her attitude sharp. She wouldn't let him see just how much it pained her to see his face every morning. She wouldn't let herself weep for their relationship. When her mother asked if she was okay, she lied and said she was. When her friends questioned her sad demeanor, she put on a fake smile and acted how the old Casey would. They didn't know that at night, when it got to be too much, she cried her heart into her pillow; a small, yellow teddy bear clutched in her arms.

_I guess, I remember every glance you shot me, Un-harmed, I'm losing weight and some body heat, I squoze so hard, I stopped your heart from beating, So deep that I didn't even scream fuck me, I..._

As hard as she tried to see him as a selfish jerk and her step brother, she couldn't get him out of her head. Everybody thought she was angry at him simply because step siblings fight and hardly ever get along. But they didn't know; they didn't understand how much it hurt. He knew; he knew what he did and still he found it easy to hurt her more. He came up with a nickname for her; he bugged her every moment he could. He gave no sympathy; not for his ex and not for his step sister.

Still though, there were moments where she caught herself staring at him. Remembering the old him and the way his arms fit around her so perfectly. Remembering how his lips felt against her and the way his voice sounded when he was truly happy. And there were times when she caught him looking at her too; with that familiar mischievous twinkle in his eyes. For a brief moment, she would forget what he did and think of him as the Derek she loved. But then it would rush back and she'd have to glare at him.

_So deep that it didn't even bleed and catch me, So deep that I didn't even scream fuck me..._

Casey thought the pain would go away; even if she was living with him. It had to die out one day, didn't it? She couldn't go on living in this pit of anger and despair. She couldn't keep wishing things had turned out differently. Nothing could change what had happened. Nobody could make it better; there was no going back. Derek had ripped her heart out and there was no returning it.

_I'll be just fine, Pretending I'm not, I'm far from lonely, And it's all that I've got, I'll be just fine, Pretending I'm not, I'm far from lonely, And it's all that I've got..._

"Casey?" Sam's voice called out.

Turning around, she smiled at him. He was holding a bag by the cashier. Walking over, she followed him out. Reaching out, he wrapped an arm around her shoulders. She stiffened for a moment, but let him keep his arm there.

Casey assumed Sam didn't remember her at all; he didn't seem to, or at least he hadn't mentioned it. She never really met him formally; Derek always picked the car up and dropped it off without her. She had only seen him around at the party every once in awhile. She thought he might've been at the Diner, but she wasn't sure. While with Derek, she was constantly being introduced to people so it was hard to put the name to the face.

"It's alright," he suddenly said, breaking their silence.

"What is?" she asked, turning her face up to him.

"I know we're just friends," he told her. "I was hoping you'd feel differently, but I get now that we're better suited as friends." Sighing, he shrugged. "Derek would've kicked my ass anyway."

"Don't let him scare you," she said. "He's not as scary as he seems."

"Unless it has to do with someone who really matters to him," Sam told her, stopping. Pulling his arm away, he faced her. Sticking his hands into his pockets, he stared at her seriously.

"I'm just his step sister, it's not like you went on a date with Marti," she said, chuckling.

Smiling lightly, he shook his head. "Hey, I've known Derek for ten years," he reminded. "And he was never happier than he was when he was dating you."

Casey's smile slowly fell away. "Y-you knew?" she asked, surprised.

Nodding, he smiled briefly. "Derek Venturi with an actual girlfriend; it's not something anyone forgot!"

"Ev-everyone kn-knows?" she stuttered, lifting her hand to her face.

Chuckling, he put his hands on her shoulders to calm her. "Casey, come on. You guys were together for a week. Derek's never been with a girl longer than an afternoon." Laughing, he shrugged. "Plus, the house was packed when you guys broke up."

Blushing, she looked down at the ground.

"After all, there was screaming and crying. Derek's never really cried before, so it was pretty hard to believe." His eyes widened as he shook his head in remembrance.

"Everybody must think we're pretty weird then. Now that we're step siblings," she said, shaking her head. Her eyes were beginning to burn and her throat was closing off.

"You guys met before your parents married," he reminded. "Nobody thought it was weird; they just wondered when you were going to get him back."

"Get him back?" Casey reiterated, her brow fusing together.

"We gave up after a month or so though," he said, shrugging. "I mean," he sighed. "You were the best thing that happened to him. For years, all I heard him talk about was playing the field. He never wanted to settle down; he didn't want just one steady girlfriend. It was crazy, but you changed him over night." Shaking his head in wonder, he laughed. "He even played hockey better; which, believe me, is a hard thing to do. I mean the guy was already a pro."

Chuckling, she shook her head. Her tears slipped down her cheeks, making her smile waver.

Reaching out, Sam wiped her tears away. "I know he made the stupidest mistake, but he really loved you, Casey."

"That doesn't erase it, Sam," she said, shaking her head.

"I know it doesn't." He nodded, frowning. "I really wish things had turned out differently for you two." Smiling, he wrapped his arm back around her shoulder. "You guys really fit up on that Diner wall." Rubbing her shoulder, he walked her back to the car.

Pulling into the driveway, Sam decided to walk her to the door. Halfway up the walk, she turned around and hugged him. "I had fun," she mumbled into his chest.

Smiling, he nodded. "Even though you cried?"

"Cry? Me," she said, shaking her head. Sniffling, she smiled. "Thank you," she told him.

"Any time," he said, running his hand over her shoulder. "I'll talk to you later."

Nodding, she turned back to the door. For a moment, she was sure she saw Derek looking out the window. He probably got the wrong idea from their interaction, but she wasn't about to set him straight. Sam had given her an interesting insight, but it didn't change things.

Walking inside, she made her way up the stairs. Lying down on her bed, she sighed sadly. Her face still felt funny from her crying and her throat was rather raw. Grabbing her borrowed The Used CD from Derek from off her stereo, she put in her discman, and let it play loudly in her ears.

_Close my eyes and move to the back of my mind, Where worries are washed out to sea, See the changes, people's faces blurred out, Like the sun spots or raindrops_

_Now all those feelings, those yesterdays feelings will all be lost in time but today I've wasted away for today is on my mind  
_  
_Left the only worries I had in my hands, Away from the light in my eyes, Holding tight and try not to hide how I feel, 'Cause feelings mean nothing now  
_  
_All those feelings, those yesterdays feelings will all be lost in time, but today I've wasted away for today is on my mind, (yeah today is on my mind) _

Now I can't care to worry, I'm feeling so lonely, Breaking apart all this love in my heart

Close my eyes and move to the back of my mind, Where feelings mean nothing now

All those feelings, those yesterdays feelings will all be lost in time (all be lost in time)  
But today I've wasted away for today is on my mind, for today is on my mind, yeah today is on my mind

_Now I can't care to worry, I'm feeling so lonely, Breaking apart all this love in my heart_

Rolling over, she pulled the yellow teddy bear out from under her pillow. Holding it tightly, she let it absorb her tears. She was so tired of crying for him; so tired of missing him.

oTBCo

_A/N__ Thank you for the great reviews. I may post again this evening, or perhaps tomorrow. I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Please review, I like to know what you think._


	10. o10o

**Warning:** _Likely considered_ **M**_ for sexual situations._

**Life With Derek:**_ The Secret_

o10o

So that was it then; his best friend was dating his ex. As he paced his bedroom, he had the strong urge to put another hole in his wall. Overwhelmed with jealousy and pain, Derek tore his room apart. Locking the door, he blasted his music and eagerly tore everything from his walls. The posters, the pictures, the blanket blocking out the light. Shouting loudly, he was barely drowned out by his music.

He could feel his angry tears pouring down his face. It wasn't often that Derek cried; in fact, it had happened a collective of three times. The first time was when his mother had told him that she was moving out and wouldn't be seeing him very often. He was a young boy and didn't understand why she didn't want him anymore. He fought with his inner self for years to try and understand what he did wrong and how he could be a better son. After years of putting himself forward for everything, he found she wasn't going to return no matter what he did. So he quit trying in school, stopped cleaning up the house, and fell into being lazy and unfeeling.

The second time was the night Casey had broken up with him; he hated that night and chose never to bring it up. His friends knew not to speak of it; they never spoke of the night they saw him running down the stairs with red eyes and a choked up throat. Even when it happened, people were too surprised to do anything.

And lastly, the third time was this moment now. All because he realized it was really over, that she had finally moved on. She had found someone who wouldn't hurt her like he did. She had let herself care again; for a guy who could really love her. But he wasn't ready to let her go; he couldn't get past his feelings. As hard as he tried to push them away and forget about them; he couldn't.

She was stuck in him; in every single part of him. He couldn't breathe without thinking of her; he couldn't close his eyes without seeing her face. Every moment, all he wanted was her. Three months had passed and still he was stuck loving her and paying for his mistake. It never ended; it was just one huge circle that kept hurting.

Every Sunday, he went to their Diner. He sat in that booth and ordered his meal. He listened to their song and he chatted it up with Mac. The old guy would always ask how Casey was and Derek just didn't have it in him to say they'd broken up. He'd go on about how she was doing at school and what was new in her life.

Every girl he ever kissed since, he imagined was her. Every girl he touched, he thought of Casey's curves. Every time he got into Sam's car, he remembered their dates. Whenever he practiced with the guys at the rink, his eyes wandered to the place he seated her, blindly hoping she'd be sitting there. Nights that he had big games, he searched the crowds for her; finding her nowhere. Every time he went to a party at Sam's house, his eyes wandered to the kitchen; looking for the tall brunette, who easily ignored his patented smile.

His room was an erratic mess. He could hardly walk any where from what he'd done. The walls held chunks of poster still stuck to the thumb tacks. His mattress was askew, half lying on the floor. His chair was tipped over, while luckily the computer and its desk were still intact. His laundry basked had been thrown over, spilling the clothes Casey had carefully put away for cleaning.

Falling to his knees, his eyes roamed the room. He could see her still; like a movie that wouldn't stop. He could see her walking through the room, her mouth pulled into a smile. Her eyes glittering with laughter and happiness. The old Casey; the one that loved him.

His chest heaved as he relived their second to last night together. After the carnival, when they had the whole house to themselves again. Tugging at his hair, he wanted to just forget about her. He wanted to pretend he didn't love her anymore; that he never did. He could hear her voice in his ears now; it's sweet melody teasing his senses. Closing his eyes, he inhaled the past.

Pulling the car into the driveway, he turned it off and hopped out of the vehicle. Walking around the Mustang, Casey popped another sugary, hot donut into her mouth. Smiling, she licked the brown sugar off her lip.

"For someone who's all about eating more healthily, you sure are inhaling those donuts," Derek commented, wrapping an arm around her waist and pulling her closer.

Leaning her head against his shoulder, she chuckled. "You're just jealous because I'm not sharing," she said, her brows rose knowingly.

"If I had known you were going to hog the whole bag, I would've bought myself one," he said, laughing.

Smiling, she shrugged. "I told you the 'two for 5$' was a good deal," she reminded.

"The bag was pretty big, I thought we'd share," he said, grinning.

"Well you obviously underestimated my love for Carnival donuts," she said, laughing.

"Obviously," he said, managing to snatch one out of the bag and quickly stuff it in his mouth.

Casey gaped at him. "Hey!" she exclaimed, putting her hands on her hips.

Leaning in, he pressed his lips against hers for a quick kiss. "It's okay, I forgive you," he mumbled.

Rolling her eyes, she kept the bag out of his reach.

Unlocking the door, he walked inside and kicked his shoes off. Following his actions, Casey closed the door behind him. "I see you've really spruced the place up since I was last here," she said, smiling.

Turning around, he grinned. "I'm glad you noticed. I couldn't let that pizza box sit there forever." Taking her hand, he led her upstairs. "I want you to hear my new CD," he told her.

"Well if I have no choice," she said, not minding at all.

Leaving his door open, he kneeled beside his CD stand and rifled through it for awhile. He heard her plop down on his bed with a contented sigh. Pulling out random CD's, he knocked one to the ground.

Reaching over, Casey picked it up. "You have Norah Jones?" she asked, surprised.

Turning his head, he stared at the thin, black CD case. "No, I burned it for you," he said. "I kept forgetting to grab it though."

"Uh huh, sure," she said, chuckling.

Rolling his eyes, he leaned over and opened the case. On the back of the paper slipped into it, there was a simple message. "For Case, because her voice is angelic, reminding me of you. Love Derek."

Staring at the writing for a moment, she bit her lip.

"Is it the nickname?" he asked, confused. "I like it. I think it works. If you don't like it, then I'll only call you it in private." Chuckling, he put his hands on her knees to get her attention.

Looking into his eyes, she shook her head. "No. I like it."

"Good," he said, staring at her strangely. "Are you alright?"

"Huh?" Sighing, she smiled. "Yeah, uh, I'm fine. I just- Why don't we listen to it?" Climbing off the bed, she put the CD into the stereo. Walking back, she found Derek sprawled out over his bed.

"Do you still kind of feel like you're spinning?" he wondered. "Why do all the rides go around in circles?"

"Because it's fun," she said, shrugging.

She sat down by his side, so he lifted a hand, pulling her to lay down beside him. Turning his head, he stared into her eyes. For a moment, he was caught up in how beautiful she looked. Her hair was windswept from all the rides, so it fell down across her cheeks in waves. Her blue eyes stayed connected with his, unwavering.

Leaning in, he pressed his lips against hers. Lifting his hand, he ran it down her soft cheek. His fingers threaded into her hair, holding her close. The rest of her body rolled closer to him; he could feel the heat of her against his chest. His heart was racing as he ran his hand down her side, resting on her thigh.

One of her hands was wrapped around his neck, the tips of her fingers played with the ends of his hair. Her other hand was pressed against his chest, slightly holding his shirt in its grasp. Her legs reached out, the top one slipped between his.

Derek broke away from her mouth, in need of air. Moving across her face, he pressed feverish kisses against her heated skin. Finding her supple neck, he sucked on the crevice between her throat and shoulder. Running his free hand through her hair, he found he wanted to be closer; only there as no space left to occupy, as he had already consumed what little area had separated them.

He'd never really felt this before; this emotion built up in his chest. Every other time he was like this with a girl, it was really only about his satisfaction. He didn't care how they felt or what they were thinking. He didn't know if they thought something was going to come out of their excursions. He did, however, know that he wanted to be with Casey for much longer than a night or a fleeting moment.

Pulling back, he stared down at her face. Running his thumb over her cheek, slowly, he stared into her eyes searchingly. She was everything he could ever strive to be; she was everything he could ever love. Love; an interesting term in his mind. He had never considered the emotion before; it sullied his name as a playboy.

Looking at her though; seeing the small smile tugging at her lips; he knew. Seven days, eight nights; four dates. It all happened so quickly; without warning. She had swept into his life suddenly and he had the feeling that he never wanted her to leave. He could answer any possible question about her; he knew her that well. He could explain what it meant when she rolled her eyes; if she was annoyed, or found what they had said childish but funny. He could gauge her reaction by the ring of her laughter. And he could melt at the sight of her smile.

Casey was beautiful; the most stunning girl he'd ever had the chance to know, let alone kiss. She was intelligent; much more so than him, and likely most of his teachers. She was witty, sarcastic, and could take him on in verbal sparring any day. She made him happier than he felt in years; happier than anyone could ever make him. He dreamt of her every night; he couldn't wait to be with her again. Being near her, was intoxicating.

Leaning in, he pressed his lips against her again. "Casey," he murmured.

Running her hand through his hair, she let her palm rest against his jaw. Her eyes seemed to soften and her mouth curled into a light smile. Looking up at him with those majestic blue eyes, she seemed to see right into his soul. "I love you," she admitted; her voice was a small whisper. Barely audible to the ear and yet it echoed clearly in his mind.

"I love you too," he told her, nodding slightly. And he was never more sure of anything in his life.

He had fallen in love; he didn't think this day would ever come. Part of him had thought that he would go on forever; from girl to girl. He'd never settle down and he'd never let his heart take over. He was too strong for that; too independent to love one girl forever. But there she was; just her. There was no one else who could possibly match her. His first and last love; there would be no other.

Closing her eyes, she leaned in, gently pressing her lips against his. Her tongue ran over his lip; complying, he opened his mouth to receive her. He felt her hands slip under his shirt, jolting him with surprise. Slipping them back out, she pushed at the over-shirt he had on, hanging open. Pulling it off, he tossed it onto the floor. Her hands brought his other shirt halfway up his chest, before she got distracted by his talented mouth.

Smiling against her lips, he pulled back to pull his shirt off. Her fingers danced over his abs, an appreciative smile tugged at her lips. Leaning back down, he ran his rough hands down her soft arms. Staring up at him, she sat up slowly.

"I seem to have you at a disadvantage," she said, staring at his bare chest. Her hands slipped down to the rim of her shirt.

Reaching out, Derek wrapped his hands around hers. "Are you sure?" he asked, staring at her searchingly.

Nodding, she smiled.

Moving with her, he helped take her black top off and dropped it on the carpet. Wrapping a hand around his neck, she leaned back, bringing him with her. Their lips met in a passionate and emotional kiss. Casey's hand ran through his hair, sending shivers down his back. Breaking away from him, she pressed her lips against his neck, sucking and teasing his skin. One of her hands reached down to the top of his jeans.

Derek's eyes flew open as he stared down at her; running a hand over her cheek, he looked at her surprised. He felt her fingers easily pop the button on his pants and slide the zipper down. Reaching down, he stopped her hand. His brow furrowed.

"I want this," she told him, softly.

Kissing the side of her mouth, he placed his forehead against his. "You're sure?" he wondered, slightly worried.

Tipping her chin, she kissed him softly. "I'm sure," she told him. Her hands pushed at his jeans, slipping them down his legs. The music sounded a little louder, suddenly. Blending in with their soft noises.

Come away with me in the night, Come away with me, And I will write you a song

Reaching down tentatively, his hand run over the button of her jeans. Brushing against the skin of her stomach, he felt her shiver. Slowly undoing her pants, he leaned up and slipped them down her legs. He kept his eyes on her, wondering if she was going to stop him. Dropping her jeans on the floor, he let his eyes travel over her perfect body.

Her hand lifted out to him; taking it, he laced their fingers. Pressing his body against hers, he moved his mouth over her shoulders and across her neck. Kissing down her torso, his lips lingered over the areas that made her smile. She shivered and giggled under his warm mouth. Running the tips of his fingers up her curvy sides, he pressed his mouth against her bellybutton.

Never having done this before, he wasn't sure what to do. Following whether or not something was good by how she reacted, he simply paid attention to what she enjoyed. Sitting up, he looked around the room for a moment. Standing up, he held up hand to her. "Don't move," he said, staring at her pointedly.

Chuckling, she nodded.

Come away with me on a bus, Come away with me where they can't tempt us, With their lies

Hurrying down the hall, Derek looked around his dad's room for what he needed. Coming back, he put three candles around the room and lit them. Walking to the door, he closed it and turned off the light. Walking back to the bed, he was surprised to see her look around adoringly.

"First time is supposed to be special, right?" he asked, smiling nervously.

Looking back at him, she tipped her head. "What about you?" she wondered. "Is this your first time?"

Nodding slowly, he looked away. "Not all of my reputation was true."

Her hand wrapped around his chin, turning his face back to her. "I know that," she said. "You're much more incredible than anything they say." Her voice was soft and sweet.

I want to walk with you, On a cloudy day, In fields where the yellow grass grows, knee high, So won't you try to come

Drawing him down to her, Casey kept her eyes locked on his. The candle light threw shadows over them both, darkening part of her face and lighting up her eyes. Pressing his lips against hers, Derek ran his fingers down her sides, resting on her hips. Shedding each other of the last of their clothes, Derek stared into her eyes.

Running a hand down his cheek, she brushed her thumb over his lip. "Make love to me," she whispered. Catching her lips with his, he glided into her slowly. She winced slightly, gasping against his mouth. His heart was beating erratically and his eyes stared at her worried.

Kissing the side of his mouth, she tightened her grip on his hair for a moment. Wrapping an arm around his neck, she stared at him before nodding. Lifting a hand, he threaded his fingers with hers. He pressed his lips against the crease of her mouth, kissing away her discomfort.

Come away with me and we'll kiss, On a mountain top, Come away with me, And I'll never stop loving you

He moved inside of her slowly, trying his best to keep her from feeling any pain. She held him closely, but not too tightly. Running his lips over her face, he relished in the feelings rushing through him. When her pain subsided, Casey kissed him back with equal intensity. Her nails bit into his back with painful pleasure, drawing their way down his skin.

Derek's free hand traced the curves of her sensual body; holding all of the more intimate places before replacing his palm with his warm mouth. Her legs were smooth against his; she sometimes wrapped one around his. Biting her lip through a wave of pleasure, Derek took her lip between his.

As the end approached, he felt her let out a shaky gasp. Clutching at him; he covered her mouth with a deep and loving kiss. She moaned into his mouth, loudly, as they both shuddered against the explosion of delight making its way through their bodies. He collapsed on top of her, his body exhausted.

Her hand ran through his damp hair, he placed his cheek against her chest. His hand cupped her side, below her breast. His thumb ran circles over her moist skin. He could hear her racing heart, beating rapidly. Her chest rose and fell with each breath, heavily.

"Did you really mean it?" he asked, quietly.

Tipping her head down to him, she nodded. Her eyes were falling closed; tired from their time together. "I really love you," she whispered.

Tipping his head up, he brushed his lips over hers. "I meant it too," he told her seriously. "Don't ever doubt it."

"Never," she promised, shaking her head.

And I want to wake up with the rain, Falling on a tin roof, While I'm safe there in your arms, So all I ask is for you, To come away with me in the night, Come away with me

She fell asleep shortly after; Derek held her closely, listening to her heart slow to a normal pace. His dad and brother came home some time around one in the morning, but Derek locked his door. Early the next morning, before the sun had risen, he drove her home. Standing in front of her door, she kissed him deeply. Sneaking into her house, she promised to see him at the game that night.

Derek drove home, still buzzing from the nights events. Everything seemed so perfect; him and Casey were working out famously. Nothing could tear them apart; nothing could ruin what they had. Climbing back into his bed, he could still smell her vanilla scent on the pillows.

He had given everything for her; he had changed his playboy ways to be with just her. He had until their last night anyway. The night he made his mistake; the night he threw it all away. Life couldn't be any better for him, so he had to destroy it. He hadn't set out to ruin it, but it happened all the same. He couldn't change it and he couldn't take it back. She wouldn't accept an apology and she probably shouldn't.

Derek couldn't go on wanting her when she clearly deserved and wanted someone else. He had wasted three months wishing she would come back to him; forgive him and take him back. He couldn't give up on her just yet; he hadn't even spoken to her about what he'd done. He had to tell her; he had to explain. He resolved to finally get it all out and if she rejected him than that was it. He'd let her move on and he'd force himself to stop loving her.

oTBCo

**A/N**_ Hey. I hope you enjoyed this chapter. The next one will likely be the big mistake he made. I hope to update again very soon. Please review, I'd love to know you think of it. Thanks_.


	11. o11o

**Life With Derek:**_ The Secret_

o11o

Casey paced her bedroom, wringing her hands. While on the way back from the Mall, Sam had invited her to come to the party he was hosting that night. She hadn't been to one of his parties since her and Derek had their very public fight and broke up. Closing her eyes, she sighed. Unable to see where she was going, she stubbed her toe on her bed. Screeching, she hopped around on one foot. She could practically hear Derek's voice in her head; "_Klutzilla strikes again_."

Shaking her head, she bit her lip. Sam was her friend too, she should be able to go to his party. Her and Derek had been over for three months, she needed to let it go. Nothing was going to change between them; she wasn't entirely sure she wanted it to. If she kept on hating him and treating him like how she was, then she wouldn't have to face her real feelings.

It would be fun; she could relax a bit. She'd been on overdrive with all of her school work. Emily would probably be there, and hey she could invite Michael along. He'd probably really like to see Em again; they hit it off pretty well at the last party. Making her decision, she reached for the phone. Dialing up Michael, she felt her stomach turn as it rang.

"Hello," a familiar female voice asked.

"Hi," Casey said, shortly. "Is Michael there?"

Sighing, Felicity could be heard banging on a door. "Open up, some girl wants to talk to you. I'm waiting for an important call, so make it quick."

There was some rustling before Michael's sweet voice answered. "Hello?" He sounded somewhat confused but interested.

"Hey," she said, smiling. "It's Casey. From-"

"I remember," he interrupted, sounding happy. "How are you?"

"I'm alright. You?" Her stomach was beginning to feel more at ease. Michael was such a simple and easy going guy, that her nerves just calmed.

"Pretty good. I was just studying for classes," he explained, sighing. It was a clear sign that he obviously didn't wan to be stuck in the house with his school work. And since Casey had previously offered to bring him out more and show him the better part of relaxing from studies, she found this was the perfect time to start.

"Well, what do you say to getting going for a night?" she wondered.

It was obvious that there was no chemistry between them, but she was more than happy to settle for friendship. It just wasn't time for her to date; there was no one right for her around. She had gone on two dates in two days with two perfect guys; and yet she didn't feel anything. There was no spark, no interest; she saw them as great friends and nothing more. What was wrong with her? Why did she have to fall for the one guy who would break her heart?

"Out where? Bowling Alley? Theater?" he asked, a kidding tone to his voice.

There weren't many great places to go that didn't include drunk kids making out, so it was slim pickings. The Bowling Alley and Theater were fun though; she remembered many a night that her and Emily had thrown their own little mini parties at the Alley. However, this was not going to be one of those nights; it was time for her to face her fears.

Chuckling, she shook her head. "Nope, another party. This one is at my friend Sam's house."

"Oh," he said, slowly.

Noticing his hesitancy, she hurried to say, "Emily will be there."

There was a pause, before his excitement got the best of him. "Really?" he asked, brightening.

"Mm-hmm, I'm sure she'd love to see you again. I promise, it'll be interesting this time," she told him, hopefully.

"Alright, I'd love to go," he agreed, cheerily. "When do you want me to pick you up?"

"Nine is good," she said, smiling. "We'll have fun," she stated; more to herself than him.

"Am I picking Derek up too?" he wondered.

"No," she said, rather quickly. Shaking her head, she sighed. "Uh, I'm sure Sam will pick him up."

"Okay," he said, simply. "Great, I'll see you tonight Casey," he bid her goodbye, before hanging up.

Hitting the end button, Casey nodded. There was no going back now; she would attend Sam's party and she would have a good time. Sighing, her shoulders slouched. Why couldn't she look at the event more brightly? Alright, she knew why. She hated going to Sam's house; she never ventured far. Ever since that night, she stayed near the front door.

Closing her eyes, she wished the images of that night would go away. She didn't want to remember; she didn't want to think of it. Not his crying; not his stuttering apology. She didn't want to think of how much it hurt; how painful it felt, when her heart shattered. Feeling tears slip down the sides of her face, she inhaled sharply.

Sitting up quickly, she shook her head. She was not going to fall back into feel bad for herself. She could do this and she would do it right. Walking to her closet, she searched around for something nice to wear; something she would've worn, had she been going with Derek. Her hands ran through ever shirt she owned, finding nothing. Her eyes widened with realization; turning around, she ran back to her bed and pulled a thin white box out from beneath it. Opening it, she stared down at her evenings dress.

She actually happened to wear it the night Derek had taken her out for their last date. She had bought it especially for him; seeing as it was his big game night. A black, satin halter dress that came across the top of her chest at just the right spot. Thin, black straps wrapped around her neck comfortably. It was form fitting; flaring out, slightly, when it hit her hips and falling to her knees.

Walking to the mirror, she held the dress up against her, admiring its beauty. All at once, the night came back to her. It had started just like this.

_Casey stood in front of the mirror, holding the dress she had bought especially for this night. It cost her a good sum of money, but she wasn't complaining. She knew Derek would love it; she couldn't wait to see him. Undoing her towel from her shower earlier, she slipped the soft fabric over her head. Hearing a knock at her door, she opened it to see her mom._

_Nora gasped; her eyes were wide and a little teary. "Honey, you look absolutely beautiful!"_

_"Thanks," Casey said, a smile widening on her face. Turning around, she signaled to her zipper, asking her mom to do it up for her._

_Nora reached out, pulling up the thin, virtually invisible zipper._

_Casey tied the halter around her neck comfortably, feeling it brush against the bare half of her back._

_Shaking her head, Nora stared at her daughter with loving eyes. "You look so grown up," she said, sighing._

_Grinning, Casey grabbed her black purse from her bed and kissed her mom's cheek. "Chelsea will be hear any minute to pick me up."_

_"Have fun," she called out, waving._

_"I will," Casey told her, before she heard a horn honk and ran outside to see her friend. _

_Waving, she hurried over and slid into the car. "Hey," she said, brightly._

_"Casey," Chelsea said, with her eyes wide with awe. "You look incredible!"_

_"Thanks," she said. Lifting her hand, she stared at her watch. "I hope you're not angry that we have to get there early."_

_Shaking her head, Chelsea pulled her blue and white jeep out of the driveway. "It's no problem, I'll just bug my brother."_

_Casey chuckled. "Do you go to a lot of Sam's games?"_

_Shaking her head, Chelsea kept her eyes carefully on the road. "No, I don't see him that much. That's probably why we fight so much." She sighed, shrugging. "He thinks I should spend more time around the family; that way, we won't be so dysfunctional."_

_"Dysfunctional?" Casey wondered._

_"Yeah, I mean practically all of my sisters are in private school with me and Sam's really the only one going to public school. Our parents fight constantly because my dad thinks his 'little girls' are too rambunctious. But he lets Sam have parties any time he wants! With Derek no less." Sighing with annoyance, she shook her head. "Sam likes and hates it at the same time. He wants his sisters to be at home, but he wants to have his parties whenever."_

_"Oh," Casey said, slowly._

_"I didn't mean to rag on your boyfriend," Chelsea said. "It's just that Derek tends to make the parties more... lively. And Sam never gets in trouble for it, but I do if I'm there."_

_Nodding, Casey didn't know what to say._

_"Whatever," Chelsea said, shrugging. "Let's just have fun tonight."_

_Smiling, Casey nodded._

_Chelsea pulled up in front of the school, there were hardly any vehicles. There was a bus carrying the rival team sitting near the front and the cars belonging to the hockey players. Casey spotted Sam's car and smiled; knowing Derek was there. He had asked her to show up early, so he could see her before the game._

_Walking inside, Chelsea waved that she'd see her in a little while and left to find her brother. Walking around the stands, Casey ventured down to the box where Derek's team would be sitting. Hopping over the side, she leaned over the edge and watched them warm up. The rival team was skating in circles and stretching at the other end of the rink._

_Feeling a chill, Casey pulled her winter jacket a little tighter. There was no way she was going to sit through an entire hockey game in just her dress. Her eyes scanned the area, looking for his number. Spotting the01 on his jersey, she smiled lightly. He skated over to her, clad in all of his hockey gear and still managing to look handsome._

_Pulling his helmet off, he grinned at her. Leaning over the wall, he pressed his lips against hers for a lengthy kiss. Reaching out, she wrapped her arms around his neck. She could feel his gloved hands holding her neck and pulling her closer. Breaking apart for air, she smiled at him._

_Breathing rather heavily, he grinned. "I missed you," he said, shrugging slightly._

_"I saw you just this morning," she reminded._

_"Too long ago," he told her, looking down at her bulky jacket. "Ready for the ice age, or what?"_

_Laughing, she shook her head. "No, but I'm not wearing much underneath."_

_"Really?" he asked, his brows cocking in interest._

_Undoing the jacket, she chuckled as Derek's eyes looked around to see if anyone else was watching. Opening it just enough for him to see, she blushed slightly at his approving eyes. His hands reached out, pulling her near him again. Running his lips over her cheek, he hovered near her ear. She bit her lip, feeling his hot breath over her skin._

_"Stunning," he whispered in his deep voice._

_Shivering slightly, she closed her eyes for a moment, relishing in having him so close._

_"Hey Venturi," one of his team mates called. "Play later, it's time to work."_

_Laughing, Derek leaned back from her. Placing a passionate and shiver-worthy kiss on her lips, he winked and skated backwards for a moment, before turning and rushing over to his team. Slapping the boy who yelled over the head, he continued his warm up._

_Sighing, Casey began buttoning her coat back up. Hearing someone skate closer, she glanced up. A boy she didn't recognize at all, leaned against the wall. His jersey, reading as number one and captain, matched those of the opposing team. Smiling in a way she was sure he thought was charming, he tipped his head at her. "Hey beautiful," he said, winking._

_Cocking her eyebrow, she snorted. "Can I help you?"_

_"What are you doing later?" he asked, grinning._

_"Going somewhere you won't be," she told him, smirking._

_"Ouch," he said, feigning as if he was hurt. "When I wipe the ice with your boyfriend, I'll be sure to tell him you'll be everywhere I am." Winking, he stood up straight. "Especially in my bed."_

_Rolling her eyes, she turned and hopped over the side. "And after he snaps you in two, I'll be sure to have a beer in your memory." Winking just to rub it in, she walked off. __Shaking her head at the idiot, she found Chelsea and sat down to wait for the game to start._

_It wasn't long before the stands were filled with excited fans and parents. Looking around, she smiled as she saw kids holding up signs and banners. "Smash them, Venturi!" and "RED ICE! Go Derek, GO!" were a couple that amused her. It was obvious that the school was very much behind Derek and his team._

_The buzzer went off, signaling the start of the game. Derek, Sam, and a few others took their places. Casey watched as Derek faced off with the boy who bothered her earlier. The puck fell and Derek was quick enough to pass it to Sam. But he didn't let the opposing Captain just skate away, instead he slammed him in the shoulder with enough force to take down three linebackers and skated to catch up to Sam._

_Casey's eyes widened as the rival captain flew backwards and slammed into the ice. The stands erupted with excitement over the act and some even stood up and clapped. Casey was slightly surprised to see Derek react so violently; it seemed unneeded in the very beginning. However, she remembered what the opposing boy had said earlier and wondered if maybe he had made the mistake of actually saying it to Derek._

_Within the first fifteen minutes, Derek and Sam had managed to score three points and the opposing team a pitiful zero. During the first period, Derek had hardly come off the ice the entire time. The only time he had, he'd only been off one or two minutes before he exchanged with someone else and was back on, full force._

_Even though the rival team seemed to be playing rather dirty, they weren't getting in as much trouble as they should. In fact, the nameless captain had already used his stick to trip Sam, Derek, and a few others, a couple times. He hadn't been sent to the penalty box though, which was something the crowd was yelling about._

_Derek seemed to think that the ref was either blind or rooting for the opposing team, so he decided that he was going to start checking them a lot more. Casey watched with wide eyes as Derek slammed a few guys into the walls with a resounding crash. By the end of the second period, the rival team had managed to tie them at 4 to 4._

_Seems not only was the captain a hazard, but so was the rest of the team. Although, the rival captain was the only one going after Derek, it seemed. A few of the other players were getting off with far too much though. Number seven had already grabbed Sam's mask and elbowed him, without penalty. Number twenty three had gone after one of the other players on Derek's team; his kneeing, high sticking, and leg checking went unnoticed by the referee._

_However, if he noticed Derek's team doing anything wrong, they were immediately sent to the box. He hadn't been able to catch Derek though, because he was smart enough to get one of his teammates to distract the ref whenever he smashed into the rival players._

_Skating down the center of the ice, with his teammates blocking players for him, he shot the puck off at a great angle for the goal. However, it was covered when one of the rival players jumped on top of it. A minor infraction of the rules, which usually rewarded a goal or would give Derek's team a penalty shot. However, the ref, being the ass he is, pretended he hadn't noticed._

_By the third round, anybody could see that Derek was getting incredibly pissed off. He was not only screaming at the ref, but at his own players. Walking down the stands, Casey stood by his box. Derek had been removed from the ice for a couple minutes by his coach and was now pacing while he waited to be let back on._

_"Derek," she called out._

_Noticing her, he walked over. "You're letting him get to you," she told him, shaking her head._

_"I know," he growled. Looking down, he glared at the ground._

_Putting her hand under his chin, she lifted his face. "Hey," she said softly. "Your ten times better than that guy. Your ten times better than his whole team," she told him, smiling. "If you let him get to you, he wins. You don't need to play dirty to win this; he's not as good, so he does need to." Shaking her head, she ran her thumb over his cheek. "You have a great team behind you; one that will do anything you say. All you have to do is tell them the plan, and I know you'll win this."_

_Nodding, his face softened._

_"Derek," the coach shouted. "You're back on."'_

_"Win it," she told him, kissing him quickly._

_Slipping his helmet on, he went out onto the ice. Making a circle, Casey could see that he was telling his teammates something. Taking his place, he squared off with the rival captain again. The opposing boy was already poised to attack Derek; too enthralled with the game, Casey didn't even move to her seat for a moment. Seeing Derek's smirk, she felt relieved for a moment._

_The puck dropped and Derek quickly pushed it between the guys legs and was out of the way before he could charge him. Laughing, Derek took the puck down the ice while his rival tried to pull himself up from the ice. Speeding down the rink, Derek shot the puck from the side and scored. The crowd had laughed when the other guy hit the ice and cheered when Derek made the goal._

_Holding his stick up in the air to their excitement, he pointed at Casey and nodded. His silent thanks to her for her encouragement. Clapping, she screamed along with the crowd, happy for him._

_By the fourth round, the two teams were tied at 9 to 9. With all of their cheating, the other team had managed to keep up to Derek's much more thought out scoring. Sam had shot three of the goals, while Derek had wracked up the other six. Every time the rival team shot and scored, the crowd erupted in booing._

_Casey had made her way back up to Chelsea to watch the last period from the stands. Derek, though he probably needed a break, refused to leave the ice. Taking out his best players, including Sam, he began setting out a plan for them. Casey could tell from the way his arms flew around drastically._

_"Who do you think will win?" Chelsea asked, her face pinched with excitement._

_"Derek's team," Casey said, nodding._

_"Are you only saying that because your his girlfriend?" Chelsea wondered._

_Shaking her head, Casey smiled. "I know he will," she said. "He can't lose." Finding it too warm in her jacket, she slipped it off and leaned forward to watch the game intently._

_The crowd was stomping their feet and cheering for Derek. "DER-EK!' They shouted, gleefully. "VEN-TUR-I!" Their feet pounded to the syllables of his name. Clapping resounded through the huge rink and Casey couldn't help but be caught up in the fun of it all._

_Waving to his fans, Derek took his place back with his team. Turning around, he nodded at them to make sure they were ready. There was ten minutes left in the game and Derek was bringing out his last lifeline. Getting the puck, he passed it to number 18, who Casey knew as Brent; from him, it was passed to Sam. Sam managed to keep it away from all of the rival team members, until three charged at him, so he passed it back to number 6._

_The opposing Captain was constantly following Derek, sure that he was going to get the puck any second now. __However, he was wrong, because Derek knew that he'd follow him and since he was really the only big problem, he kept him busy._

_Number six passed it back to Brent, who then passed it to 28, who was way down near their own goal. Since all of the rival hockey players were confused as to why they'd shoot it away from the goal they were close to, they all began skating to number 28. The plan was going perfectly, and 28 managed to pass it to Sam, who was practically right beside the goal and scored it easily. Everybody was on their feet, screaming with joy that Derek's team was now ahead with 10 to 9._

_Off to the side, Casey noticed that the rival captain was pushing Derek in the back. Turning around, Derek shook his head and pushed him back. Taking his helmet off, the rival boy shouted something that was overridden by the crowd. Circling Derek, he began skating away._

_However, Derek wasn't very forgiving. Taking his helmet and gloves off, he threw them down and skated over, grabbing the guy by the back of his shirt. Turning him around, he punched the guy in his mouth with a powerful execution of his fist. __Blood hit the ice quickly from the opposing Captain's mouth. _

_The crowd began to scream, "RED ICE! RED ICE!"_

_Wiping his mouth, the rival captain punched Derek back but didn't have nearly as much effect as Derek had. Punching him in the face again, Derek was drawing a lot of blood. The other boy pushed him back, attempting to knock him over, but Derek was too advanced on his skates to go down. The opposing boy managed to get Derek painfully on the side of his jaw, but Derek continued punching him in the face._

_Casey had her hands over her mouth as she watched the fight go on. Derek, although he was winning, looked worn out and beyond just angry. She had never seen such an explosive fight before and didn't know what she should be doing._

_Finally the ref tore them apart and yelled in Derek's face. "One point," the ref called, pointing at Derek._

_"WHAT?" the stands shouted, angrily. A round of expletives could be heard._

_As the ref left, Derek decided to do one last thing. Pulling his arm back, he slammed his fist into the rival boys jaw, sending him flying down to the ice. Turning around, he skated back and picked up his gloves and helmet. Going back, he leaned down and said something to the bleeding boy before skating back to his team._

_There was only two minutes left on the clock and Derek was getting ready for one last play. Time was still running however, so they had to move quickly. Going back out, he signaled Sam. As they made their way around their own goal, in one line, they fanned out over the ice and quickly skated towards their opponents. Backing up, slightly afraid; the team seemed to kind of cower from the speed and power radiating off of Derek's team. Skating right past them, Sam passed the puck to Brent, who then passed it back to Derek._

_Realizing their mistake, the rival team began chasing them down the ice. A large, burly hockey player was catching up to Derek, who shot the puck off towards the goal and scored. The buzzer went off, both signaling the end of the game and a goal. Derek was slammed into the boards painfully with a loud crash. The glass cracked as the hit it and he slipped down the side to the ice. The large rival player skated off._

_Derek lay on the ice, not moving. People seemed too shocked to react at all. Even his team was surprised to see he wasn't getting up. He was a resilient player and had been checked more times than they could count. Not even the paramedics had reacted yet._

_Coming to her senses and jumping out of her seat, Casey ran down the stands towards the box where his team was standing up, worried. Hopping over the side, she ran across the ice. It was slippery beneath her shoes, causing her to slip a few times, but she managed across. Kneeling down, on the freezing ice, she stared down at his closed eyes. "Derek," she shouted concerned._

_Wincing, he opened his eyes slowly. Groaning, he rolled over slightly._

_"Is your neck okay?" she asked._

_He had hit the boards incredibly hard and she didn't want to do anything if he had any injuries. As worried as she was, she was smart enough not to do something that could potentially cause him more pain._

_"What? Yeah, it's fine," he mumbled._

_Nodding, she reached out and pulled his helmet off._

_Smiling at her slightly, she could still see the pain in the set of his lips. "I won," he stated, laughing slightly._

_Rolling her eyes, she nodded. "Yeah, yeah you did." Sighing, she shook her head. "Are you okay?" she wondered._

_Nodding, he sat up slightly. "I'm fine," he told her. Lifting his arm, he managed to pull himself off the ice. Reaching out, he took her hand and helped her up. Wrapping his arm around her neck, he pulled her close and kissed her cheek. Looking down at her shoes, he chuckled. "How'd you get out here on those?" he wondered._

_Shaking her head, she laughed. "I have no idea." She began slipping and held on to him tightly._

_Wrapping an arm around her back, he bent over and lifted her legs up, making sure to keep the dress covering her. Screeching, she shook her head. "You're hurt," she reminded. "Put me down."_

_"Consider this a congratulations prize," he said, grinning. His pain and once dazed appearance seemed to melt away and he was back to being himself. He ceremoniously skated to the center._

_The crowd shouted happily; standing up, they clapped loudly. His teammates joined him on the ice, slapping his back and waving to the crowd for their victory. Leaning down, he smiled at her before pressing his lips against hers in one very mind-blowing kiss. Casey's hands ran through his hair, ignoring the sweat clinging to it._

_He carried her back to the box while the teams shook hands in a good spirited way and then skated back to find he had to shake the opposing captain's hand. Casey wasn't surprised to see the boy wince as Derek most likely squeezed the hell of his hand. He motioned for her to meet him outside while he got cleaned up._

_Nodding, she left to grab her jacket and waited by Sam's car for him. Waving to Chelsea she told her she'd see her at the party. People poured out of the school to their vehicles and soon Casey was left waiting all alone. Derek had to shower, change and get ready for the party, so she was sure he'd be awhile. As the rival team left, she slouched slightly. Smiling softly to herself, she felt a surge of pride run through her that Derek had won._

_Since he was parked rather close to the front, the opposing team was able to see her. She wondered what they thought of Derek and his team. The cheering and respect the crowd had for him had to be rather painful and hard to hear. Then how comfortable he was going out and acting as if he owned the rink when they won, which was great for him, but must've really rubbed it in for the other team._

_As she contemplated this, she heard footsteps. Smiling, she looked up, hoping it was Derek. Her hopes were dashed as a very beat up captain of the other team stomped towards her with a cocky smile. Leaning against the car, he leered at her. "Hey beautiful," he said, again._

_Rolling her eyes, she snorted. "Shouldn't you be on your way back to wherever it is you crawled out of? I'm sure your pity party is already in full swing."_

_"You're kind of mouthy," he said, raising an eyebrow. "I like that."_

_Pushing him away from her, she glared angrily. "I think you've had enough of a beating tonight, so why don't you run off." She waved her hand at him, motioning for him to shoo._

_"You're little boyfriend has quite the temper," he told her, ignoring her attempt to make him leave._

_"I can tell by your face," she retorted._

_"It's not my fault he can't take a joke. Who would've thought a few comments about his sleazy girlfriend would make him that pissed off?"_

_Her eyes thinned and her mouth stiffened. "What did you just call me?" she asked, stepping forward angrily._

_Laughing, he shrugged. "He didn't like the fact that you wanted me."_

_Snorting, she shook her head. "Wanted you? Don't kid yourself," she told him. "What would I want with a loser?"_

_Pushing her back into the car, almost painfully, he glared down at her. Leaning in, his lips were getting rather close. Disgusted, Casey tried to push him away, but was unable to. "Get off!" she yelled._

_Not a moment too late, his body was off of her and on the ground. Derek was holding him down, pinned to the pavement. His jaw was clenched and his face was twisted into one very scary look of determination. His knee was digging into the guys chest while one hand was wrapped around his neck. The other hand was pulled back in a curled fist. "Don't ever come near her again," he told him, in a deadly tone. "Don't even think about her."_

_Casey put her hands on his sides, a small sign to tell him it was okay. She could feel the tense muscles of his back, flexing beneath her palms. It was obvious that he was incredibly stressed and angry. Casey was slightly scared of his reaction; not really of him, but of what could happen if his temper got the best of him. The other guy wouldn't look too pretty if it were to happen._

_Standing up, Derek glared down at the boy. Putting his hand on the small of Casey's back, he directed her to the passengers seat and jumped in the drivers seat. Revving the engine, he peeled out of the parking lot and sped towards Sam's house. Reaching over tentatively, Casey wrapped her hands around Derek's free one. Lifting it, he kissed her palm and threaded their fingers. The party was in full swing when they arrived and Casey couldn't help but think it would be one very interesting evening._

She was right about that, it had been one very interesting night. It wasn't fun like she had hoped, instead becoming horribly painful for her. After the beginning of the night, she didn't think anything could go bad, but she had been proven wrong. Shaking her head, she willed the thoughts away.

Pulling her dress on, she glanced at the clock; quarter to nine. Sitting down at her desk, she applied a little makeup to her face. Soft, light charcoal eyeshadow gave her eyes a smoky look, along with the mascara she draped her lashes in. Putting on some very pale, tinted pink lip gloss, she grabbed her purse and slipped on a pair of black, strappy heels. Deciding to leave her hair down, the long straight brown strands reached to the middle of her back. Walking through a small spray of her regular vanilla spray, she smiled at the outcome. Sighing, she bid the chill running through her to leave.

Walking down the stairs, she was met with a collection of gasps. Turning her head, she looked at George, Lizzie, Edwin, Marti, and her mother. Smiling lightly, she ran an uncomfortable hand through her hair.

"When did you become a babe?" Edwin wondered, shaking his head in awe.

Lizzie smacked him upside the head and turned to her sister, smiling. "You look really beautiful," she told her.

"Thanks," Casey said, nodding.

"Casey is pretty," Marti shouted gleefully. Running over, she tugged on her hand. "Will you take me to play on the horsies again?"

Casey's eyes flashed for a moment before she knelt beside the little girl. "I think the carnival is coming back soon," she told her quietly. "And I promise I'll take you on the horsies."

"Yay!" Marti yelled, before running upstairs in her purple princess dress and waving her fuzzy, glittering wand.

"Casey," Nora said, smiling. "I haven't seen you wear that dress in-"

"Three months," Derek suddenly interrupted. He stared at her, his eyes full of pain and his mouth turned up in a grimace.

"What?" Nora asked, confused.

"Nothing," Derek mumbled before breaking past them and running upstairs.

"What's wrong with him?" George wondered. Shaking his head, he looked back to Casey. "You do look wonderful," he told her. "Are you going to Sam's too?" he asked. "Derek told me they were having a small get together."

Her smile wavered, but she nodded all the same. "Yeah," she told them. The doorbell rang and Casey was quick to answer it.

Michael stood in all of his handsome and adorable glory.

Feeling a surge of reassurance, she turned to wave goodbye to her mom and George but they walked closer.

"Who's this?" Nora asked, her brows raised high with interest.

Her shoulders slouched, but Casey invited Michael in, hoping neither of them would be embarrassed.

Holding his hand out, he shook both Nora and George's hands. "Good evening, I'm Michael," he introduced himself.

"Uh, hi- Hello, I'm George," her mother's husband said.

"Nice to meet you Michael," Nora said, brightly. "I'm Casey's mother, Nora." Smiling, she winked at Casey in approval. "So you'll be accompanying Casey to Sam's small get together?"

"Yes," Michael replied, comfortably. "I'm sure we'll have a fine evening." It was obvious he'd been around a lot of adults in his life.

"Fine indeed," Derek mocked, from the middle of the stairs. He had changed into a pair of comfortably baggy blue jeans and a black, long sleeved shirt with a baby blue tee over top. Adding product to his hair, he had styled it in a spikey mess. Walking past them, he slipped his feet into his Doc Martens. "See you at the get together," he called out, annoyed. Leaving, he slammed the door behind him.

Casey closed her eyes at his angry behavior and stiffened herself. Calming down when the loud bang of the door had passed, she opened her eyes and smiled meekly at her family. Shrugging, she sighed. Walking to the door, she said goodnight and walked out. Making their way to his car, they started driving towards Sam's house, which she had to give directions to.

"I'm sorry," she told him, quietly. "Derek can be rather unfriendly sometimes." Fiddling with her hands, she stared out the window. She didn't know what Derek's problem was; she put up with his dates all the time.

"When it comes to you, I can see why," he told her.

Her brow furrowed, turning to his she shook her head confused.

"Felicity told me," he explained. "That you and Derek had dated before your parents got together. She said you two were The Couple." He shrugged. "The one girl to reign in the 'playboy' only to have her heart broken," he said, sadly. "Must've been really hard Casey."

Nodding, she shrugged. "I got through it," she said softly. So Sam was right; everybody knew and remembered her relationship with Derek. How was she going to face them all at school? It had been easier when she thought nobody knew. When she thought they believed they were only fighting because they were step siblings.

"No you didn't," he said, understandingly. Pulling up outside of Sam's house, he jumped out and opened her door. Holding his arm out for her to take, she chuckled but wrapped her arm in his. Sighing, he shook his head. "Back to the place it ended," he said, staring at her. "Are you sure you can do this?"

Nodding slowly, she willed her eyes to stop burning. "I can and will do this," she said, confidently.

Walking to the door, she tightened her grip on his arm slightly. Walking in, she felt her breathing pick up and her heart race. Gulping, she looked around the house, feeling it all rush back to her. Closing her eyes for a moment, she told herself she wasn't going to cry.

Spotting Derek with a few of his teammates, she took in his sullen demeanor. Shaking her head, she set her jaw. This night was about her moving on, not about Derek. She wouldn't let herself be sucked in by the past, she had to get through it and move on. Nothing would stop her; nothing would keep her from leaving behind her remorse over her lost relationship. Or so she thought.

oTBCo

* * *

**A/N** _Okay, just laying the ground work for the big secret. Sorry it wasn't in this chapter. It will **DEFINITELY** be the next one. I thought I could fit it in here, but that would be far too long, so sorry! I hope you like it so far and I promise to update very soon. The only reason I waited awhile this time was because I was moving my mom and sister into a new apartment and by the time I got home I was too tired to write. Sorry. Please review._


	12. o12o

**Life With Derek:** _The Secret_

o12o

Derek sat in a circle with a few hockey buddies; a bottle of Molson Canadian was held tightly in his hand. He didn't want to drink tonight, but he figured he'd hold onto it just in case. His friends were discussing next years season with excitement; Derek smiled and nodded when needed, but his mind was elsewhere.

He thought tonight was going to be different; Casey didn't come to these parties anymore. He could understand why after what happened during their last date. Sam had informed him that she was coming though, so he thought he'd get the chance to talk to her; really talk to her about the past. She wasn't willing to listen to him at the house or when he was drunk; but he had to get it all out.

Seeing her dressed up brought back all of the memories; not all good. She had looked so beautiful that night; so wonderfully incredible. Casey had dressed up for him; only him, and he had lapped up the sight of heaven. But when he saw her standing there, he remembered how she had looked in the end. How he had broken her heart after everything they had. And along with that, came his own sadness at knowing he couldn't have her. That he couldn't wrap his arms around her like he used to, or kiss her neck softly in greeting.

Sam had picked him up after he called his house, needing to get away from the sight of her even for just a moment. However, when he came down the stairs he saw Michael. _Perfect Michael_. Derek couldn't feel more jealousy for any other person. He had it all; the looks, the brains, Casey. Seeing him getting along so well with the parents was just irritating and so he offhandedly insulted him and made sure to show his anger by slamming the door as loudly as possible.

Even though he was feeling angry and reckless, he was trying to reign in his emotions; at least for tonight. Date or not; boyfriend or not, he was not going to give up on his previous plan. He would tell her why he did what he did and he would make her understand. There was nothing that would stop him from admitting that he never stopped loving her and yes, he made the biggest mistake of his life.

Glancing across the room, he saw her walk through the door; her arm wrapped in his. Perfect Michael looked down at her reassuringly. It took everything Derek had not to rip the guy away from her and pound him into a mess of unrecognizable nothing. He remembered a feeling like this; but back then, it hadn't been jealousy, it was rage. Number one from the opposing team during his last game; kid was a real mouthpiece and he picked the wrong guy to piss off.

All through Derek's last game, he had to put up with the rival captain's little comments about Casey. Derek had seen the boy try and charm her before the game had started and was completely sure that Case had told him where he could stick it. However, the guy didn't get the picture and enjoyed talking about her to rile Derek up. Of course, Derek had always been good at keeping his cool; but when it came to her, he wasn't so forgiving.

Not only was the irritating boy making lewd remarks about her, but he was totally cheating in Derek's favorite and most prized game. Taking matters into his own hands, given that the ref wasn't doing anything, he made sure to show the annoying boy just how short a fuse he could have. Hockey had a few upsides; one being that Derek was very fit and in shape. Another being that Derek had learned extensively just how hard he could check someone and make sure it was hard for them to get back up.

Now, Derek didn't cheat and he hated it when his game was screwed over like that, but he had no problem with taking the captain down a few notches. It wasn't until the last ten minutes of the game that he had given up on being well behaved. He could hear the words ringing in his mind still; he could see the boy's cocky grin. "_When she's looking up at you from down on her knees, you should know that she's imagining it's me,_" he told Derek.

He knew Casey loved him and he knew that she wouldn't give the guy a second thought. But he hated that the kid would even hint that Casey was some kind of slut. So, he beat the living hell out of him and there was no restraint left in him to stop him from tearing him apart. He didn't even feel it when the boys fist connected with his face, he just kept swinging with all he had in him.

The game had ended well, with his team winning by one point. His victory was nothing compared to the kiss he was treated to from Casey in front of all those watching the game. She had looked terrified when he had been slammed into the wall; understandably so, since he had never been knocked out before. Whoever slammed him was one big guy though and he had hit the glass hard. Waking up to see her face was much better than seeing one of the lights the paramedics always shine in peoples eyes though.

After changing and getting ready for the victory party, he was looking forward to a great night with Casey and his friends. However, luck wasn't on his side, as he walked out to see her being pinned to the car by the guy who just wouldn't get the point. Once again, his boiling rage took him over and he was ready to beat the kid so bad he couldn't walk. He managed to grit out a warning and something told him, he wouldn't be seeing the boy again.

From there, things only got worse. She had tried to reach out to him, to calm him down and be there for him, but he could only manage a weak smile and a kiss on her palm. He wanted her; he'd always want her. But his mind was confused, causing him to do something stupid; something terribly wrong.

Looking around the circle of his friends, it was as if the night was replaying. He had been sitting in this exact spot last time, with a beer hanging from his hand. Glancing across the room, he saw Sam talking to Casey and perfect Michael in a deep conversation with Emily. Staring at the smile on Casey's lips, he swallowed. She looked just like she had three months ago; stunning.

The party was booming when they walked in; he hadn't said much since they left the school and Casey wasn't pushing him. She offered to grab them a couple drinks and he simply nodded. Noticing a few friends waving him over, he crossed the room to sit in a chair by the stairs. His best teammates and closer friends were sitting in a circle discussing the game they had just won.

A few girls adorned the laps of his friends; smiling and giggling. Some of them were actual girlfriends and others were trophies for the night. Were it any time before Casey, he'd have some nameless blonde grinding against him at the moment. However, he had Casey and she wasn't one to position herself on top of him, as if to lay claim. He appreciated that about her though; especially right now.

Across the room, he could see her talking to Chelsea. In her hands were a Molson Canadian and a can of pop. Making a motion like she'd be right back, she crossed the room and handed him his beer. Wrapping his arm around her waist, he pulled her down for moment. Pressing his lips against her neck, he buried his face against her. Inhaling her sweet vanilla scent, he sighed.

"Are you okay?" she asked, running her hand through his hair.

Leaning back, he stared at her. She looked beautiful and concerned; he didn't want to lie to her, but he was sure he just needed to wind down. Kissing her, he ran his hand down her back. Feeling her shiver slightly and respond instantly to his mouth, he smiled lightly. Staring into her eyes, he simply nodded.

Pressing her forehead against his, she kissed the tip of his nose. "I'm going to go see Chelsea," she told him. "Find me later and we'll talk, okay?"

Nodding, his mouth turned up in a half smile.

Walking back over to her friend, she glanced back at him for reassurance.

Nodding slightly, he wrapped his hand around the cap of his beer and twisted it off. Lifting the cold bottle to his mouth, he let the somewhat bitter liquid run over his tongue. Sighing, he leaned forward to hear the conversation going on between his friends.

Whistling appreciatively, Brent grinned at Derek. "The Derek Venturi finally got himself a girlfriend," he said. Shaking his head in awe, he laughed. "Never thought the day would come."

Smiling, Derek simply shrugged. He knew it came as quite the surprise to most people. Even if he'd dated girls for awhile, he'd never really been serious with anyone. Casey was different though; Casey was definitely his and he was comfortable being only hers. "What can I say?" he mumbled, good naturedly.

"You can tell us where you found her," Clay, number seven as Derek recalled, told him, glancing at her. "Wouldn't mind finding myself someone that fine."

Feeling annoyed, Derek tried to cover his stiff appearance. He'd never felt so protective of anyone before and the feeling was overwhelming. When it came to Casey, he felt like he couldn't have anyone come near her; no one male anyway. With all of the girls before her, he didn't care what they did when he wasn't around. But with Casey, he felt like he had to make sure nobody so much as looked at her unless it was absolutely necessary.

"And that body," another boy said, sighing. "I bet she's a real sight without her clothes on."

"Hell, she's a sight with her clothes on."

He had a temper; he knew that; everybody knew that. There were some things of his that nobody messed with. Hockey, his family, his status, and now Casey. They could play on his team, but never challenge his spot. They could bug his little brother in good nature, but never say anything about his family that wasn't great.They could be popular, but never undermine just how much more pull he had in the popular crowd. And they could appreciate Casey, just not to the extent they were now.

In fact, he decided they weren't allowed to look at her, unless it was straight in the eyes. They weren't allowed to comment on her body; ever. They weren't allowed to so much as think of her in a sexual manner, or he'd likely beat them; badly.

Leaning back, Derek clenched his jaw and thinned his eyes.

"Okay," Sam broke though. "Any more comments and we're likely not to have a hockey team next year," he told them, noticing his best friends demeanor.

Glancing back at him, the boys who'd remarked seemed to shrink and gulp.

Smiling weakly, Brent shrugged. "Just admiring what's yours," he said. "We're not stupid enough to try anything. Nobody wants to end up like the captain of that team we demolished tonight."

"Yeah," Clay agreed. "You seriously beat the hell out of that guy."

Nodding, Derek exhaled loudly. "He had it coming," he told them, simply.

"With all of the cheating they were doing, we all should've been fighting out there," Sam said, frowning. "What was up with that ref?"

"Yeah," Brent agreed. "What'd they do? Pay him off?"

As his team went on with their conversation, Derek drifted into his thoughts. He didn't like feeling so on edge when it came to Casey. Why did he have to feel so worried? He knew she wasn't cheating and he was pretty sure nobody would even try hitting on her. It was widely known by now that she was Derek's. He didn't want to call her property; but she belonged with him.

While his mind went through his confused thoughts on why he was so jealous of anyone who so much as walked past her, he began to get angry with himself. He didn't want to be this guy; he didn't want to be possessive. He was used to letting girls do and be with whoever. As long as they came back and paid attention to him, he didn't care who else they were making out with.

Maybe it was because he'd had all of her; remembering the night before a real smile graced his lips. They'd shared one incredible night together that would forever be ingrained in his mind. He could still see her expression; full of passion and love. He could still feel her curves in his hands and feel her hot breath against his skin.

Part of him wanted to leave the party and just enjoy her company at home. His father had his girlfriend over; what was her name again? Dora? Flora? Cora? Hmm, he'd have to ask him again. Casey said her mom was out for the night, so maybe they could go back to her place to get reacquainted.

Catching her staring at him from across the room, she smiled at him and he wondered if she was having the same idea. Winking, he grinned back. Chelsea stepped in front of her, covering her from his sight. Pulling the bottle back up to his lips, he took another swig. Shaking his head, he looked at the girls sitting on the laps around him.

Blondes, brunettes, red heads; all beautiful. Slim waists, perfect chests, suggestive smiles. Were he the old Derek, he would've found this enticing. Even though they were on other boys laps, their eyes still found their way over to him; taking him in approvingly. Boyfriends or not, girls tended to want him.

It could be considered a gift; unless said boyfriends found out and wanted to beat him up. Of course, being, well, him, most guys knew not to start a fight and those who didn't, paid for it dearly. Now that he had Casey though, he really didn't care how much they wanted him or what they were willing to do to bring their popularity status up.

His past had been more simple though; he didn't have these boiling thoughts of anger towards the entire male species. He could relax and languidly kiss any girl that came his way. He rather missed those times; not because he wasn't ready for his girlfriend, but because he was ending a legacy.

The Derek Venturi, hockey captain, notorious ladies man, and one helluva kisser. He had to let go of that now; he had to settle down with just one girl. He had the perfect girl, which worked out great for his first relationship; but that could be the problem. See, Casey is incredible; she's not only beautiful, but she's smart, confidant, fun, and feisty.

While he was changing his ways to be a boyfriend, he was still always going to be known for being a playboy. Everyone would always remember that he had made out with most of the girls in the school and how would that reflect on Casey? She'd know that he wasn't perfect and people would start to wonder why she was wasting her time on him. Why was she with him? She was perfect, so she could have anyone. She should've rejected him the moment she realized who he was and yet she took up with him instead.

He was definitely not good enough for her; hell, he'd kissed every girl sitting in this circle right now. He couldn't deal with the fact that he was jealous and worried about her all the time. He couldn't become the boyfriend she deserved and there would probably always be some looming doubt hanging over her and him that he wasn't as great as she thought. What if she realized he was a waste of time and left him? What would he do then?

Standing up, he made his way upstairs to use the bathroom. The beer had already taken its effect, given that he didn't drink much and had been knocking it back slowly for the last while. One beer never got him drunk but it did make him rather distracted. After relieving himself in the bathroom, he washed his hands and stared at himself in the mirror.

His jaw was rather purple from where he'd been punched but that was the only real damage. He still looked unbelievably hot; if he did say so himself. Laughing, he walked to the door and pulled it open. Bumping straight into a pretty blonde, he mumbled an apology. Feeling a hand on his arm, he turned back.

Biting her lip, she stared at him excitedly. Stepping closer, she pressed her body against hers. "How about a little victory kiss?" she asked, seductively.

Rather hazy and still thinking the worst about his relationship with Casey, he didn't see any harm in one kiss. Standing still, he waited for her to make her move.

Leaning up, the blonde ran her hands into his hair. He couldn't help but think that Casey's hand always felt much better in the position the nameless girls were now. Tipping her chin, she pressed her lips against his slowly. Pulling back, she teased his bottom lip with her teeth. Feeling his back hit a wall, he let her continue with her ministrations over his mouth.

Before long, he realized he was stumbling back into a bedroom. The blonde pushed him down on a bed and straddled his waist. Leaning down, she attached her mouth to his neck. Thoughts of how Casey had kissed him the night before were much more pleasant. He realized that what he was doing was wrong but he didn't stop her. He knew that he should be downstairs with his arms wrapped around his girlfriend, but he didn't leave.

The nameless girls hands ran under his shirt, splaying out over his torso and enjoying the feel. Derek remembered Casey's tentative hands over his stomach and her approving smile as she felt his hard body. The blonde undid his belt and played with the zipper for a moment. He was rather caught up in thinking of the night before and didn't stop her.

Casey was perfect and Derek was not. She was smart, while Derek didn't care about school. She had only kissed three boys; and he had been the only one she had enjoyed. Derek had kissed, touched, fondled, and enjoyed more girls than anyone could count; nameless faces crossed his mind. Casey was faithful to the core, while Derek was letting some blonde suck on his neck.

He didn't want this; he didn't want to be with this girl instead of Casey. He didn't want anyone else but her. He hadn't given any other girl a second glance since he met Casey. Maybe he needed to have this perfect specimen of girl doing this for him to realize that he didn't need it anymore. All he could think of; all he wanted, was Casey. He didn't want what this and many other girls offered anymore. A smile finally formed on his lips; he really had changed.

There was nobody else that he could want but Casey. He wasn't going to cheat on her in the future; he wasn't going to find someone else when he felt like being more intimate. Casey was it for him and it was finally clear. He didn't have to worry about any other guy taking her away; he had no need to feel like he wasn't worth her. They made a great couple and nobody could stop that. There was nobody who would mess that up for them.

Lifting his hands, he placed them on the blonde's arms, aiming to push her away. That's when he caught sight of the worst thing possible. Casey was standing in the doorway, tears slipped down her cheeks silently and her breathing had picked up in pace.

Pushing the blonde off rather roughly, he jumped off the bed. "I can explain," he said, frantically.

Nodding slowly, Casey sighed. "Right," she said, her voice quivering. "You can explain why you willingly had another girl in your lap."

"Casey," he said; her name got caught in his throat.

He could see all of her pain; so vividly plain in front of him. This was it; he had ruined the only thing he really had going for him. He could see her body shaking across from him. He made to walk to her, but she backed away from him. Wincing, he felt a sharp pain in his chest. He had done this; he had hurt her so much she couldn't even be near him.

"Please," he breathed. "Don't do this. Let me explain."

Crossing her arms, she wiped at her tears furiously. "I should've known," she cried. "I thought I could trust you." She inhaled sharply, letting it out in a shaky sob.

"You can," he said, taking another step. "It was a mistake," he tried to explain. "It'll never happen again."

"It never should've happened in the first place," she shouted, loudly. Her tears were still falling but her anger was now very visible. Backing out of the room, she waved her hands in defeat and shook her head. Turning around, she walked away.

"No, Casey," he called out. Redoing his pants, he ran out after her. She was partway down the stairs, when he caught her. Grabbing her arm, he pulled her back. "Please, hear me out," he pleaded.

Pressing her hands into his chest, she knocked him down on to the stairs. "You bastard," she screamed. Her voice was tense and full of pained sadness.

Reaching out, he grabbed on to her waist and tried to pull her closer. He could feel his eyes burning. Why did he have to be so stupid? Why did he have to test himself like this? Why couldn't he trust that he loved her?

Her hands pressed into his shoulders, trying to push him away. "Get off Derek," she sobbed. "Let me go."

"Don't go," he begged, shaking his head. Pressing his cheek against her stomach, he wrapped his arms around her waist. "I'm sorry," he told her. "I didn't mean to."

"Didn't meant to?" she asked incredulously, shaking her head. "You just fell onto the bed and she hopped on top, right?"

"No, but-" Swallowing, he closed his teary eyes. "Casey, can we please just talk this out?"

He could feel her shaking with tears, her body quivered in his grasp. He wanted to take it all back. He wanted to go back in time and instead of coming to the party, they would just go to her house and have their own victory bash. Leaning back, he stared up at her swimming blue eyes.

Her head shook back and forth slowly. "No Derek," she said, softly. Inhaling sharply, she pushed him back. "We're over," she told him.

Shaking his head, he stood up. "Casey," he mumbled, pulling her face close. Pressing his lips against the side of her mouth and down her cheek. Running his mouth over her neck and kissing her shoulder, he wrapped his arms around her waist. "I love you," he told her.

Sobbing, she pushed him back and pulled her hand back. The sting and power behind her striking him made the tears fall down his cheeks. Looking up, he tried to make the tears stop but couldn't. His mouth shook with the words he couldn't say; knowing she wouldn't listen; knowing they were useless. How could he explain why he had done what he had? It was a flimsy and ridiculous excuse.

He was well aware that the entire party was looking at him now and ignored them completely. She descended the stairs but he wasn't giving up. Chasing after her, he reached out for her hand and pulled her back. "We can fix this," he tried. "It was a mistake, I know that."

Nodding, she sighed. "Yeah, Derek. It was a huge mistake," she told him. Warm tears still fell down her red cheeks. "One that you can't fix."

Reaching out for her, he was pushed back again before she fled the house. Chelsea had started the car when the fight started and Casey was able to leave him completely. Standing there, staring at the open door and hearing the car as it left. He knew it was over; he'd never see her again and she'd never forgive him.

His shoulders were tense as his breathing picked up in angry shuddering spasms. His fists curled and uncurled; he was enraged with himself. His stupidity had finally gotten the better of him. Slamming his fist into the wall, he left behind a large, open hold . "FUCK!" he screamed.

He could feel the warmth of blood as it ran down his cut fist. Slamming his hand into the wall a few more times, he felt himself being pulled away by a few of his teammates. Sam's face swam in his vision, asking questions he couldn't hear. A buzzing sound was stuck in his ears as his senses ran on overload. Vaguely, he understood that he was now sitting on the couch. A large bowl of ice water contained his hurt hand.

He didn't speak, he didn't move. He simply let the tears silently mark their trail down his face. His head played out the painful memories of her; her beautiful smile. He remembered their first meeting; here in this very house. He remembered their first date at the rink and how they had started a new tradition with good luck kisses. He remembered the diner, where they had stayed for hours, talking and laughing, dancing and kissing. Memories of them on the couch together should've warmed him but only made him more upset. How she felt against him, her hands wrapped in his on the couch, made it worse.

He had ruined it all; just because he had a few doubts. He didn't believe he was good enough; he worried he'd cheat or hurt her. So, to prove he wouldn't, he did. What kind of logic was that? This was why he wasn't in any advanced courses at school. How did he even make it into the tenth grade?

She was gone now; for good. There was no second chance; there was no going back. She had left him and she had good reason to. He had shattered her heart the very night after he tells her he loves her. She probably didn't even believe him now. She probably thought it was all a ploy for her to sleep with him. How could he do this? How could he hurt her like this?

He ruined himself; ruined her. She'd never forgive him and now he couldn't forgive himself. He had done the only thing that could possibly make her leave him. He had done the one thing he promised himself he wouldn't do. She wasn't like all the other girls; she wasn't someone he just wanted to have fun with. He truly loved her and now he could never be with her again.

Standing up from his chair, he decided to go looking for her. There was no better time than the present and he couldn't simply drown himself in the past. If he wanted things to change, then he'd have to do it himself. She may not be willing to hear him out, but he'd make sure she knew exactly what he felt for her.

Searching the entire bottom floor, he ran into Emily, who surprisingly didn't hit on him at all. Asking where Casey was, he understood that she had gone off somewhere with Michael to talk. Checking the backyard, he found a bunch of kids on the deck drinking and talking, but no Casey. Deciding she might've gone upstairs to use the bathroom, he made his way up.

Sam had locked all of the doors on the top floor so nobody would get into the bedrooms. The only one left open was Chelsea's because she was home and not enjoying the party. Finding the bathroom in use, but by a guy and not Casey, he turned to go back down stairs.

That is, he was going to leave until he saw her smiling face. The only unlocked room held Casey and Michael, sitting on Chelsea's bed, rather closely. His arm was around her, rubbing her arm. Casey was nodding at something, a small smile on her lips. Michael leaned in towards her and Casey turned her face. Their lips met in a soft kiss, causing Derek to wince and stumble back.

His stomach was filled with a sinking feeling and he felt his throat go dry. He really thought that maybe she'd change her mind about everything. That maybe she was only here with Michael as a friend and nothing more. He wanted to believe that lately she had been feeling it too; feeling their old memories flooding back. Gritting his teeth, he didn't know what to do. Suddenly, he wasn't sure he could say what needed to be said.

Casey glanced up, catching him staring at her, hurt. Turning, he left for the stairs. Practically running down them, he made it half way, when he heard her behind him, calling his name. Stopping, he felt her bump into his back. Turning around, he stared at her. His jaw quivered and his eyes began to sting. He wouldn't cry; he wouldn't do this again.

oTBCo

* * *

**A/N** _Sorry it took awhile to update. I was helping my mom move into her new apartment and then my uncle came to visit. I hope you liked this! The big secret concerning why Derek and Casey broke up is finally out! How will it all turn out? Review to find out! Thanks for reading! )_


	13. o13o

**Life With Derek:** _The Secret_

o13o

_What if I wanted to break? Laugh it all off in your face. What would you do?_

Staring at him, Casey felt all rational thought leave her mind. She didn't have to run after him, and now she wished she hadn't. Staring back was his broken face; remnants of whatever it was he was feeling burning in his eyes. He had looked much like this three months ago, on these very steps. Only he had been the one chasing her, not the other way around.

Was she really chasing him? What exactly did she need to say to him? She didn't need to apologize; it was completely her right to kiss whoever she wanted to. He had shattered her into little pieces; he had ripped her heart out and stomped on it. He hadn't cared enough to stop himself from making out with some girl in the room of a house she was currently inside.

After all of his showboating of their relationship -taking her to the rink, dancing in the Diner, kissing her in front of everyone- she was nothing more than another notch on his belt. He probably hadn't even been a virgin that night; he was likely saying it just to put her at ease and make her believe she was special. But to him she wasn't special at all; she was just one more girl to add to the bunch.

If that were the case, why was he so upset then? Shaking her head, she stiffened. She was not going to falter; he was not going to make her feel sorry for this. Even if it was a mistake; even if she hadn't meant to kiss Michael. Clenching her jaw, she looked away from his pained face and swallowed the remaining emotion clogging her throat.

_What if I fell to the floor? Couldn't take all this anymore? What would you do, do, do?_

"Hurts doesn't it?" she stated, rather coldly she thought.

"Dammit Casey," Derek shouted in her face. Though his voice wavered with emotion it was still full of hurt anger.

The once booming party had faltered in its mood, now everyone's interest had turned to the former couple on the stairs; deja vu for them too. The party goers knew not to interfere or make any noise, not unless they wanted to be silenced by Derek, which was never a pretty sight. When he was angry, it was best everyone stay out of his way. Sam's wall was evidence of just how physical Derek could get when enraged and nobody's face wanted to replace the wall as his hitting post.

"You have no right to yell at me," Casey shouted back. "This is all your fault!"

"My fault?" he asked, laughing with scorn. Pointing at himself with both hands, he shook his head indignantly. "I wasn't all over some guy in the upstairs bedroom," he screamed. His face had become darker, both with despair and vehement anger.

"I would hope not; that would just shred your little reputation, wouldn't it?" she accused with annoyance.

"This has nothing to do with my reputation," he told her, loudly.

"It has everything to do with it," she said, glaring. "Everything to do with you has something to do with your reputation," she reminded, vindictively.

"You don't want to talk about it at home, but you're fine yelling about it on the stairs in someone else's house?" he asked, snorting. "That's just rich. I can't get you to talk to me until after I catch you with some guy."

Inhaling deeply, she let it out exasperated. "First of all, you didn't catch me! What I do with anyone else is my business, Derek! Not yours."

Frowning, he glared at her, licking his lips. "Wrong, Case. It's always my business. It always has been and always will."

"No, you're wrong," she told him, lifting an eyebrow. "What I do now has nothing to do with you. Why don't you go make out with some blonde," she screamed, her eyes tearing up.

Casey pictured them again and it made her even angrier knowing that the past still reigned over her so powerfully. She could see it all in her head as if it just finished happening. That stupid smile was on his face as his hands reached up and wrapped around the blonde girl's arm. He didn't look put out with having her there until he realized his girlfriend was standing in the door way.

Casey couldn't believe her eyes. Not once did she think fora moment that Derek would cheat; even after being fed his reputation by Chelsea more times than she could count. She had trusted him, wholly and completely. And there he was; breaking her heart as if it meant nothing.

"You don't even know what happened that night," he said, shaking his head. "You never let me explain!" He shook his head once more, his red-brown hair stayed in perfect place.

"I think I have a pretty good idea of what happened, thanks," she told him, feeling a tear escape her eyes. Reaching up, she brushed it away and continued staring at him through thin eyes. "You just couldn't do it; you couldn't be with one girl. It was too much commitment for the great Derek Venturi," she spat.

Shaking his head, his mouth fell open to respond, but she cut him off, continuing with her tirade.

"Yeah, Der," she mocked, dragging out his nickname and crossing her arms. "Why have one girl when you can have dozens? Why settle for me when you can sleep with every girl who so much as smiles at you? Hell, I'm sure enough of them dropped their skirts just for you, why not let them, right? Who cares if you said you loved me?" she said, icily.

"That's not true," he shouted. His jaw clenched and released, along with his swimming brown eyes that blinked away tears furiously. "You are the only one I've ever made love to; you know that!" he admitted, apparently not caring that the entire party could hear him.

"Yeah, just like you loved me," she said, angrily. "I really believe you," she yelled, sarcastically.

_Come... Break me down... Bury me, bury me. I am finished with you_

"Casey," Michael's voice came from the top of the stairs, warningly.

Turning his acrimonious face upwards, Derek fixed the boy with a dark and rather scary glare. "I'd suggest you don't speak," he told him, viciously. "Unless you don't want to leave here intact!"

"Don't threaten him," Casey shouted. "He didn't do anything wrong!"

"He did everything wrong," Derek yelled, his fists rounding into fists. "Everybody knows; there is not one guy in the entire school who doesn't know you're off limits!"

"What?" Casey asked, glaring.

Sighing, Derek seemed to pull back for a moment. Realizing he had just told her something she wasn't meant to hear, he turned his face away. "Nothing," he said, shortly. "The point is, he wasn't supposed to be anywhere near you."

"You're not allowed to do this," Casey told him, glowering. "I am allowed to date other people, Derek. You can't stop the entire male population from asking me out."

"Wanna bet?" he asked, cocking an eyebrow.

"We're over," she reminded. "You've moved on, so let me do the same!"

"No," he told her.

"It's been three months, Derek!" she growled, her eyes fell closed for a moment. "You have been the worst jerk possible since I moved in."

"I know that," he said, shrugging. "But you don't understand. I couldn't exactly tell my family what happened."

"Why?" she asked, staring at him pointedly. "Because you were supposed to be the playboy? Right? You weren't supposed to be going steady with anyone. And when it came down to it, you weren't." Shaking her head, she shrugged. "For all I know, that was just the time I caught you!"

"I never cheated on you," he said loudly, sighing. "Before that, I mean. And even then, I can explain!" He stared at her searchingly; there was a hope in his eyes.

Shaking her head, she exhaled slowly. "There is no explanation," she told him. "Nothing you say is going to make it okay!"

"Not okay, but maybe you'd understand why I did it," he tried.

"Don't you get it?" she asked, her voice becoming laced with the emotion of the situation. "I don't want to understand," she told him. "I don't want to care about you! I want you to disappear and stop hurting me."

"I never meant to hurt you," he said, hoarsely.

"And you thought what, exactly? That I would just forgive you for being with her?" she asked, her voice hitching. "That I would just accept that you had been with some other girl and let it go?"

Shaking his head vehemently, he stared at her completely serious. "I was never with her. I swear, I was pushing her away when you walked in."

Laughing indignantly, Casey inhaled a sharp and pained breath. "Right, Derek. You were pushing her away. Like I'm going to believe that."

"I was," he told her, nodding. "I don't even know what her name was!" he shouted, as if it made things more clear.

"Like that's stopped you before," Casey shouted, through angry tears.

Derek grimaced, looking away. "I'll admit that I wasn't the perfect boyfriend but I didn't mean for that to happen. I honestly only wanted to be with you."

"But you were with her, and no matter what you say, you can't deny that it happened," Casey reminded, staring him in the eyes seriously. "Why are we even fighting about this?"

"Because you kissed perfect fucking Michael," he reminded, annoyed.

Sighing, Casey looked down for a moment, trying to collect herself. "You know what?" she said, looking up at him; even though she was a step higher than him, he was still taller than her. "Michael and I are friends, that's it. I invited him here as a friend," she explained. "He likes Emily, so I thought it'd be nice for them to hang out."

"And that explains why your faces collided in the bedroom?" he asked, angrily.

"No, and you know I really don't have to explain myself to you, so shut up," she shouted. "Michael and I were talking, about you actually. He was trying to help me through my first night back at Sam's house after what happened last time," she admitted, staring at him with watery eyes. "We didn't mean to kiss, Derek. He was leaning in to kiss my cheek and I turned. It was a complete accident, but I'm glad it happened." Pushing him in the chest, she stepped closer. "Now you know how it feels," she said coldly, brushing past him. His hand on her arm, caused her to stop.

"Alright, so I overreacted when it came to him, but I..." Sighing, he shook his head.

Turning around, Casey stared at him, waiting for an answer. She wasn't completely sure why she was hanging around. She should've left the moment she realized he was angry at all; she didn't have to put up with his irate spurts. Though she'd likely have to hear him when he got home anyway. Her mind was nagging at her, knowingly. Despite how hard she had tried to break away from him, to leave him behind, she just couldn't get past her feelings. But she wasn't going to just bow down and accept what he'd done. He had truly hurt her and she wasn't sure she could forgive him for that.

_What if I wanted to fight? Beg for the rest of my life? What would you do?_

"That night," he started, looking away. "I was messed up; I was just really confused. After that kid from the other team had been bugging me all night about you and then coming back here to hear all my friends going off about you, I just had enough." Shaking his head, he sighed. Lifting his hands, he ran them over his face in frustration. "I was jealous alright, and incredibly pissed off."

"Jealous of what, Derek?" she asked, frowning. "I'm not the one who ended up cheating in the end."

"I know," he said, grunting.

Casey knew this was hard for him; expressing emotion never came easily with Derek. She had known it when they were dating and became even more familiar with it when their parents stuffed them into a living situation that was bound to become chaotic. Though he was open with her during their relationship, she was surprised he was able to tell her he loved her. Now, she wasn't entirely sure he was speaking the truth back then, but at the time she knew it had been hard for him to say.

While it was indescribably hard for him to voice his emotions to just her, it must be excruciating to do it in front of an entire room of people. She wasn't about to give him any leniency though; she'd rather it be in public, she didn't have a reputation to uphold. Perhaps it even meant something for him to be able to say how he really felt publicly; without worrying about what people might think of their idol.

"Look Case, I've never had a girlfriend before you, so what was going on was different for me," he tried to explain.

"One thing you don't do is cheat," she said, scathingly.

"Alright, so I knew that one," he admitted. "But at the time, I was a little distracted."

"By her mouth on your neck?" she asked, cocking her eyebrow.

"No, by you!" he shouted. "God, Casey. You don't what it was like back then!" Shaking his head, he sat down on the stairs, staring her in the eyes. Running his hands into his hair, he sighed. "You were all I had! My dad was dating Nora, so all he did was talk about some new family that I didn't want. Edwin and Marti are just little kid's that do what I tell them to. My friends wanted to get in your pants," he growled, glaring at the floor. "Some guy I didn't even know was making stupid references to sleeping with you. And for the first time in my life I actually cared that other people were interested in the girl I was with," he managed to say, honestly. Laughing in resignation, he shook his head. "And you know what wonderful and stunning revelation I had as I completely raged about any guy that even so much as looked at you?" he asked, staring at her pointedly.

Unable to respond, Casey simply waited for him to continue.

"I realized I wasn't good enough for you," he choked out. Lifting his hand, he rubbed his fingers over his eyes, trying his best not to cry. "You had everything," he told her. A smile broke out over his lips, but it was far too filled with pain to be considered warmly reminiscent. "You were the perfect girl. Intelligent, beautiful, and completely confidant."

"You weren't so bad yourself," Casey said, quietly.

Nodding slowly, Derek looked away. "But my reputation preceded me. Not only was I a complete class-A jerk to you in the end, but I didn't help much when we moved in together."

Sighing, Casey didn't reply. The last three months had been a living nightmare. If she wasn't avoiding Derek because she didn't like the burning feelings she felt around him, then she was distancing herself so she wouldn't be hurt by his insults. He could be one very mean bastard when he put himself into it like he did with her. It was as if all those sweet moments they had were all in her head, and instead she was faced with this complete opposite of the Derek she had fallen in love with.

"I picked on you because I couldn't take being near you," he admitted, snorting in self-pity. "I thought if I could force myself to hate you, I wouldn't have to deal with the fact that I never stopped loving you." His eyes fell closed for a moment.

Staring at him, slightly shocked, Casey didn't know how to respond. In the past three months, she had worked herself far past her limit to try and push away the lingering feelings she had for him. She tried her best to forget just how warm it was in his embrace. She begged herself to stop remembering his sweet smile and warm kiss. But her heart won out over her mind, time and time again. She just couldn't let him go; as hard as she tried, she was stuck loving him.

_You say you wanted more. What are you waiting for? I'm not running from you..._

"I was so worried that one day you were going to realize I wasn't good enough and leave me, that I messed it up before you could." Shaking his head, he wiped at the warm tears under his eyes before anyone else could see them.

Even though Casey was positively shaking, she wanted to reach out and hug him. Suddenly it felt like no time had passed at all and she just wanted to hold him again. To feel him around her, so warm and inviting. To feel his lips against her skin and his arms wrapped around her waist. To sway to their song at the Diner or skate together at the rink. She wished everything hadn't happened; that she could go back and have him like it was before.

Sighing, slowly, he continued with his explanation. "She was just standing there, asking for a kiss," he told her, shrugging. "And I thought, what could it really hurt?" he said it with such an unknowing innocence, that she rather believed he didn't think it could screw everything up. "The next thing I know, we're in a bedroom."

Looking up at her, with red and wet eyes, he sighed shakily. "The entire time, I swear all I could think about was you. How I wanted you to be the one with me or that we'd just gone back to your condo." Shaking his head, he let out a shuddering breath. "And I realized that you were all I wanted, I didn't want to be 'Derek the playboy' anymore. I just wanted to be with you," he told her, quietly.

Letting out a quivering breath, Casey stared at him through blurry eyes.

"But then I saw you standing there; you looked so hurt and I knew that I had done exactly what was expected of me," he told her, clenching his jaw. "I know I can't take that back," he said, softly. "I know I can't make you trust me again and that you'll never love me like you did before." Standing up, he stepped closer to her. "But now you know what happened that night; and I hope you understand that I wasn't doing it simply because I had a rep to hold up." Running his hands down her bare arms, he stared into her eyes.

Casey's breath caught and though she wasn't able to form words, she let him precede with the small but comforting gesture. With him standing so close, Casey couldn't help but inhale the familiar scent only Derek possessed. The warm aroma tickled her senses and though in the past she had tried to figure out exactly what it was that made up the intoxicating fragrance, she hadn't been able to pin point exactly what he did to make it; it was just him.

There had always been something in his dark brown eyes that told her he never truly hated her. When she felt like nothing could get worse, when his hurtful words were at the highest and most painful to hear, all she had to do was look into his eyes and she knew that he was lying. It was hard to decipher for most, when Derek was lying. But if they knew him well enough, they'd know that his eyes said everything about him. They swam with every emotion he so tightly hid from those around him. And in this moment, staring up at him, she knew that he was being completely honest and real with her. He was exposing himself to her with every bit of courage he had left.

_Look in my eyes! You're killing me, killing me! All I wanted was you_

Derek's fingers reached her wrists, his thumbs brushed over her pulse. Feeling her shiver, he smiled lightly. "Because I can never have you," he whispered. Leaning in, Derek captured her lips. Casey's head tipped up, meeting each brush of his warm and perfect mouth. One of his hands lifted, cupping her cheek. The pad of his thumb ran over her skin slowly, making her smile lightly at the tickling sensation.

Pulling back, he closed his eyes for a moment, leaning his forehead against hers.

Casey's eyes fell shut; she let herself embrace these last moments. She knew what came next; tomorrow meant everything would go back to the way it was. No more Derek and Casey, the relationship that some thought would last forever. It was back to Derek and Casey, the step siblings that hate each other.

Placing a soft kiss beneath her eye, Derek sighed against her face. Casey felt his fingers run through her hair, before he brushed his lips over her forehead and pressed his face against the side of hers. "I'll always love you," he told her, softly. "Don't ever doubt that."

For a moment, Casey let herself remember the night they made love. When he admitted he loved her, he later told her he meant it and that she should never doubt him. Before she could say anything, Derek's hands fell away and he fled from the house; from her and all that they had. Closing her eyes, Casey felt a tear fall when the sound of the door closing reached her ears.

After all this time of pushing each other away and pretending they truly hated each other, it was all for nothing. Their feelings hadn't changed in the least; she still loved him and he'd never stop loving her. Despite the fact that he had truly hurt her, she actually understood why he did what he did. She believed him when he said all he could think of was her and that he really wanted to leave behind his past as a player and just be hers. Even though he had made the biggest mistake possible, Casey knew that he had paid for it.

While Casey had believed for so long that Derek had forgotten all about her and was perfectly fine with what happened, it became painfully obvious that he hadn't gotten past any of it. That he too was holding onto it and wishing things were different. His rude and outright mean behavior had only been his way of trying to stop himself from caring about her; just like how she gave the house a make-over to escape the lingering memories.

Casey's heart yearned for a different outcome; she wanted everything to go back to how it was. Back when her life seemed to be going just right; when she found a smile hidden in everything he did. When all it took was hearing his voice to make her feel happy. She couldn't pretend that she hadn't been the happiest she'd ever been with him; it was too hard to fake that her life was better off without him. After she had broken up with him, she wasn't sure she'd ever be able to feel anything but sadness.

When they moved in together, Casey found refuge in ruining anything he cared about. She vowed to get her vengeance and have him completely begging for mercy. Of course, she never got the latter, but she did manage to anger him and take a few things he cared about away. It was one very bitter battle where neither of them really won in the end. A real win would've been to go back and fix the past.

_I tried to be someone else, But nothing seemed to change, I know now, this is who I really am inside_

Running her hand over her face and covering her eyes, Casey tried her best not to sob outright in front of a room of basic strangers. Feeling arms around her, she opened her eyes to see Sam hugging her with a smile of reassurance. Walking her out of the main area, he brought her to the dining room and sat her down.

Sighing, he shook his head. "I have to say, when you two come to my parties, you tend to make things pretty dramatic."

Laughing through her sniffles, Casey wiped at her eyes but found the tears kept coming. "I'm sorry," she said, her voice breaking.

"Don't be," Sam said, shrugging. "I'm glad you two finally talked." Chuckling, he tipped his head. "Well, the first part was mostly yelling, but eventually some important things were said."

Exhaling shakily, Casey shook her head. "Everything is so messed up," she muttered.

"Yeah," Sam agreed, smiling. "But I guess things happen for a reason."

"What possible reason could there be for this?" Casey asked, snorting.

"Well, I don't know," Sam admitted, chuckling. "But I'm sure it'll all turn out in the end."

Wiping at her tears again, Casey stared down at the table for a moment. "What if it doesn't? What if we just go back to being step siblings that hate each other?" she wondered, trying to steady her voice.

"Look, if you don't want that to happen, then you've gotta change it," he told her, simply. "It's not like you're going to face much ridicule, if that's what you're worried about. The entire school, save for the girls who really, really wanted to be Derek's one and only, have been rooting for you to get him back for months!"

Chuckling, Casey shook her head. "Exactly how many girls want to be Derek's _'one and only'_?" she wondered, smiling.

"I haven't taken a poll, but I'd say it's around sixty or seventy percent of the female population at our school," he said, laughing.

"Well I can see this will be easy," she joked.

Sam shrugged. "Even though they'll be angry you've dashed their dreams at taming the_ wild Derek Venturi_, I'm sure they'll all be annoyingly girly about the whole thing," he tried to reassure.

"Annoyingly girly, huh?" she reiterated with a laugh.

"Yep," Sam said, grinning. "So are you going to try and work things out?"

Sighing, Casey's shoulders slumped. Leaning her chin on the kitchen table, she blew a strand of hair off her face. "I don't know, Sam. I mean, our parents would probably... no they'd definitely freak right out!"

"They don't know the whole story though," he reminded. "So it's not like the two of you have some weird incest thing. You two fell in love before your parents got together and even if you had after, you're not blood related," he said, shrugging. "Everybody knows you and Derek belong together, it's just a matter of you realizing its how its supposed to be."

"How can you be so sure?" she wondered.

Standing up, Sam rested a reassuring hand on her shoulder. "Mac hasn't been wrong in thirty years," he said, winking.

_Finally found myself, Fighting for a chance, I know now, this is who I really am_

After Sam left, she was joined by Michael and Emily. Sitting down across from her, they smiled sympathetically.

Sighing, Casey sat up and shrugged. "I'm sorry I ruined the night for you two," she apologized.

"You did promise it would be interesting," Michael reminded. "Can't say I've ever had a more interesting night than this."

Emily smiled. "I'm glad you and Derek finally talked."

"You knew too?" Casey asked, surprised. She was fairly sure that her best friend hadn't known anything about it, especially given how much she talked about Derek.

"Of course I knew. Anything to do with Derek is my business," she said, chuckling. Glancing at Michael, she smiled. "Or it was my business, anyway."

"Why didn't you tell me?" Casey wondered.

"It's not like you came out and told me you and he were together once," the knowing girl replied. "Besides, I figured eventually you'd just come out and admit you loved him. Especially with how much I talked about him. I mean, knowing how close you and he were, it must've driven you crazy!"

"It did," Casey admitted. "It bothered me to know that there were other girls in his life. Not that it could really escape my attention with him parading them around in front of me."

"He was probably just trying to get you off his mind," Michael assured. "It's pretty obvious he's still very much in love with you."

"But do you feel the same way about him?" Emily wondered, tipping her head curiously.

"And are you going to do anything to get back together with him?" Michael queried, cocking an interested eyebrow.

Chuckling, Casey looked away from them. "Since when are you guys so interested in my social life?"

"Since it was broadcasted to our entire grade," Emily replied, grinning a saccharine smile. "Look, Casey, if you love him, then go for it."

"Yeah," Michael agreed. "The guy may have some serious jealousy issues, but it's only because he really cares about you."

"He has a few rage problems too," Casey added. "You should see the holes in his wall."

"Or the one in Sam's wall by the door," Emily said.

"That was from Derek?" Casey asked, frowning.

"Yeah, the night you two broke up. After you left, he beat the crap out of the wall." Sighing, she shook her head in remembrance. "It took five of his teammates to tear him away and then he kind of fell into this silent, dazed mode." Emily lifted her hands in a surprised motion. "Sam kept trying to get him to focus but he was completely out of it. Sam stuck Derek's hand in a bowl of ice water, it was bleeding rather badly." Her face fell in a sad expression of emotion. "A few guys thought he should go to the hospital; I mean, he really didn't look too good. He was crying, which was really not like him. The tears just kept rolling down his face but he wasn't making any noise. The party ended pretty quickly and I guess Sam managed to snap him out of it later."

"I- I-" Casey shook her head, swallowing the emotion in her throat. "I had no idea," she said, quietly.

Sighing, Emily shrugged. "There's no question that Derek loves you. We all know he did something incredibly stupid and that you shouldn't just forgive him after what he did. But like we know that, we also know that he was the happiest he'd even been with you. I should know, I've had a crush on him for many, many years!" she reminded, blushing.

"The only thing that matters now is whether or not you're willing to give it another try with him," Michael said, gently. "Nobody is forcing you to go back to him. I think everybody would understand if nothing happened between you two again." Sighing, he reached out and took her hand. "Forget about what everybody else thinks and figure out what you want." Staring at her, he nodded. "Do you want to be with Derek?"

_Come... Break me down... Break me down! Break me down!_

Casey crept upstairs to her room, able to avoid any questions from her mom or George. Silently changing into her pajamas, she slipped into her bed and stared at the ceiling. There were so many questions running through her mind. She didn't have any answers and part of her was rather scared to know the outcome of her thinking them through.

Did she want to be with Derek? Was she ready to forgive him and give their relationship another chance? Could she face George and Nora? Was she able to explain her and Derek's relationship without making them sound like some absurd problem that their parents had to send them to counseling for? Was she ready to put her heart on the line again?

In sixteen years, Casey's best and worst moments had been shared with Derek. He had lifted her up to the highest of emotions and brought her down to the pits of despair. Mistakes had been made and hearts had been broken. Lives had changed, living arrangements had been altered, and now they were step siblings. But when it came down to whether or not they loved each other, did that matter?

She had given him a chance in the past; when she had known his reputation. They had worked out perfectly, save for his doubts and mistake in judgement. Was she willing to give him another chance, one that could possibly turn out right for both of them? Could she lay her heart on the line once more for Derek? For herself?

_What if I? What if I? Bury me! Bury me!_

oTBCo

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_**A/N**_ _Hey everybody! Okay, so there will likely be fifteen chapters; I'm not sure if that does or does not include Derek's Essay though. The song was "The Kill" by **30 Seconds to Mars**. Thank you all so much for reviewing! I love hearing what you all think. I hope to post again soon. Review! Thanks_


	14. o14o

**Life With Derek**:_ The Secret_

o14o

Derek found that going home to sleep was completely out of the question. After leaving the party and Casey behind, he had resolved to walk around for awhile. Without Sam's car, there really weren't many places he could go unless he wanted to shell out a couple bucks for a bus. Stuffing his hands in his pockets, he was rather happy that it was warm out for this late at night.

Kicking the stone that had found its way in front of his shoe, he liked that the only sound was it skipping over the pavement. Though silence sometimes bothered him it was a welcome guest after the screaming, shouting, yelling, and fighting that had ensued between him and Casey. Shaking his head, he grimaced at what had happened. Part of him had truly hoped things would be different. Although he wasn't counting on their conversation, if he could even call it that, starting out with him finding her kissing _perfect Michael_.

In three months, he thought maybe the jealous feelings he possessed when it came to her might've faded, but they were just as strong as ever. More so because he knew he couldn't be Michael, or any other guy that had a real chance at being with Casey. He had his shot and he completely blew it. He was hoping that when they finally talked things would be resolved and blindly, he had high hopes that she would take him back. He never took into consideration the other factors of their relationship; namely the fact that they were now step siblings, not that he ever thought of her in a sibling-like way.

His dad would likely blow a gasket if he found out and start citing the laws on incest, even though it very much wasn't. Nora would make that face she reserves for the exact moment she realizes he's done something very wrong, or faint. Edwin would shake his head and probably say something along the lines of, "Dude, what about all the other babes out there?" To which Derek would simply slap him upside the head and tell him to wait for his voice to crack before he started with that kind of crap. Marti already knew, he could tell she still remembered, so she wouldn't mind in the least. Lizzie was a hard one to judge though; given her relationship with Casey, she might already know what happened in the past, even if she didn't know it was he who had broken Casey's heart. So Lizzie could go a few ways in her reaction; she could be understanding and accepting of it, given that she was rather rational and liked looking on the bright side of things. Or she could ask him if he was completely crazy and vote he needed his head examined. Then there was always the possibility that she simply wouldn't care at all, citing that she knew there was something different between us but could care less.

It didn't really matter now; he and Casey were officially over and there was no going back. There was no misunderstanding still left hanging in the air. He'd finally admitted exactly what he'd done and why he had made the mistake he did. He had publicly humiliated himself and could actually care less. Disregarding his reputation and how his peers might treat him Monday, he had admitted that not only did he love Casey but that she was the only one he had ever slept with. That was a pretty big thing to say, given he's known for his not so clean record when it came to the many girls he'd 'dated.'

One thing he certainly didn't regret was their goodbye; he could still feel her succulent lips pressed against his. Without acknowledging it, he lifted his hand and touched his mouth for a moment. He could still smell her sweet vanilla scent, lifting from her silky hair. He could still feel her soft skin beneath his fingertips, sending a shiver down his back.

Such simple words and yet they held the world in them: "_I'll always love you_." He was being completely honest; no truer words had every left his lips. She was it for him; sixteen and he'd found _The One_. Though nobody would likely believe him; in fact, most would laugh in his face. He knew though; he knew she was the only woman he'd ever feel this for. The only woman who would ever cause his heart to shatter at the mere though of not having her.

He voiced this once to an adult at the Diner that mentioned his ritual, the guy called it Puppy Love. Derek calmly and honestly responded, "Show me a guy who knows a girl better than I know Casey, and you can tell me what it is I'm feeling." His answer promptly shut the guy up and Mac simply laughed and sat down in the booth to chat with him while he ate.

Mac had told Derek of his wall and the couples that layered it; not one of them had divorced in all the years he had been building it. When Derek asked exactly what it was that possessed him to make the wall, a sincere smile crossed the older man's face.

"My wife Laura and I met right here in this very Diner. The day I opened it, she was my very first customer. I swear I fell in love right then and there; most beautiful woman I'd ever seen in my life. Smart, funny, and completely clueless of how entirely gorgeous she was," he explained, his voice still full of adoration for the woman he'd been married to for nearly thirty years. "I just knew, right then, that she was it for me. So I put our names up on the wall, along with the year. She laughed it off, thinking I was just being silly. Two years later, she made me the happiest man alive," he said, sighing with an affectionate grin. "To this day, I've been able to pick out the exact couple that are bound to make it," he said confidently, nodding.

When Derek asked how he knew, he simply shrugged. "I can just tell," he said easily. "Like you and Casey," he pointed out. "I must admit, you two are the youngest couple I've ever noticed in my thirty years of business, but I haven't been wrong yet Derek." He winked conspiratorially. "One day, kid, she'll be all yours and I can tell you I told you so."

Something in his heart had caused Derek to take Mac's words at face value and believe in them completely. Sure he still had a few years of highschool and likely college before he got married, but he knew that when the day came, he wanted Casey to be standing in front of him.

Sighing, Derek kicked the rock again and frowned when it managed to escape off the walkway and across the road. Watching it go, his eyes lifted to see a light still on at the infamous Diner. Smiling lightly, Derek cross the street and headed over. Squinting around inside, he tried to see if Mac was anywhere to be seen. Knocking on the glass, he waited for him to answer.

At first, the older man looked incredibly annoyed, but upon seeing who it was, his face lightened up. Unlocking the doors, he held them open. "I was beginning to think you might've moved away," Mac joked.

Chuckling, Derek shrugged. "I've just been really busy with stuff," he said. Walking over to his practically reserved booth, he slid in and sighed.

Sitting down across from him, Mac simply waited for him to say whatever needed to be said.

"You know how you thought Casey and I were going to be this years couple?" Derek asked, keeping his eyes firmly on the blue table top.

"Yeah," Mac answered, crossing his arms and resting them on the table.

"I don't think that's going to happen," Derek told him, letting his breath out and feeling his shoulders sag. "See, we broke up a few months ago," he admitted. "I guess I was hoping she'd take me back and I wouldn't have to tell you."

"So why are you telling me now?" he wondered.

Shrugging, Derek leaned back in the booth. "Because now I know it's officially over, I guess."

"Why's that?" he queried, leaning forward.

"We fought," Derek explained. "Full out rager; tears, screaming, and she even pushed me slightly. Although when we broke up, it was a lot worse. This time it was like... saying goodbye." Running his hands over his face, he stared up at the ceiling for a moment. "I really thought after I told her why I was so stupid, she'd..."

"Forgive you?" Mac finished.

"Stupid, huh?" he asked, shaking his confused head. "I did the dumbest thing possible," he admitted.

"Cheated," the older man supplied.

Looking up sharply, Derek stared at him. "How'd you know?"

"Let me guess," Mac went on. "At first, you couldn't get over how jealous, protective, and all out enraged you were," he explained. "Then you came to a startling realization that maybe you just weren't good enough for her. Lastly, you and some very willing girl got a little closer than you should have, and you realized that you don't want what ever it is she's offering."

"How the hell did you know that?" Derek wondered, staring at him with lifted brows.

"Story of most of the guys before you," he said, smirking. "Look Derek, everybody makes mistakes. Albeit, you made a pretty big one, but you can't keep beating yourself over the head for it. You apologized, you lived through hell, and now you're still suffering because you don't have her." Sighing, he shrugged. "I'm not saying you deserve forgiveness, but you can't keep going on like this."

"You mean pining away for the one girl who's never going to forgive me?" he completed.

"No. Not forgiving yourself and becoming less like the guy she fell in love with in the first place," he told him, seriously. "I can't guarantee that Casey will take you back, but I have a feeling she's not completely over you. When she was in here the other day with that kid wearing a toque, she seemed rather interested in knowing about whether or not I was ever wrong about couples."

"She was here with Sam?" Derek asked, frowning.

"Yeah, this exact booth. Why was he wearing a toque anyway? It's Spring!" he exclaimed, shaking his head.

Paling slightly, he gulped. "What'd you tell her?"

"I told her I thought you and she were going to be this years couple," he explained, shrugging.

"What'd she say?" Derek wondered with interest.

"She asked if I've ever been wrong and I said I hadn't." Leaning back, he crossed his arms. "I may have mentioned that you seemed to really love her and that you were here every Sunday, in this booth, listening to your song and ordering the same thing."

"Great," he moaned. "Now she thinks I'm some kind of pathetic sap," he said, letting his head fall and collide with the hard tabletop.

"Aren't you?" Mac joked, chuckling.

Sighing, Derek sat back up. "I better go, it's getting late. If Nora or my dad find out I've been out all this time, I'll be grounded."

"Alright," Mac said, nodding. "Are you dropping in tomorrow?"

Sliding out of the booth, Derek stretched. "Yeah," he said, shrugging. "Why break tradition? Besides, I've really been craving one of your chocolate shakes lately." Waving, he left to the door and started the walk back to his house.

The air had chilled slightly, but he shook it off. Stuffing his hands into his pockets, he kept his head low as he walked through the dark streets of the city. He had a few dollars on him but the busses weren't running anymore and he didn't have enough for a cab. A few guys living on the street reached out and asked for spare change, at different intervals, so he ended up giving away his last few dollars to them.

It was nearly five in the morning when his home came into sight. Picking up his pace, he crept into the house slowly. His foot was on the first stair when he heard his name being whispered questioningly. Turning around, he put on his best apologetic face. "Hey dad," he greeted.

Tiredly, George Venturi motioned for Derek to follow him into the kitchen. Sitting down at the table, the older man wrapped his hands around a cup of tea. "It's late," he commented.

"Sorry," Derek said, shrugging.

"Where were you? Casey came home hours ago," George pointed out.

"I went for a walk," he explained simply.

"To where?" George wondered.

Frowning, he glared at the table. "Out to the Diner."

"Derek," he said, surprised. "That's nearly a two hour walk from Sam's house!"

"More like an hour and a half," Derek replied, stiffly.

"What were you doing all the way out there?" George asked, sipping his tea.

"Clearing my head."

"Of what?"

"Things," he said, sharply. "What's with the third degree? I've come home late before and you haven't asked this many questions." Glowering, Derek leaned back in his chair, annoyed.

"You've been acting strangely lately, I was only worried," George said, quietly. Sighing, he stared at Derek's indignant face. "I know you haven't been happy lately. What with Nora and her family moving in so shortly after you had such a bad break up with your girlfriend-"

"Wait! What did you just say?" Derek asked, sitting up straight and glaring at his father.

"Well you didn't expect me not to know, did you?" he asked, snorting. "Derek you completely changed for a week," he pointed out. "You were constantly on the phone; whenever I picked it up all I heard was you and some girl talking animatedly."

"You heard us on the phone?" he asked loudly.

Shushing him, George lifted his hand in a quieting motion. "Well I didn't stay to hear what you were saying, but I noticed it was the same girl every time." Shrugging, he smiled lightly. "Personally I was rather happy that you had a steady girlfriend."

"Keyword: had," Derek said, morosely.

"I know," his father said, trying to sound like he understood. "First relationships are hard to get over, so I can understand why you were upset that during such a hard time, you were being forced into a new family living state."

"That wasn't it," Derek blurted, annoyed.

"What do you mean?" George asked, confused. "She wasn't your first relationship?"

"No, she was definitely my first," he said, nodding. "But that wasn't the only reason I was angry. It wasn't just because I lost my girlfriend." Leaning in, he crossed his arms. "You didn't even give me a chance to get to know them before you threw them at me!"

"I gave you plenty of chances to meet them, Derek," he replied, lifting his eyebrows.

"So what if I had met them, even if I had, I'd still have two strangers moving into my house!"

"Three," George corrected.

"No two," Derek said, sourly.

"I don't understand," his father said, shaking his head.

"You never do," he replied, angrily. "You never asked me about my girlfriend, even though you knew I had one. You never asked me if I wanted a new family, even though you knew I was still upset over your and mom's divorce-"

"Derek, your mother and I split up when you were much younger," George tried.

"Yeah, but that doesn't mean I wasn't still upset about it! We never even discussed it. You two just broke up and all of us were sent to live with you. I get two cards a year from her; Christmas and my birthday, and there's no other interaction."

"I can't change your relationship with your mother, but if you want to be closer, you know you can always call her or write-"

"That's not the point! I didn't know Nora or Lizzie, and then one day I'm living with them! What was with that, dad? You didn't ask, or anything," Derek burst out.

"I'm sorry," George said, shaking his head. "I didn't mean to ignore how you were feeling. I just... I needed to do something for myself. You understand don't you?" He stared at him hopefully, lifting his hands in a sorry motion.

Laughing indignantly, he nodded. "Yeah, I understand that you were being completely selfish and decided not to think of your kids feelings. Thanks," he said, sarcastically.

Frowning, George sighed. "Look, son, I know I haven't been exactly understanding lately, but I'm here now. If you want to talk about anything-"

"There's nothing to talk about," Derek interrupted, shaking his head.

"Are you sure? Because you really have been acting strangely lately," he said, slowly.

"That has nothing to do with you," he said, sighing. "Not exactly, anyway."

"What do you mean?"

Covering his eyes with his hands, Derek threaded his fingers into his hair. "Coach said I might lose my spot on the team if I didn't pick my grades up, so I started doing my homework..." Glancing at his dad's sour expression, he shrugged. "More." Clearing his throat, he stared at the table. "I had to write this essay for English on the most important thing in my life-"

"Hockey," George stated.

Snorting, Derek shook his head. "No, actually, it was my girlfriend," he said, sourly. "Ex, I guess."

"Really?" his father said, with wide and surprised eyes.

"Yes, really," he replied, annoyed. "I titled it, "What I Lost," and I actually handed it in on time."

"So what happened?" George wondered, curiously.

"Well after I wrote it, I decided I needed to talk to Ca-" Clearing his throat, he blinked his eyes a few times. "To her, and try and resolve what happened."

Nodding slowly, George tapped his chin. "And she was at Sam's get-together, tonight?"

"Yeah," Derek said, shrugging. "And we talked-ish. It was more of yelling in the beginning. After awhile though, we calmed down and I explained what happened when we broke up."

George let it all sink in and gave a short nod. "Okay, so what went wrong?"

"We can't be together," Derek said, simply. Staring away from his father, he tightened his crossed arms.

Furrowing his brow, George shrugged. "Why?"

"Because she can't forgive me," he said quietly. "Because I can't forgive myself," he answered honestly. Looking back at his dad, he stared at him. "Because you married her mother," he stated, stiffly.

Slowly, George's eyes widened. "C-Casey? You were dating Casey?" Shaking his head, he stared at him confused. "As in Nora's daughter, Casey? But she's- And you're- And we're-" His voice rose a few notches, both with surprise and possibly a bit of anger.

"Yeah, I know," Derek said, sadly.

"Why didn't you say anything?" he wondered, his voice a shocked whisper.

"What was I supposed to say? 'Hey dad, you can't marry her! She's my ex girlfriend's mother!'" he asked, cocking his eyebrow and glaring at him.

"Well I don't know, Derek, but you should've said something," he told him, sharply.

"It's too late now anyway," he said, pushing his chair back. "We're over and nothing's going to change that." Turning around, he walked towards the doorway. "Thanks for this heart to heart," he muttered. "See ya around noon."

Leaving his shocked father in the kitchen, Derek took the stairs two at a time and tried his best not to look at Casey's bedroom door. Walking to his room, heleft the door a few inches open and ran his hands through his hair in frustration. Tugging his clothes off, he crawled into his bed and pulled the blanket around him tightly.

Sighing, Derek didn't know what to make of what just happened. He finally admitted to his dad exactly who his girlfriend had been and it couldn't have been the smartest thing to do. Casey likely wouldn't be too happy when she found out. Was he going to tell Nora? Grimacing, Derek didn't even want to think of what she might say when he saw her. Did this mean they were going to have some kind of conversation? Oh god, were they going to ask if they slept together?

He could not go through that conversation again; he remembered when his dad tried to give him the sex talk. Not only was it completely unnecessary, given the information schools were now equipped to hand out, but because he said completely weird things and stuttered a lot. For a guy who managed to make three kids, he didn't sound like he grasped what sex entailed.

George had never been the father that noticed every little thing. He never commented on what he did know, given that he was fairly sure whatever Derek did was never good. Instead of trying to find insight in Derek's life, he took what he knew and stuck to it. Like hockey; George knew Derek loved hockey, so he never ventured away from the topic to more serious ones. When it came to girls, George made no assumptions and asked very few questions; in the past, Derek was happy for this. Recently though, part of him wanted the father who wouldn't rest until he knew exactly what went wrong with his relationship.

Derek became angry that his relationship with his father was rather lifeless and felt the burning desire to break something. He really should attend a few anger management classes sometime, because all this pent up rage couldn't be healthy. Obviously, this late at night he couldn't go around breaking things and smashing up his room. Especially given that there wasn't much left to break since his last rage attack. He needed to vent his anger though, he just didn't know how.

Rolling onto his side, Derek stared into the darkness of his room. Hearing the door creak, he glanced over, hoping it wasn't his dad coming to ask more questions. Though he wanted them to be closer, he couldn't get into it right now.

Stepping into his room, the moon hit her face at just the right angle.

"Casey?" he asked, confused.

"I just-" Sighing, she closed the door behind her. Crossing the room, she kneeled beside his bed. "I just need you to hold me," she said, quietly. "Only for tonight."

Staring at her soft, broken blue eyes, he couldn't say no, nor did he want to. Lifting his blanket, he waited for her to crawl in beside him. She was wearing her pink silk pajama pants with a form fitting black tank top, which was a fair contrast to his simple blue boxers.

Sliding in beside him, she rested her head against his arm and stared up at his face.

Kissing her forehead, he wrapped his loose arm around her waist and settled down beside her. Inhaling her heavenly scent, he let his eyes fall shut. Feeling her roll over and lay closer to him, he could've thanked God or whoever it was that told her this was a good idea. Her arm slipped up, over his side and rested against his back. Holding herself tightly against his bare chest, she snuggled her head against his shoulder and promptly closed her eyes.

"Casey," he whispered.

"Hmm," she asked, sleepily.

"Thank you," he told her. Feeling a soft kiss against his neck, he smiled lightly.

She knew exactly how to calm him down from his irrational and somewhat self-destructive thoughts. While he was sure he wasn't going to get any sleep and felt the need to break something, all she had to do was wrap her arms around him and he melted, in a sappy romance novel type way.

He knew she'd be gone by the time he woke up, but he decided not to focus on the negative. For this night, this moment, he could hold her without abandon. He could enjoy his last moments with her, cradling her tightly in his embrace. Even if tomorrow held the beginning of something he didn't want, he'd face it when it happened. Tonight, he would love her.

oTBCo

**A/N** Thank you all for reviewing! It's really appreciated; you've all said such kind things. The next chapter will likely be the last, possibly one more will follow it. I will be posting his Essay at the very end. It involes a little more than the Essay, and I must admit, I absolutely love how it ends. Once again, thank you all for reviewing. Please do so again:)


	15. o15o

**Life With Derek:** _The Secret_

o15o

Casey woke up to the most incredible feeling; a feeling she had sorely missed. Taking a deep breath of morning air, she rolled over slowly. Derek was still peacefully sleeping, his arm holding her both loosely and tightly. Tight in the way that even in his dreams, he didn't seem ready to let her go, and loose in that she could easily slide away when the time came; and it would come.

Staring up at his serene face, she simply watched him. His hair was ruffled; a disarray of red-brown strands. His face, though obviously filled with a sleepy sense of sadness, was just as handsome as it had always been. Reaching her hand out, she lightly traced the line of his eye, coming from the tip of his eyebrow and ending down under his lashes. He stirred slightly, pressing his cheek into her palm unconsciously. Moving her thumb, she brushed it over his lips. So many times she had wished she could kiss away their fighting; just press her mouth against his and enjoy the perfection the mold completed.

Her stomach rose and fell, rather quickly now as her breathing had picked up in pace. She could feel the tears in her eyes, burning and pleading to be let out. She had missed him, more than she cared to admit to herself in the past. He had always held a sense of security, her secret haven in his embrace. Though that security had been shattered when he had broken her heart, she still found it comforting in his arms.

Tangling her fingers in his hair, she ran them through and down his neck. Her shaky hand wrapped around his shoulder, slowly caressing its way down his long and strong arm. Ending at his hand, situated sweetly over her bellybutton, she ran her finger tips over the long five appendages of his hand. Moving back up his arm, her hand then ran down his side. She could feel his body flex under her hand instinctively, her fingers brushed over his warm skin moving down to trace the lines of his tensing and relaxing stomach. Running her fingers over his chest, she settled her hand over his heart.

After his speech about what happened, she had a warped understanding of what had happened. Forgiveness takes time and a lot of courage. It wasn't that she didn't want to try; it wasn't that she didn't want the happiness they once shared. Part of her had always wanted Derek back; had always needed him to tell her he loved her and to hold her just like this. But he had done the one thing she wasn't sure she could forgive; he had so easily taken what another girl offered, even though he knew that she was completely happy to be with him.

There were so many doubts if she decided to take him back; so many worries that he would do it again. Was he going to feel like he wasn't good enough for her again? Was he going to kiss some other girl believing that it was harmless? Was he going to continue to be jealous, and instead of talking about it, turn it around as a reason for him to fool around with others? Was he going to truly love her the way he should, and never, ever hurt her like this again? Could she trust him?

Seeing his eyes open, Casey's breath caught in her throat.

He stirred for a moment, not entirely sure of what was going on. Inhaling slowly and then sighing, he stared at her through half closed eyes. "You're still here," he said, surprised.

Nodding, she bit her lip. Looking down at her hand still pressed against his chest, she started to pull it away.

Derek was faster than her, however, and he covered her hand with his, holding it in place. Reaching out his free hand, he tipped her head up to him. His jaw clenched for a moment before he wiped at the tears dangling at the bottom of her eyes. Cupping her cheek, he ran his thumb over the soft skin of her face.

The warmth of his hand made her sigh; staring up at him, she wasn't sure what she was doing. Her previous questions were still ringing in her mind, but having him so close made her want to forget her worries. He was fully awake now; his eyes clear and full of questions. He was probably wondering what this meant; if her staying was a message that she wanted to give it another try.

The problem was she wasn't able to tell him why she was still there. She could've left when she first woke up, or even when she noticed he was. Instead she stayed, she let him touch her and wipe away her tears. He shouldn't have that right; not when he had caused the tears in her eyes like so many nights in the past. He shouldn't have the luxury of holding her anymore, and yet she wasn't pulling away.

It was early, far too early for Derek to be up since she crawled in with him some time around 5 am. Nobody else in the house would be awake; she was the early bird. When they had been dating, the house was always empty. Except for that morning, when they snuck out early so he could bring her home. She never told him but her mother had been waiting for her, sitting at the table with a mug of coffee and an expression of pure concern.

Nora had known from the start that Casey was seeing someone, she just hadn't given out a name. Or an address, parents names, criminal record check, or anything her mother thought was required. She simply explained that she was seeing someone; someone that made her laugh, that made her happy. Nora had accepted this for awhile, that is until Casey snuck in the morning after her and Derek had made love. It was fairly obvious from the expression Nora gave her after a moment that she had known what happened. And for once, Casey was happy with her mother's reply. It wasn't a scolding, or a long speech on feminism and strong women of the past. It was a long, weepy hug where she murmured, "My baby girl," over and over in her ear.

Of course, she had been more than concerned when Casey had come home crying her eyes out and running to her bedroom. But she got no answer to all of her worried questions, she simply had Casey clutching at her and sobbing. It was known then, that Casey no longer had a boyfriend and it hadn't ended well. To this day, Nora did not ask questions though; she understood that it was a very sore subject.

After they moved in with the Venturi family, Nora noticed a change in Casey. While she had been distant and morose after her lost boyfriend, she became angry after the family merge. Though Casey knew her mother assumed it was a mixture of a broken heart and annoyance, she never corrected her and told her the truth behind her past relationship with Derek.

Derek's fingers had threaded into her hair now, rather tentatively. She could see on his face that he was waiting for the moment she might slap him and leave; which she completely had the right to do, she believed. The hand he had over hers, was rubbing its thumb over her fingers. Without saying anything, Derek moved his face a little closer, staring her in the eyes softly.

Rolling onto her side, she felt his stomach press against hers. Her eyes ran over his face, landing on his slightly parted lips. Tipping her chin a little, she moved her eyes up to his and simply stared at the deep brown swirls. His hand fell down to cup her neck and his face very slowly inched towards hers. Casey knew she should pull back, should stop him, but she didn't move. Feeling his warm breath on her lips, she shivered.

In what seemed like the longest moment, Derek's lips slowly pressed against hers lightly. His eyes were locked on hers until he felt her pressing back, and then they fell shut. The kiss was short at first, slowly pecking at her lips and then pulling back a small amount before moving back in. Before long, he was kissing her like he used to though; with vigor and passion. Running his tongue along her lower lip, he waited for her to part her mouth before tangling his tongue with hers.

His hand moved across her shoulder and down her arm, wrapping around her forearm and tracing down her skin to her wrist. His thumb ran over her pulse, tickling her. She smiled against his attentive mouth, feeling his lips curl against her in a grin of his own.

Lifting her hand out from beneath his, she wrapped it over his side and pressed her fingers into his back before moving them up and wrapping her hand around his shoulder from behind. Derek turned over onto his back, bringing Casey on top of him and not breaking their kiss. His other hand ran up and wrapped in her hair, brushing against her neck. Wrapping a hand around his side, Casey enjoyed the feel of his tight sculpt tensing beneath her grasp. His breathing had picked up, causing his stomach to press into hers.

The hand caught in her hair ran down her back, resting in the center above her pajama pants. Pulling back from his mouth, Casey pressed a kiss against his jaw, moving across and down his neck. He turned his head to the side, letting her take control of the situation; likely fearing if he didn't, she might stop. Running her teeth over his skin, she sucked on the crevice where his neck met his shoulder.

Sighing against him, she sat up. Curling her fingers around the bottom of her top, she slowly started lifting it. He seemed more than surprised at first, but came to his senses and stilled her hands. Leaning forward, she caught his lips in a warm kiss. "Do you love me?" she asked, pulling back an inch and staring him in the eye.

"Always," he told her, his voice husky.

Wrapping her hands around his, she brought them with her as she removed her shirt. Her hair fell to one side, slipping over her shoulder. His hands cupped her hips, rubbing circles into her skin. Leaning forward, she pressed her lips against the side of his mouth, running kisses over his face, slowly. He turned them over, unhurried by the situation.

He undressed them in a deliberately slow motion, pressing his mouth against her hot skin and enjoying the feel of her beneath his hand. Her arms were wrapped around his neck, one hand in his hair and the other pressing against his back. The moment he was inside of her, she closed her eyes and stopped the tears that had gathered. His hands were wrapped around her shoulders, slowly moving down her sides. He set a moderate pace, taking the time to taste all of her and in the process drawing out the inevitable end. He knew what this was just as much as she did; one last time.

Most couples say goodbye in a fashion less loving, but they weren't Derek and Casey; who still loved each other. She didn't want to know what their parents might do, knowing they were together. She didn't want to hide the relationship, because it shouldn't be hidden. She didn't want to wait until she was eighteen, because she loved him now and waiting meant she was embarrassed, which she wasn't.

Running her hand down his face, she stared up at his adoring and affectionate expression. There was no one else alive that could possibly make her feel the way he did; with his light touch, his sweet kisses, and his perfect love making. She didn't want to let him go; she didn't want to walk away when he fell asleep. But she would; and he would understand, because he always does, even if he doesn't show it.

Pressing into her once more, he caught her ecstacy filled cry with his mouth; moaning his own pleasure into her. Collapsing on top of her, his arms wrapped around her lovingly. He turned them on their sides, not wanting to crush her with his weight and knowing she needed some way of escape.

He was drowsy, not having slept much and exhausting himself with their long moment together. She could see the fear in his eyes; he didn't want to sleep now, knowing she'd be gone when he woke up. Running her hand down his face, she kissed him once more.

"I love you," she whispered. "I never stopped."

Hugging her tightly, Derek kissed her shoulder and up her neck. Pressing his lips against hers, he sighed into her mouth. Closing his eyes, she chose not to stare at the tears that had collected in the corners. He kissed her forehead and wrapped a loose arm around her waist. Rolling over, pressing her back against his stomach, she threaded her fingers with his and smiled sadly as his face buried in her hair and his breath played over her back.

When she felt his body relax and his breathing steady, she crept off the bed, slipping her clothes on and walking to the door. Turning back, she stared at him once more, wiping the falling tears from her eyes saying, "Goodbye," in an inaudible voice. Closing the door behind her, she walked away.

Finding she couldn't sleep, she went downstairs and into the kitchen. Surprised at seeing her mom sitting at the table, she smiled lightly and hoped her eyes weren't as red as they felt. Pouring a glass of orange juice, she decided to take it to her room. As she approached the door to the living room, she heard her mom call her name. Turning back, she found her mother staring at her concerned.

"Talk to me," Nora asked, quietly.

Looking down for a moment, Casey wasn't sure what to do. Swallowing, she walked back to her and sat down at the table. Running a hand over her face, she stared down into her orange juice, sadly. "What do you want to talk about?"

"I want you to tell me what's wrong," her mother told her, simply. Her dark hair was slightly messy and the thick robe around her seemed odd given her usually very clean appearance.

"Do you remember before we moved in with George and everyone," she started, "when I was seeing someone?" She swallowed the hard ball of emotion in her throat.

"Of course," Nora said, reaching out and wrapping her hand around Casey's. "I know we didn't really talk about it, but there was so much happening at the time. I'm very sorry for that."

Letting out a shaky sigh, Casey shook her head slowly. "Do you remember what I was like back then?" she asked, looking up at her.

"Yes," Nora said, nodding. "You were very happy." Sighing, she smiled lightly. "In fact, I don't think I've ever seen you happier." Her smile turned into a frown, however. "It was terrible to see you so upset."

Nodding, Casey bit her quivering lip. "I still love him," she whispered, her eyes darting around with new tears.

"Oh honey," Nora said, squeezing her daughter's hand before she stood up and rounded the table. Taking Casey's head, she pulled it to her shoulder and rubbed her back. "First loves are always hard to get past."

Shaking her head, Casey sniffled. "He was my last love," she said, quietly.

"No," Nora said, running her hand of her daughter's hair. "You'll love again; one day, when you're ready."

"No," Casey said. "I was ready and I love him. He was it."

"It?" her mother asked, surprised. "Casey, you're only sixteen."

"I know," she replied, closing her eyes. Pulling back, she stared at her seriously. "I know I'm young, but he was it mom. He was supposed to be _The One_ and years from now, I know I was supposed to marry him."

Staring at her speculatively, Nora frowned. "How do you know?"

"Mac's never wrong," she said, crying.

"Who's Mac?" Nora asked, confused.

Ignoring her question, Casey continued. "And I just knew; I could feel it!" she explained. "When he held me, or- or- or when he k-kissed me." Sniffling, she wiped at her eyes furiously. "And he made a really stupid mistake, but I know he'll never do it again. I know!" she said, sounding rather hysterical.

"Oh Casey, sweetheart," her mother fawned. Sighing, she shook her head. "If you really love this boy, and he really loves you, then honey why aren't you together?"

Hiccuping, Casey shook her head and stared down. "Because," she said, shrugging.

Cupping her cheek, Nora lifted her daughters puffy, red face. "Because why?" she asked, softly.

Inhaling deeply, Casey stared at her mother searchingly and all she found was understanding. "Because he's Derek," she whispered.

Casey watched as her mother's face went from one of sadness at seeing her daughter cry, to shock. "Derek?" she repeated. "As in George's son, Derek?"

Nodding slowly, Casey let her breath out shakily. "I met him a couple weeks before you and George got married." Shaking her head, another whirl of tears spilled from her eyes. "We had no idea that you guys were dating."

"Is that why you broke up?" Nora asked.

Shaking her head, Casey sighed. "No," she told her, honestly. "We broke up for something entirely different. We worked that out though; some of it anyway."

"What does that mean?" her mother asked, her face pale and drawn.

"We're not together," she said, quietly. "If that's what you're worried about." Looking away, she sniffled. "I wasn't going to tell you, but..."

Nora shook her head, as if still absorbing it all. "That's why you fight so much, and here I thought it was because you were close in age and forced to live together."

Not saying anything, Casey simply nodded.

"Why didn't you tell me? Before the wedding, or even after," she wondered, furrowing her brow.

"You were so happy to marry George, I didn't want to ruin that for you." Casey shrugged, wiping at her face and clasping her hands together.

"But honey, you were upset. You should've told me," Nora said, sympathetically.

"What could you have done?" she asked.

Sighing, Nora shook her head. "To be honest, I don't know."

Hearing a noise from behind them, Casey turned around to see a sleepy George walking into the kitchen. Looking down at her, he seemed to become very awake. "Uh, Nora, I need to talk to you about something."

"Yes, I need to talk to you too," Nora told him, nodding. Standing up, she rested a hand on Casey's shoulder. "Don't worry," she told her, quietly. "Everything is going to be sorted out."

Watching her mom and George leave, Casey picked up her orange juice and left for the stairs. Climbing them, she slipped into her bedroom and laid down on her bed. Feeling the effects of her earlier excursion and not enough sleep, she let her eyes flutter closed. She hoped her mom had a solution to her problem; though she highly doubted there was one. How do you stop loving the person you're sure you're meant to be with?

oTBCo

**A/N** _Okay, so there will be a Chapter 16, which will be an end of sorts. Then I'm posting Derek's Essay, which is also an Epilogue, kind of. Thank you all for your incredibly nice reviews! I hope you all enjoyed this chapter, please review._


	16. o16o

**Life With Derek:**_ The Secret_

o16o

Derek stared at the bare space beside him; he could still smell the faint scent of vanilla. It was on the sheets, on the pillow, the blanket, and even on him. His hand curled, balling the sheet into his fist. He never wanted to say goodbye; he hadn't wanted to let her leave. There was no stopping Casey when she had her mind set on something though, and she was sure that no matter how much they loved each other, nothing could come of it. Whether it be from her fear of their parents not approving, or because she just couldn't forgive him for his past, he didn't know. In the end, they were over and that's all that caused the pain in his chest.

Suffering from a broken heart was a common ailment amongst teenagers, but he was sure that no one before him had felt this bad. Sure, they had thought they loved, they thought it hurt not to have their girlfriend around. But they weren't Derek, and sooner or later they would move on and fall for someone else, Derek would not. He wanted Casey and only her. He didn't want to go back and start dating random girls; holding them for a day, kissing them for a moment, closing his eyes and pretending it was her. He didn't want to hold their hands and act like he cared what they were talking about. He didn't want to see Casey every day and know that there was absolutely no hope for them.

He had slept much later than he intended, likely because he had worked his body to exhaustion earlier that morning after only an hour or so of sleep. Rolling off the bed, he stared at the red glowing numbers on his alarm clock; 6:00 pm. Dressing quickly, he decided not to take a shower. He didn't want to wash away her faint scent and he couldn't stand being in the house any longer. Grabbing his wallet, he checked inside to see what his cash situation was. Hurrying down the stairs, he ignored his dad calling out to him. Taking his leather jacket, he semi-slammed the door behind him and managed to catch the bus right before it left.

Walking to the very back, he ignored the interested looks a couple giggling girls were giving him near the front. In a sour and obviously stressed mood, he plopped down by the window and raised the hood of his army green sweater over his head. He probably didn't need to wear both a jacket and a hoodie, but he felt exposed slightly. It was more of his emotional state than his physical, but he cared not for analogies at the moment. Leaning his forehead against the cold glass window, he watched the scenery fly by outside.

Spring was in the air, as cruel as it was. It seemed God was out to spite him, since the sidewalk seemed to be lined with happy couples. It was as if a parade of girls and guys, happily in love, walked out in the warm breeze just to rub it in his face. Glaring at them, Derek turned his eyes away and stared down at his hands. Sighing, he wondered if his unhappy state was ever going to fade away. Deciding it wasn't going to happen, he leaned his head back and glowered at the roof of the bus.

Crossing his arms, he frowned when he felt something in his pocket. Slipping his hand inside his leather coat, he extracted the unknown item. Sighing, he cursed Fate and the cruel nature of whoever loved to see him going through so much torture. The folded picture happened to be one of him and Casey, he never had the heart to throw it away and seemingly forgot it in his coat. Taken the night at the hockey game, one of his teammates girlfriends had caught them when he was holding her in the center of the rink and leaning in for a kiss. Giant, adoring smiles covered their faces, a note of laughter creased Casey's happy expression. Smiling at the picture softly, he then swallowed the irritating sting of emotion stuck in his throat.

Hearing someone sigh, he looked up to see the two girls from earlier staring at him with flirtatious smiles. They had moved to the back to get his attention, apparently. Inwardly groaning with annoyance and trying his best to suppress rolling his eyes, he gave them a small smile and proceeded to put the picture back inside his coat pocket. They weren't letting up though, he's not that lucky.

"Hey, my name's Tara," the blonde, and possibly better looking, girl said, grinning.

She had bright blue eyes, long hair, and a pert nose. It was obvious she was very used to flirting with guys and getting a lot of attention. Since she epitomized exactly what he was avoiding, he prayed she would disappear completely. He did not need to look into the face of past and see the type of girl he likely would've dated for a day or afternoon.

Nodding, he decided not to speak, hoping they would get the point.

"Uh, Hi, I'm Lindsey," the brunette said, smiling with a hint of nervousness.

It was plain for anyone to see that she was the one guys noticed less, if at all. When out with a friend, most girls try to hang out with those less attractive. Of course, when there are two, one of them must be oblivious to this. She was cute in her own way; a little quirky looking, with a not so in-style fashion sense. Long light brown hair, with a slight wave, and dark brown eyes that held a small sparkle. Her head was adorned with a bright beanie, a small hint at the personality she kept hidden. She faintly reminded him of a less beautiful Casey.

Finding a sense of pity for the less attractive girl, he held his hand out to her, she shook it. "Hey," he said, politely. "I like your hat," he complimented.

Her hand reached up to it unconsciously, but before she reply her blonde friend interrupted.

The blonde seemed to scoff quietly, surprised that he would turn his attention to Lindsey instead of her. "She wears it all the time!" she told him, rolling her eyes. "I keep trying to get her to throw it out, but she's been wearing it for years and refuses to!"

Derek smiled briefly, Lindsey reminded him of Sam. "Stick with it, I think it's cool."

Blushing, Lindsey smiled. "Thanks," she said, quietly.

Staring at them in shock, the blonde needed to take his attention once more so she turned her look of surprise to one of flirtation. "Where are you headed?"

He really didn't like the blonde, maybe because she was so much like the girl he had cheated on Casey with, or because she was annoying and rather rude. "Likely the same place you are," he said, sighing.

She seemed to take this as him hitting on her, which he definitely was not. Everybody goes to the Diner on Sundays, it's just the place kids his age go.

Turning to Lindsey, he blinked rapidly when he saw Casey's blue eyes instead of the real girls dark ones. Clearing his throat, he glanced away. "You're going to the Diner, right?" he asked, Lindsey.

Nodding, she smiled. "Yeah, we're meeting a couple friends there."

She seemed to be warming up to him slightly, likely because he was being so outwardly friendly. It was really his style, given he usually had to act incredibly cool, but he felt bad for her and thought she seemed like a nice person.

"Cool," Derek said, simply.

"Are you meeting anyone there?" the blonde asked, her name had completely slipped his mind and he didn't care enough to ask her for it again. She smiled a syrupy grin at him, that only made his stomach turn.

Shrugging, Derek shook his head. "All my friends will be there," he told them, vaguely.

"You must be popular," Lindsey said. It was more of an observation rather than an excited interest like most girls.

He didn't really want to get into it about his status; all it would take, was the use of his name and they'd know who he was. He didn't feel like being Derek Venturi, he just wanted to go to the Diner and wallow in self pity, alone and depressed. Besides, telling them who he was, would probably cause the blonde girl to become even more interested and he could hardly stand her as it was.

"Sure," he replied.

"Well, you either are or you aren't," the blonde said, an attempt at being funny he guessed.

"I am," he said, glancing at her. "Are you?"

He already knew she was, or at least she tried her best to be. She was the type of girl who dated guys like him, to get their rank higher in the popularity chain. The kind of girl who had no qualms doing anything to make them more known. The nature of a girl he'd met many times over, without a care about them and knowing they could care less about him.

"I could be," she said, smiling and tipping her head to one side. Her fingers played with the end of her hair, trying to look cute.

Frowning, he turned back to Lindsey. "I bet you're popular," he lied, sounding sincere. Leaning forward, he stared at her. "Yeah, a cute girl like you. I bet you have all the guys trailing behind you, hoping you'll give 'em a chance."

He was trying to make her feel better, without completely hitting on her. He wasn't interested in the least, but she reminded him of the lost and lonely Casey he had been introduced to after she moved in with him. When she arrived at his public school, she was fairly unnerved at how kids interacted and felt out of place for the longest time.

Blushing profusely, Lindsey gave him a shy smile. "N-No, not me," she said, inhaling sharply.

Winking at her, he glanced back out the window.

Seemingly bored that her friend was getting all the attention, the blonde sighing with irritation. "She's not popular," she told him. "And she's meeting with a guy, so she's not free."

Smiling, he turned back to her. "See," he said to the brunette. "I knew you had guys falling over themselves for ya."

Snorting in a very unfeminine way, the blonde shook her head. "Our friend set her up with her brother," she told him, rather rudely. "I'm only going so I get the chance to meet his best friend. Her date is on the hockey team, and his friend is the Captain," she said, with excitement. "What was his name again?" she asked, turning to the brunette.

"Derek Venturi," Lindsey said. "I don't know why you're interested, everybody knows he's still in love with his ex-girlfriend."

"You're going on a date with Sam?" Derek asked, ignoring their conversation about him for a moment.

"Yeah," Lindsey said, smiling. "Do you know him?"

Smiling, slowly, he nodded. "He's a great guy. You two'll hit it off, I'm sure."

Ignoring their interaction, the blonde stared at Lindsay. "He and his girlfriend have been over for like... ever! I'm sure when he meets me, he'll completely get over that Cassy girl."

"Casey," Lindsay corrected. "She's a good friend of Chelsea's, I don't know why you're so rude!" Flushing slightly at her small outburst, she swallowed and shrugged. "I mean, I think it's rather romantic, in a sad tragedy type way."

"Romantic?" the blonde repeated. "Oh please," she said, rolling her eyes.

"Yeah," Lindsey said, sighing wistfully. "Girl meets guy, girl changes guy, girl and guy fall madly in love, and well, then hearts are broken."

Snorting, the blonde rolled her eyes. "Yeah, that broken heart junk happened when he cheated on her." Crossing her arms, she cocked an eyebrow. "I bet she wasn't putting out. If he were with me, he'd never stray."

"I really don't think he's interested in dating right now," Lindsey told her, frowning. "I mean, he loved her so much..." she sighed.

Derek decided he liked Lindsey, possibly because she was for his relationship with Casey, or just because she was shy and rather quirky. He thought she'd be a great date for Sam, and hoped they really hit it off. He wouldn't mind her hanging out with his best friend; she wasn't a status grubber like her friend. He'd never really heard anyone express how they thought the relationship between he and Casey looked like, but he rather liked that she saw it as a love story, even though it had a tragic ending.

"Still does," Derek said, quietly.

"So you know Derek?" Lindsay asked, brightening.

Seeing the Diner up ahead, he pulled the wire and stood up. "I am Derek," he said. Glancing down at her, he smiled, noticing her look of pure shock. "Good luck with Sam, Lindsey." Waving, he walked off the bus and jogged over to the Diner, leaving the stunned girls alone as they just managed to scramble off the bus.

Walking inside, he smiled as the familiar bell rang above his head. Waving to his friends all milling around the jukebox, he walked to his booth and slid in. They were used to seeing him there on Sundays and knew not to bother him. This was the night that he was just Derek, the guy who loved a girl and lost her. He wasn't the guy they looked up to, or the guy girls hit on constantly. It was a known fact at the Diner that Sundays, Derek sat at his booth. This booth was off limits to everyone, along with his and Casey's song on the jukebox. People didn't challenge this, because the consequences were certainly enough to scare everyone off.

The one time a guy decided he was going to play the game and try and sit in Derek's booth, just to test his reaction, hadn't turned out to good for him. Derek freely kicked the crap out of the guy, after warning him twice that he didn't want to do what he was doing. When all that was returned was a smirk and a cocky comeback, Derek was pretty happy to wipe his smug look right off his face.

When a shadow fell over the table, Derek looked up to see Emily and Michael, holding hands. Emily smiled at him softly. "Hey," she said, a hint of sadness in her voice. "No Casey?" she asked, hopefully.

Derek shook his head, glancing at Michael. "Sorry I threatened to rip you apart," he said, shrugging. "I can be a little aggressive."

"It's no problem," Michael replied, holding his hand out for Derek to shake.

Taking it, Derek nodded. "Emily's a great girl," he told him. "Take care of her."

"I will," Michael replied, smiling at her.

Chuckling, Emily waved to him. "See ya, Derek," she said to him, a pitying smile on her face.

They walked away and Derek welcomed the alone time. Of course, he couldn't be lucky enough to just sit alone like people usually let him. No, it seemed all of his friends, or Casey's, had to come by and give their condolences at the dead relationship.

Sam walked over and smiled down at him, slightly uncomfortable. "I'm guessing Casey's not showing up anytime soon," he said, sadly.

"Not that I know of," Derek replied, grabbing a menu.

"You already know what you're going to order," Sam told him, shaking his head. Inhaling deeply, he let it out slowly. "I really thought you guys were going to figure things out."

Shrugging as if he didn't care, Derek kept his eyes on the menu. He didn't feel like talking about it right now, it was still too fresh. Hearing the bell at the door, he glanced up at his best friend. "Your date's here," he told him. "Her name's Lindsey, she's nice. Watch out for her friend, the blonde. She's a bitch," he said, honestly.

Looking up at the door, Sam's face slowly melted into a surprised and happy smile. "See ya later," he said, before sliding out of the booth and walking to the door.

Sighing with aggravation, Derek put the menu back in its place and glanced over at the counter, searching for Mac. Seeing the older man come out from the back, he waved and nodded.

Mac tipped his head in acknowledgment and turned to the cook. "Derek's back," he called.

"Deluxe and a chocolate milkshake, coming right up," the cook called back, a hint of laughter in his voice.

Running his hands through his hair, he leaned his elbows on the table and closed his eyes. One mistake had cost him everything. Now he was doomed to live out his Sundays all alone in a Diner, where everybody knew he was wallowing in his lost relationship. Students from different schools knew his story, his friends knew what happened now, and the good man who believed he and Casey were destined to be together, had his lifelong theory of knowing who was going to wind up with who dashed.

There was no way to truly apologize and get his meaning across. He couldn't give her insight to his thoughts, his soul. He could only promise her, top to bottom, that he would never, ever make such a stupid mistake again. He wouldn't even look at another girl, if only she'd take him back. If only she'd accept him into her heart once more and forgive him.

Clenching his jaw, he exhaled loudly. He was so tired of all this; all these emotions running a muck with his usually clear mind. In the past, he never had to deal with this kind of thing. He only had two things to worry about; hockey and who he felt like making out with any given day. And even then, the latter wasn't really a worry, so much as a question.

The bell dinged again in the background and Derek vaguely heard a lot of whispering in the background; shocked and interested in whoever had entered. The song playing in the background ended, and a familiar tune picked up. Derek frowned, nobody played that song but him; even a new person to the regular Sunday night Diner crowd would have been warned not to play that song. Lifting his head, he was about ready to tear someone's head off.

I had no choice but to hear you, You stated your case time and again, I thought about it

Just as he was about to slide out of the booth and rip someone a new one, he saw her. His face cleared of all possible emotion and his pulse quickened. Swallowing, he simply stared at her. Suddenly all of the surprised whispers made sense; it was only right for his peers to take notice of his ex-girlfriend making an appearance at the infamous Diner while he was there.

Her deep blue eyes locked on his as she slid into the booth across from him, turning to her side she waved at Mac.

"One banana shake," he said, winking. "Coming right up."

Looking back at him, she let out a shaky breath.

Staring at her in confusion, he leaned back in the booth. "Why are you here?" he asked, quietly.

It wasn't that he wanted her to leave, but rather, he didn't think she'd come back. He figured after the morning, things would go back to how they were before. His spiteful words wouldn't hold what they used to towards her; in fact, he'd probably drop the charade entirely. He didn't expect her to come back to him though; especially not there at the Diner.

"I wanted to talk to you," she told him, looking down at the table.

"I thought you said all you needed to say," he stated. "Your last goodbye was pretty obvious."

Closing her eyes, she wiped at her face, ridding her cheeks of the tears that began to fall. "I- I told my mom, about us," she said, softly.

Running his hands over his face, he chuckled slightly. "That's alright, I told my dad last night." Leaning forward, he crossed his arms and put them on the table. "Is that all you came to say? A small warning so I don't walk in to find her yelling at me for no apparent reason?"

You treat me like I'm a princess, I'm not used to liking that, You ask how my day was

Shaking her head slowly, she looked down at her hands. "No," she told him, her voice quivering. Swallowing, she looked back up at him. "I want to trust you," she told him. "I want to believe that you would never do it again. That you'd never hurt me again." Her voice broke, and she closed her eyes to try and collect herself.

Staring at her, he had to stop himself from reaching out. He knew she'd just pull away and he'd feel even worse. "I can't make you believe me," he said, honestly. "I can't show you that I'll never do it again." Looking up, he stared into her eyes seriously. "I can only tell you that seeing how much it hurt you, broke my heart. And that I don't ever want to see you in that kind of pain again."

Her lips quivered uncontrollably and her hands shook on the tabletop.

Unable to stop himself, Derek let go and covered her hands with his. "Hey," he called softly, causing her eyes to come up to his. "We had a good time together," he told her.

Inhaling deeply, she nodded, tears spilled over from the sharp movement. "A great time," she agreed.

Their five dates, save for the moment he lost her, happened to be the most fun he'd ever had with someone. Sometimes, he wondered if it were all just a dream; wishful thinking on his part. As if he could possibly have a relationship with her; the beautiful, intelligent, and perfect Casey. In his dreams, she loves him. But in reality, she hates him. He knew this wasn't the case; his dreams and his life had merged together, not entirely nicely though. While he had her, real and true, he lost her. He wouldn't lose the memories they shared though; even if they seemed like some fanciful dream. He'd hold tightly to them, keeping them close to his heart and cherishing them for all they were worth.

Smiling lightly, Derek nodded. "I'll never forget that," he said, honestly. "I could never forget what I had with you."

Inhaling sharply, she let it out in a gasp-like sound. "I don't want to lose you," she said, staring at him searchingly.

"You'll never lose me," he said, squeezing her hands. "I'll always be right there in the room next door."

Frowning, Casey shook her head. "What about when you move out? Go to college and become a millionaire!" she said, raising her eyebrows.

"Well, then you'll just have to move into the guest room of my mansion, obviously," he said, smirking.

Cocking an eyebrow, she sniffled, smiling through her sadness. "Which one? The one in France or the one hidden in a secluded part of Ontario?"

Rubbing his thumb over her skin, he smiled lightly. "Wherever you want," he said, quietly. "As long as you're there."

Your love is thick and it swallowed me whole, You're so much braver than I gave you credit for, That's not lip service

Letting go of his hands, she lifted hers to wipe at her tears but he beat her to it. His hands cupped her cheeks as he brushed away the warm beads, full of sadness, regret, and likely wishes for the future. Running his hand down her face, he pressed his thumb against her bottom lip. "I wish we could stay like this," he whispered.

Looking up, hoping to stop the tears teetering on the end of her lashes, she sighed. "But I must look awful," she mumbled, sniffling.

She couldn't look awful if she tried; he'd seen her sick, seen her when she had just woken up with her hair a mess and her eyes half closed. Still, no matter what happened to her, he'd always see her as stunning. She could never look less than gorgeous in his eyes and nothing would change that view.

"You're always beautiful," he told her, smiling. "Even with red, puffy eyes and a runny nose."

Chuckling, she shook her head.

Clasping his hands together over the table, he licked his lips. There was a question that had been nagging at his mind for far too long, and he needed to know her answer. "Do you think we'd still be together if I hadn't... royally messed up?" he wondered, keeping his eyes on his hands.

Nodding slowly, she sighed. "Yeah," she told him. "I think we could've made it."

Swallowing, he glanced up at her. "How far?" he asked.

"Hmm?" she queried, lifting a curious eyebrow.

"How far do think we could've made it?" he wondered, biting his lip for a moment. "Where did you see us going?"

Sighing, Casey tipped her head to one side. Smiling in a wistful manner, she shook her head. "I guess I thought one day we'd get married and have kids." Chuckling slightly, she shrugged. "You'd run your business and I'd become a writer or something. After college of course," she said, simply.

"School comes first," he muttered, smirking. Becoming somber, he looked up at her. "You don't think that anymore though?" he asked. "You don't... think we could ever get back together?" He tried to steady his voice and keep it void of the high hopes he possessed still; as sad as they were. "That we could still have that future?"

You are the bearer of unconditional things, You held your breath and the door for me, Thanks for your patience

Looking up at him, she tried to catch his eye but he was too nervous to look at her. Reaching out, she covered his hands with hers. "I'll always want that," she told him, quietly. "But the reality of it all, is that it's unlikely it will happen for us."

Inhaling deeply, Derek nodded almost imperceptibly. Finally raising his gaze to hers, he stared at her. "Why?"

Sighing, Casey shook her head. "I'd always have doubts. I'd always wonder if you were having those worries; that you weren't good enough and that was reason for you to go to someone else."

"But I won't," he told her, sternly. "I know I'm not good enough for you," he told her, honestly.

"Yes you are, Derek," she said, shaking her head. "You are incredible, I don't know why you can't see that. Just because you don't get the best grades in school doesn't mean you're stupid; I know you're not. You're going to go to college and start your own business. I know it," she said, nodding. "You just have to find something that interests you."

Squeezing his hand, she sighed. "And you're so much fun; but only when you need to be. That was part of the reason I enjoyed being with you. You knew when to be funny and when not to be. You could be there when I really needed to talk, or make me laugh when I was upset."

Reaching out, she brushed his bangs off his forehead. "And you're so handsome," she told him, smiling softly. "Even if you're sometimes a bit too absorbed in loving yourself," she joked. "You really have reason to be, because if I could, I'd never stop staring into your eyes and running my hands through your hair." Swallowing, she shook her head. "But it's not just how you look on the outside, because you're such a sweet guy. With Marti and even people you don't know; you can be so nice and adoring."

He was blown over by her faith for him, he had no idea that she really believed in him. He never really thought of them that way, he thought he came off as that superior jerk most of the time. Rather cocky, not so smart, and a bit of a narcissist. But she really saw good in him, which may have also brought up why he enjoyed being with her, because she didn't just see his outward self.

Even though she was still saying all of this, her doubts hadn't been squashed. Lifting her hand a bit, he held it tightly. "I know I did the stupidest thing possible," he said, staring at her, "but I also know that I won't ever do it again."

"You may think that now, but I'm sure you didn't go to the party believing you were going to cheat," she said, tiredly.

"You're right," he told her, shaking his head. "I didn't see it coming at all; I honestly thought that there was nobody else I would ever want more than you."

Looking up at him, her brow furrowed.

"And when I messed up, I realized that there wasn't. There is nobody that I will ever want more than you. There is nobody who could compare to you," he told her, seriously. "You can walk away from me, from what we had, but I don't want you to walk away thinking that I loved you any less." Tangling his fingers with hers, he kept his eyes locked on hers.

"Derek-" she started.

You're the best listener that I've ever met, You're my best friend, Best friend with benefits, What took me so long

"No," he said, squeezing her hand to stop her. "I was stupid," he said, honestly. "I let you go and I shouldn't have. I broke you heart, when all I wanted was to hold on to it forever. I made you cry and I wasn't there to wipe your tears." Sighing, he inhaled a breath of courage. "Losing you was the worst thing that could happen to me. Knowing I hurt you, was the hardest thing to comprehend."

Clenching his jaw, he swallowed. "When I met you, you were the most incredible girl I'd ever had the chance to speak to. I was instantly drawn to you, and I think you felt that too." Running his thumb over the bottom of her palm, he watched her blue eyes and noticed tears coming up. "For a week, I knew what perfection was. I knew what love was, and I couldn't have been happier."

Closing his eyes, he willed the burning sensation to go away. Opening them, he bit his lip and hoped she didn't see his chin as it shook. "There is no one out there, that will ever love you like I do. There is nobody that I could possibly love like I do you."

Looking away for a moment, he gathered up what was left of his shattered heart and turned back. "If I could erase everything I did and go on forever, being with you, I would." Gulping, he licked his lips and clenched his jaw for a moment. "If I could show you that I will truly never make that mistake again, I would." His heart was beating somewhat erratically and he tried to calm down but found he couldn't. "If you let me love you forever, I will."

You've already won me over in spite of me, And don't be alarmed if I fall head over feet, Don't be surprised if I love you for all that you are, I couldn't help it, It's all your fault

Casey let her tears freely fall now, ignoring them and the watching eyes. Staring at him, she saw nothing but complete honesty. His dark eyes held nothing but a promise of true love and a sense of worry that he'd be rejected once more.

Derek had made a mistake, a big one mind you, but he apologized and she truly believed he meant it. He wasn't just saying it, because if that were the case, he likely wouldn't have bothered. He had put himself through enough pain and Casey was finally ready to let go of hers. She never let go of her dreams of being with him, nor did she let go of the love she possessed for him. She was just waiting for the moment that she would have him back; the moment she knew he was back for good and wouldn't be leaving her, not ever.

Inhaling deeply, she smiled lightly. "Yes," she murmured.

His eyes seemed to widen for a moment and then his brow fused together. "Yes?" he asked, shaking his head slightly.

Nodding very slowly, she felt her tears stop. "I'll let you love me forever," she told him, quietly.

Swallowing, Derek shook his head in disbelief. "Really?" he asked, almost inaudibly.

"Really," she confirmed.

He was out of his seat and leaning across the table before she could smile. His lips pressed against hers in a burst of happiness and surprise. His fingers thread into her hair, holding her neck and pulling her closely. Casey wrapped her arms around his neck, running her hands in his red-brown hair and enjoying the perfection his mouth supplied.

Cheering rang out in the background, but it went unnoticed by the two.

The sound of someone clearing his throat, caused them to part and look to the side though.

Mac stared down at them knowingly and slid their food onto the table. "While you two eat, I'm going to go carve something into the wall," he told them, grinning.

Chuckling, Casey and Derek smiled at each other, adoringly.

Reaching across the table, Derek threaded their hands together. Playing with her fingers unconsciously, he sipped on his milkshake and stared at her. Picking up his burger, he held it out to her. "Take a bite," he told her, nodding.

Sighing, Casey rolled her eyes. "I'm not hungry," she said.

Smiling, he waved it in front of her. "And not a small one either," he told her, cocking an eyebrow.

Laughing, she leaned in and bit off a nice size chunk. Covering her mouth and chuckling through her food, her eyes sparkled with happiness.

Matching her bite, Derek shook his head. Leaning in, he kissed her chastely. "I ruv woo," he said, through a full mouth.

Nodding, she rolled her eyes. "That was incredibly romantic," she muttered.

Swallowing, he licked his lips and grinned. Picking up her hand, he pressed his mouth against her palm and ran her fingertips over his lips, kissing each one. "I love you," he said, softly.

Cupping his cheek, she smiled. "I know you do," she said, chuckling.

Throwing a fry at her, he laughed.

Grabbing a few fries off his plate, she tossed them at him, chuckling.

Smiling lightly, she sipped some of her shake and watched him eat with a small smile tugging at his mouth. "I love you too," she said, sincerely.

"Who doesn't?" he stated, smirking. Glancing down at his food, he looked back up. "What about Nora and my dad?"

Shrugging, Casey sighed. "Whatever they decide," she started, holding his hand tightly, "won't effect us."

Nodding, Derek looked down into his shake and then back up at her. "So, when do we get to make up?" he asked, wiggling his eyebrows.

Laughing, Casey shook her head and stole a fry, this time to eat instead of throw. "Shut up and eat your food, it's getting cold."

Hours later, after chatting with friends, Mac, and dancing to a few songs from the jukebox, they finally took a bus home. And this time, Derek had no problem looking out the window at the couples still walking the streets, holding onto each other for dear life. He had Casey, and that was all that mattered. Tightening his arm around her shoulders, he glanced down at her face as it snuggled against his neck. The bus stopped right across from their house, some time near ten at night.

Taking her hand, he looked at her appreciatively.

Squeezing his hand, she smiled at him. "We stand firm," she told him, nodding.

Crossing the street, they walked up to the door and opened it, ready to face the music and not caring what their parents had to say. In the end, he knew that Casey wasn't going anywhere. Whether their parents agreed or not, whether they forbid them to date or allowed them with a set of firm rules, he didn't care.

Derek's secret was out; he loved Casey before their parents got together, and he loved her still. Nothing was going to change that; not their parents, and not anything that happened in the future. Because he knew, somewhere deep in his heart, that one day he would be standing at an alter and she would be across from him, dressed in white and ready to marry him. There were no doubts; no worries that they wouldn't get their happy ending. It was inevitable; it was Fate. Casey and Derek were meant to be, because Mac is never wrong.

**

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**A/N **_Epilogue still to come; which I'm sure you'll all enjoy! Please review. I hope you liked how this turned out and I know that you all really wanted it to keep going, but it had to have an ending sometime. Thank you all for so many wonderful reviews! Please do so again, it would be great to reach 300, you know, not that I'm hinting or anything. -winks-_


	17. oEpilogueo

**"What I Lost" **

_by Derek Venturi_

**S**ome say that we don't realize just how much we care about something, or someone, until we lose it; I can attest to that. While I knew that I loved her, I hadn't realized just how much until I couldn't have her any more. It's hard to admit that I actually let my guard down long enough to really feel something for someone. It's hard to even write that I made an incredibly stupid mistake, causing her to rightfully hate me. This is my story of what I lost; the story of the one person who meant everything to me.

**I** grew up on hockey; I lived, breathed, and ate hockey. There was nothing better in the world for me; the high that I experience on the ice is better than anything else. Because of this sport, I was given a coveted position as one of the most popular guys in the school. Before long, I was _the _most popular guy; with no one better. All because of a game; a game that I love to the core. In this high and incredible position over people, I was given certain royalties. By this I mean, I got all the hot girls; whenever and whoever.

**I**'m known as a playboy; a class clown; a slacker. There is no room for me in the school system except as the kid who everyone admires and the boy who wins every hockey game he plays. Outside of the school, I'm seen as the best guy alive; the one everyone wants to know. This comes from my status, my easy going nature, and the fact that if someone isn't cool by me, they aren't cool at all.

**A**t home is a different story. I have two homes; the one I dominated before my step family moved in, and the one I fight in now. Constantly my father and his wife have to designate what is right and what is wrong. They wonder about me but ask no questions; it's better not to know when it comes to me, they think. Before my step family, I had full reign of the house, just like at school. But now, now I have to fight to be heard; fight to be noticed.

**I** am restricted with a label everywhere I go, so you can see why meeting her -a girl who didn't know my school or my friends- was the perfect solution. My popularity didn't faze her; especially since she went to a different school at the time. While people were constantly trying to get my attention, she simply ignored the overt excitement of my status and liked me for me.

**N**ames are not important; all that needs to be known is that she was everything I could ever ask for. Sap words, right? Well, that's what love does to you. We had something special; her and I. Something I ruined with my stupid, and some would say naive, ways. I could say that I was drunk, I could say that it didn't bother me in the least, but I'd be lying. I knew what I was doing that night; the night that I ruined it all for us.

**S**he walked into my life at the exact moment I needed her and she left when I hit rock bottom. My life seemed to be going nowhere but up and I was prepared to take her along for the ride. For the first time ever, I wanted to be with just one girl. I wanted to call her my girlfriend and know that she wasn't going to be with any other guy. I wanted her and only her, for much longer than just a moment or day.

**W**e started out with comfortable and teasing banter. Before long, I was taking her on real and fun dates. I was able to tell her things; things I'd never shared with anyone else. She let me hold her, not because she thought my popularity would rub off, but because she liked being in my arms. For once in my life, I had someone I could truly care about that didn't want me for an ulterior motive.

**I** could have any girl I wanted; I didn't have to choose her. I could've asked any number of ladies if they wanted to be the girl I cared about more than anyone else. But she was different from all the rest and in all honesty, I think she picked me, not the other way around. She held herself high without acting superior. She held a captivating beauty that was both noticed and unplayed upon. She didn't walk around as if she owned everyone, but rather treated everyone the same. Her ability to keep even me in line, with her sharp, sarcastic wit was more comforting than irritating.

**W**hile most girls are in a fashion induced coma, she let herself wear what she wanted and ignored the ever growing trends. Instead of gossiping about every little thing, she enjoyed reading books and hanging out with friends at the Diner. When I played hockey, she'd watch with serious interest instead of talking on her cell phone about her newly manicured nails. And when she could tell I was feeling upset, she listened to me drone on about unimportant events or she let me stew away privately like I wanted to.

**S**he didn't fawn over me, like most girls do. She never followed behind me like a lost puppy hoping to gain a good and cool owner. If she wanted to do something, she told me and accepted no different. However, she was never bossy; she was really more of a compromising person. If I wanted to sit around and watch TV and she wanted to go to a movie, we'd rent a movie and watch it at home.

**I**t seemed like we packed months of relationship time into just a short while. It seemed so natural for us to be together, that we didn't realize we hadn't been dating that long. Being my first time as a boyfriend, I thought we were going at a normal pace. I didn't see any problem with us spending every waking moment together. We never grew tired of each other's company and she may have even rubbed off on me, because my grades picked up slightly. She worked hard at her school -getting the best grades imaginable- so you can see why she might've been surprised at my not so squeaky clean record.

**S**o what did I do with this new found perfection? I destroyed it. We had been going strong for five days; that may not seem long, but for me, it was a lifetime. We had a certain sexual chemistry together, not that we had done anything explicit. All she had to do was kiss me and I fell into a blissful unconsciousness. By the end of the week, I realized I had gotten what I wanted. I had a girlfriend; a real and perfect girlfriend.

**S**uddenly the label was staring me in the face. What would this do to my playboy reputation? Would being with her mean I had to cut down on the time I spent with my friends? Playing hockey? I'd never been in a relationship, so I didn't know what I was supposed to do. It was as if being with her meant that I had given up myself. My name. My popularity.

**I**t wasn't just about me though. While I was wondering exactly what would happen to my reputation, I took hers in mind too. What would people think of her being with me? Would they think she was wasting her time? Is she wasting her time? Was she suddenly going to realize that I was nothing compared to her and leave me? I was scared; although, I'd never really admit it. I mean, being just hers, meant that she would have to deal with my past too. She'd have to know that I wasn't the perfect guy in the past. There were many girls before her and they weren't treated like she was. Was she going to assume that whenever I went out, I was cheating? Would I cheat?

**I**t was a Saturday night; we had gone to a party a friend of mine was hosting. It wasn't anything big, just a small bash to relish in our victory earlier that evening. She was off with a friend, letting me have some space with my team mates. The game had gone well for the most part; aside from a very pushy rival captain who just didn't know how to keep his mouth shut about my personal life.

**I** guess he was who really caused the doubts in my mind. All through the game, he constantly made remarks about my girlfriend. I knew he was just trying to distract me, but I couldn't stop myself from being angry. It was after I had pummeled him both on the ice and outside the school, that I fully understood just how possessive I had become of my girlfriend. Once again, I was worried. Never having had a girlfriend, I didn't know why I was so uneasy about every other male who so much as looked at her. It was a new feeling for me and I handled it the wrong way.

**A** particularly beautiful blonde wanted to give the captain a congratulations kiss. I saw no harm; I figured it was hardly anything to get bent out of shape over. Before long, we found ourselves getting rather heated in a room somewhere in the house. That's not to say I was the least bit interested in her; in fact, I thought of my girlfriend the whole time and in those moments realized that I had finally evolved. I didn't want to be the playboy anymore and I didn't need anyone but my girlfriend. It took me a moment to come to this conclusion and you can imagine what my girlfriend thought when she found me there; not very good things.

**T**hat was the end of that relationship; my one and only. She left me with a sharp slap in the face and a look of pure pain. In that last moment, where her eyes were red and her face was covered in tears, I realized I had lost the best thing in my life. I tried to stop her from leaving, which is when she slapped me. I tried to call her, but she unplugged the phone. After awhile, I figured there was no going back. I couldn't erase the past and she made it clear we had no future.

**I** had let the only girl who ever made a difference in my life walk out of it completely. I can say that I tried, but I think it's obvious I didn't put in enough effort. Maybe I wasn't ready to have a girlfriend; or maybe I was worried that I wasn't good enough for her. Whatever the reason, I let her go and I'll regret doing so for the rest of my life.

**T**his is probably the part where I should put in a happy ending. The part where everything turns out right and I get the girl. It didn't change like that for me. I never got my second chance with her, nor do I believe I truly deserve it. We all have to live with the stupid things we do and I have to live with my mistake. Maybe if I had listened a little better to myself, I wouldn't have been so dumb.

**S**o that's my story; my expression of what I lost. The one girl who ever understood me. The only person who ever listened to me, thoroughly. The first and last woman who ever loved me. What had I given her for her love? A large pile of regrets and sadness. I let my own selfish needs get in the way of seeing what was right in front of me. The only girl I'll ever love; the one I lost and can't get back.

_o**LWD**o_

**_June 25th, 2013_**

_Hey Mr. P,_

_It's been seven years since I took your class and wrote the essay that helped change my life. Titled, "What I Lost," I soon understood the full worth of my ex-girlfriend. I can admit to you now that because I finally did my homework I was able to sort out my past and move forward with my future._

_You should be proud to know that I have just finished college and studied immensely. I am currently in the works at getting my own business off the ground and if all goes well, I'll be the millionaire I strived to be. While I never put enough effort into classes when I attended high school, I want to thank you for assigning the one essay that happened to be a good beginning point in my new life._

_What I lost happens to be what I was given another chance at just a few days after I handed in my homework. My ex and I worked through our problems and were able to get back together. Let me tell you, that was one very incredible reunion._

_Shortly after high school, she and I were married in a small ceremony involving only our close friends and family. Never thought the day would come, but I actually put my playboy reputation behind me and managed to settle down; happily. We're expecting our first child in late August; a little boy. I've already bought him a hockey jersey, so his future is bright._

_I can't thank you enough for trying to push me to do better in my classes and unconsciously helping me with my personal life. I can hear my wife calling to me that I need to take the garbage out, so I should probably wrap this up. Once again, thank you. You'll never know just how wonderful you managed to make my life._

_Sincerely,  
Derek Venturi and his very thankful wife, Casey_

o_**Dasey**_o

_**March 18, 2029**_

Sitting up straight in his creaky chair, Caleb Patterson smiled at the worn and very wrinkled letter in his hand. Sighing, he glanced up at the students scribbling out their work on lined paper. Pulling himself out of his reverie, he glanced at the back of the room. Sighing, he shook his bald and weary head. Though retirement was approaching in quick succession, he still had one student in his class that felt like a flash to the past. One came every year; a new class clown type kid. This one was different though; he was exactly like his father.

"Jake, is there something in the way of you possibly getting your work done today?" Caleb wondered, staring at him with raised eyebrows and annoyed eyes.

Leaning back in his chair, Jake put his arms behind his messy red-brown hair, holding his head in a lazy fashion. "Sorry Mr. P," he called back. "I was just so absorbed thinking about your earlier speech to the class."

Snorting, Caleb shook his head. Young Jake Venturi was far too much like his father and too little like his mother when it came to school. Though he obviously possessed the charisma and charm of his father, he most certainly held the intelligence of his mother Casey, which he showed very little of. Not that Derek wasn't an incredibly smart being himself, he just happened to save his brain from use until college.

"You know your sister is never this difficult," Caleb told him, tipping his head.

"Not my fault," Jake said, shrugging. "I've tried to corrupt her, but she always manages to get her homework done." Shaking his head, he made a face as if he was sad to see his sister stroll down such a bad path.

"Maybe she can tutor you," Caleb suggested. "She may be a year younger, but she's taking advanced courses."

Snorting, Jake crossed his arms over his chest. "I think I'm good, thanks." Glancing at his teacher, he grinned, slowly. "I'm not failing, yet."

Cocking his brow, Caleb leaned forward and stared at him from his seat behind his long desk. "Right, well your father didn't build a multi-million dollar empire by staring off into space, now did he?"

"That depends on which year of his life you're talking of," Jake shot back, smirking in the general Venturi way.

"Take a page from your mother's book and start early, heaven knows I can't last another few years with you doddling around."

"Oh," he drew out, feigning hurt. Holding a hand to his heart, he frowned. "And here I thought we had a special teacher-student bond," he muttered.

A round of amused chuckles went through the class; just like Derek, Jake was very well liked by his peers. Given that he was the captain of his hockey team, the son of two very successful parents, and the resident guy-every-girl-wants, he was reliving virtually every step of his father's past; even the bad parts.

"The only bond you have, is one with detention," Caleb told him, pointedly. "Don't make me call your parents; your mother has heard enough from me in the last few years."

"I'm sure my dad wouldn't mind hearing from you," Jake told him, shrugging.

"If you insist," he said, walking towards the phone.

Paling visibly, Jake sat up a little straighter. "Actually," he said, chuckling offhandedly. "You know, I think he's in a meeting. Why not let me tell him what happened today, and I'll just consider this essay a little more."

Nodding, Caleb tried not to smile as he walked back to his seat.

Clearing his throat, he stared down at the paper for a moment with a furrowed brow. "What's it called again, Mr. P?" Jake wondered, plucking the pencil from atop his ear.

"'What I Lost,' Mr. Venturi," he told him, smirking slightly. Glancing at the tall, beautiful brunette working earnestly in the front, middle desk, he nodded slowly. "I'm sure you can figure something out."

_o**The End**o

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_Thank you all for reading and I hope you enjoyed this last little bit. You are all wonderfully amazing readers and reviewers! I'm incredibly glad that I've written this story and that you've enjoyed it so much! Thank you all. _

Also, if any of you are interested, I was considering a **sequel**. It'd of course be a Dasey, involving their life when they're married. Of course what kind of story would it be wihout turmoil? Jake and his younger sister would be in the story, but I'm not sure if I'll have it written when they're younger, or at the age shown above (where Jake is 16.) Let me know if you're interested and I'll start working on it.

Just one last request, please help me get to 300, it'd be really appreciated. Thanks! -hugs you all-


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